I miss having someone who knows me so well he can finish my sentences or thoughts. I miss the smile that used to say "I love you" without needing to say a word. I miss reaching over in the night and just knowing he's there. I miss making dinner with him in mind. I miss knowing where I'll be on a Saturday night, which was always date night. I miss planning a summer vacation for somewhere warm in the middle of February. I miss hearing him tell my daughter goodnight. I miss his calls just to see how my day is and making the same calls to see about his day. I miss the shorthand I could speak to him in and always have him know just what I meant. I miss the peace of knowing someone loves me unconditionally. I miss feeling loved. I miss him.

I couldn't have said it better myself... That one made me cry!!!

DITTO.

I know exactly how you feel.

I've been going over and over those same feelings as well. I wont have anyone to go to bluegrass festivals with, I wont have anyone to rent movies with anymore, no one to get up and make breakfast for, no one to make vacation plans with, or a weekend getaway with. No one around that knows exactly my taste in clothes, no one to make my coffee every morning, no one to call up and say "Honey, this song reminds me of you". No one to watch 24 with on Monday nights. That was our one show that we HAD to watch. Along with the things you mentioned above.
And everything I look at reminds me of him. Every song I hear makes me think of him. Every piece of clothing and furniture that I have reminds me of him and our most precious times together. It's so sad. I want him back so bad.

I didn't mean to make anyone sad. I was fixing my daughters ipod and "If you're Gone" by Matchbox 20 was playing and just made me think.

If You're Gone Lyrics

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - but I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - I think too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the room just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much
I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
Cuz there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

Another thing that makes me so sad. Summer is approaching and we always camped a lot in the summer. Going to different campgrounds. We enjoyed those times so much. I had so many plans for us this summer. All down the drain.

itsoonwillend, maybe you should do what I'm doing. make plans to do some of these things with your friends. Believe me, I know it won't be the same but don't give up everything you enjoy doing just because you can't do it with him. I'm sure the first few times will be hard but you can still do the things you love, with or without him.

I was sitting here wondering who would get our season tickets to daughters high school games and I decided it didn't matter because I didn't need them. I can sit elsewhere. I, for one, refuse to stop my life because HE messed up.

All I can say is I hear ya and understand..... I am there as well.

But it does get easier as the time passes.

I still miss all of those things and my real H.

But now I can listen to music without falling apart over a song. If its one that really triggers I turn it off..
I can now go places and do things I don't hide in the house anymore.

I can sleep in the bed now without reaching for him all night long.

These things do get better I promise you.

Yup you still miss them and all of the little things but you find other things to fill the void.

Just keep praying and let time do its job to start healing you.....

God Bless,


Hurting

thanks hurtinginokla. I know for me it's been only 3 weeks since he left but it's getting easier already. But trust me, I still fall apart over things that come up, it's just becoming easier to accept I guess. I used to pray for him to come back but now I pray for the strength to deal with this. Believe it or not, YOU were one of the people who made me realize I can only control myself and I thank you for that.

Iamsolost,

I used to pray everyday he would come home. I still pray for him to come home but my prayers mostly now are for myself and the kids to get stronger and be ok.

It does get easier to accept they are gone. Especially when in planb things do get easier. When I first did planb the first month or so was awful. I wanted to call him, see him anything to just get my fix. I now am fine without those things.

I still get triggers, in fact just a few weeks ago a bad trigger happened in the middle of dinner at a resturant with my inlaws. It was a resturant I had not been to since he left and they have a wandering singer there. He came by our tabl and sang a song that brought back so many memories I fell apart at the table. I had to excuse myself and go outside and get it together. So they still happen just not as much.

I used to think I could change him or his mind. It took a long time for me to figure out I couldn't control him at all. Oh believe me I tried as I think all new BS'S do. Once I realized I had to change me and control only myself did I start to let go and leave him to his own choices.

I still haven't let go of hope and the love I have for him but I know in my heart I will be ok with or without him. And I prove this to myself everyday. I work two jobs, I have taken charge of my life and do what I want to do when I want.

Take care of you and believe it or not the rest will fall into place. Yup triggers will happen and other things will happen that you have to handle by yourself but I know you can do it..... You will get stronger and make life good for yourself. And I truly believe this once we have become stronger and more confident that if/when our WS'S come home or try to we will be better people that will be able to decide if they are really what we want in our lives. Heck they may not be able to handle the confident people we will have become. Time will tell ....... Time will heal.......


Hurting