Hi, anyone know if this is true--H had 8 yrs service in AF before we married, now after 15 1/2 yrs we will divorce--is it true I do not get 1/2 of his retirement, only a pro-rated amount based on the years we are married? Also, he is considering filing for Legal. Sep but stay married until 20 yrs so I get the full medical benies(shh-this probably illegal)....but doesn't want me to have the 20 yr retirement share, which I would be willing to negotiate for the benies....but he is worried he cannot date if we are only sep.--"conduct unbecoming an officer"-something he didn't think of while cheating on me, apparently! But we're not going there bc a reduction in rank = less $ for me and the kids......

Any help would be appreciated; would go to the JAG but I think their priority is to help the active duty military member, not the dependents, from what I hear....

Thanks!
In Pain

I suspect the JAG office is only interested if there is a Courts Martial going on with your WH.

I think this is a matter for an attorney who knows the military benefits system.

I did a quick google and came up with this page:

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/military_divorce_and_pensions

Where it discusses the "points" system and some possible outcomes in NY. You would have to see how this plays out in your jurisdiction, but the idea of how retirement pay is calculated is significant for the discussion.

Sadly, the military is not interested in your husband's infidelity unless it impacts the unit's mission or morale.

Personally, I say expose him and let him pay. The courts can always order that he pay support and maintenance based on his earning potential before being reduced in rank or eliminated from the military.

Then how much money will he have for his little honey on the side?

T

You have to be married at least 10 years to get a portion, 20 years to get life long benefits-- unless you remarry. Once you remarry, you will still get half of his pension, but will no longer get medical benefits again ever...not even if you divorce again.

Your children will get medical benefits until they are emanciated...18 or when they graduate from college. Hope this helps.

PS...I would expose him especially since he is planning on leaving you. Their attitudes change tremendously once they leave. Take what you can now...and don't look back.

By the way, I am not a junior member. I have tons of posts here when I was "Miserynmissouri". My ex has an attitude similar to yours...still does...and he hasn't gotten any better. Sometimes, it is better to cut you losses and move on. Best of luck to you. By the way, he was a B2 pilot and we worked together well for 22 years...then he met his soulmate, and all of a sudden I was never a team member, never stood beside him through his whole military career, still get constant criticism from him....Yuck...get away fast and move on. [color:"blue"] [/color]