(I didn't know where would be the best place to post this topic!)
Earlier this week I asked my husband to consider trying to reach "15 hours per week" of undivided attention. We will be talking more about this next week, but in the meantime I am a little unclear about what "undivided attention" means. I understand that it should be time for just the two of us, no kids, relatives, friends. And we should be interacting -- e.g., watching TV or going to a movie together doesn't count. I have plenty of ideas of date-type activities which we could do (go for long walks together, go out to eat, cuddle together, etc....) But specifically, I am wondering whether the following activities would be considered acceptable as times of "undivided attention"?
* If we run an errand together? (We could talk as we drive, and also as we take care of the task together).
* If we read a book out loud (for example, spending time each day taking turns reading a few pages aloud from a marriage book -- or any book, even an adventure book - that we can then discuss together?
* Discussing important topics related to our family, for example: planning a schedule together, working on a family budget, discussing parenting issues and how to handle, planning a child's party....??
NOTE: We have really been living as "ships passing in the night". I see very little of my husband; he often leaves early and returns late - we rarely have meals together. When he is around, he usually is in a big hurry, and seems impatient and there are hardly ever times of relaxed conversation. Also, my husband helps very little and I have often felt overwhelmed with trying to get everything done, with young children etc. So, I have really felt quite desparate to just have the chance to discuss and plan with my husband - to share and determine how to handle parenting issues, to try to finally figure out a budget (a problem that has been unresolved for years and has caused great stress), to talk about spiritual matters, or share hopes and dreams. And I can't just jump into these topics if I see him standing stll for a moment in the house -- it feels too abrupt; I feel I need to work up to it, or have a little small talk before launching into something more serious. But, when I may see my husband less than 15 minutes a day, then there is never a chance to discuss or plan anything important. Also, I would love to have the chance to sometimes work on a chore together such as go on an errand, or maybe organize the garage. I am happy to be working together with him jointly, and we may chat as this goes on. HOWEVER - these days, this hardly ever happens.
So, I am wondering whether those examples above (doing an errand or chore together, reading a book outloud, discussing or planning a family schedule or issue) - could be done as a part of a time of "undivided attention"??
Thanks for any feedback you can give on this.
