[color:"blue"] My cousin and her husband lost their only child, Mary Helen, Tuesday night. She and a friend were going to a school basketball game - she was a cheerleader. They were involved in an accident and Mary Helen, a beautiful, kind 16yo girl was killed.

A few months ago, the headmaster at her school was killed in a car wreck.

Please pray for Mary Helen's family and her friends. [/color]

I am ok - I didn't really know her. But I grew up with her mom. We were never really close but I am so sad about this. No one called me to tell me - I heard about it on the news this morning. I didn't do well at work today. And that will just have to be ok.

[color:"red"] It could have been my child. It could have been yours. [/color]

Mary Helen's funeral is tomorrow afternoon.

{{Cinders}} I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you. My own daughter is 15. And I could have lost her last year. I can't imagine living through that.

Cinderella - My thoughts and prayers to the family. That is so tragic. I lost my own cousin to an accident when she was just 14. I know the family is devastated.

I know you didn't know her, but now my be the time to reach out to your cousin. All of us with teenagers feel this inside.

Take care...

Prayers to your family

Ritz

Today is the funeral. I need to leave in a few minutes.

This is dragging up so many FOO issues for me. I fell absolutely devastated. For my cousin and about the multigenerational disfunctionality in my FOO. And if my FOO is this messed up, I can only imagine what some people deal with.

It was a beautiful funeral. Church was full. She must have truly been a beautiful girl, inside and out.

But it brought up all my FOO issues - with my uncles, with my cousins, with my sister, with my father, with my mother. All my FOO stuff.

ON the way home, I stopped at my mother's (she didn't go with me, after all). We were talking - and the talk got onto the topic of my sister's anger toward me, my lack of anger toward sister, and how the powers that be did more damage by prosecuting my nephew than they did good. So, I got up and put my coat on when mom started blaming my daughter.

So, mom announced we probably shouldn't talk about it.....DUH!

And she went on and on about the whole mess. So, I told her that nephew was older and he had a mouth and feet - he could have said no and left, if indeed my d was enticing him. I haven't told mom some of the stuff my d has told me.

Then I announced that, by not telling me about her suspicians, she was guilty of failing to protect my daughter - her granddaughter. (My mother is a retired social worker. She should have known better.)

And I turned and walked out.

Maybe all the family I have is my children. Maybe I can't count on my mom to be there for me.

May I crawl in a hole and pull it in around me.

I haven't felt so alone in ages.

So sad.

So sad.

{{{{Cinderella}}}}

Cindy - maybe your mom will come around. Maybe she will open her eyes.

I have prayed for you and her.

far

I think I will leave her alone for a few days. She may not remember what happened last night or how long it has been since I walked out on her. I'm not sorry I stood up for myself. NOT THE LEAST BIT!

If she brings it up again, I will tell her that I will not discuss it and that, if SHE AGREES for me to set up counselor appt., I will set one up so that we may discuss it with a trained professional. Otherwise, I do not wish to have anything further said about it. I don't want to hear about my sister being angry. I don't want to hear anything about it.

It's pretty sad when all you want is for your mom to love you.

Someone in your family to love you.

Someone to hold you in their heart.

My mom hasn't been there for me emotionally since November. And she may not again. Maybe it is not safe for me to open my heart to her.

Cnderella, I'm so sorry to read about this awful loss. I hope God has opened His arms to embrace Mary Helen and that her family will be granted the grace to survive her loss.

I know the pain. It is so deep.

My mom has recently begun in last five years to be a mom. To love me and NOT yell at me like she did incessantly when I was a little girl. And to say that I am beautiful as I am...my mom was always pressing me to be the prettiest, the skinniest, the smartest, the most over achiever, the most awards, the most most most...well most.

And I always felt as though Ilet her down somehow. If I graduated college in my degree (very difficult) with a 3.4, and WAS NOT WEARING THE HONOR GRADUATE COLLAR...then I was not that great.

And sadly, I married a guy...who treated me like my mom...

Now I've healed things w/my mom. And she's worked on herself too.

It takes time.

And love and prayers. And soft words...which will turn away wrath.

But if in the end, you feel more peace loving her from afar, then you have to do it.

Hugs to you. (((cindy)))

Thanks, everyone for your kind words.

I really need them right now. I could never have imagined feeling so abandoned by my family. Can't believe it.

[color:" blue"]But, most importanly, please hold my cousins up in this crisis - [/b]
http://www.columbiadailyherald.com/articles/2006/02/16/obituaries/01mcmeen.txt
http://www.columbiadailyherald.com/articles/2006/02/16/top_stories/01mate.txt

My cousins get together almost every Sunday afternoon. I can't imagine how sad today's gathering will be.