This hasn't happened to me for sometime. Tonight, as I sit in my freezing house, the loneliness is just beating me down. It finally snowed yesterday and that's okay. I'm cold but hey, we should all be trying to save energy.

What's up with Grape?

1) Evidence of continued contact with OW.

2) Waiting for the counselor to call to arrange an appointment time for me. CH still hasn't found time to make an appointment for himself.

3) CH is playing money games.

4) CH leaves on his deluxe vacation/work trip next week.

So, there has been no movement towards any of the points outlined in my Plan B letter. My love bank is nearly empty. I know, I know, too much caring/knowledge of CH. Sometimes, you just can't help it. No matter what's happening between us, the bills still need to be paid, the kids educated and I'm the one keeping it together.

It's the depths of winter. As an optimist, I know there is the promise of spring. What will be different about the spring? What I'm seeing now is the same ole ship. I'm starting to feel the need for closure and change. That alone is depressing.

I'll think I'll make an early night of it. Maybe it's a Tylenol pm kind of night...

I like benadryl much better...

and if no benadryl..

hot tea and some tylenol pm added in for some kick! kinda like a hot toddy...

sorry you're feeling down!

Stay present, Grape. Don't even jump to Spring. Besides, the weather around here lately has been Spring like.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Protect yourself from information. You are keeping yourself together and living. Just living. More self-care, like that early night. Stop checking up on CH. Use that energy and thought time for you.

CH isn't home surrounded by his family, feeling well loved and full of integrity. You are. You rock. Your life is solid and good. Get darker. Protect your heart, even from your mind and its morbid curiosity.

You can do this. You're worth it.

LA

Any contact with CH is poisonous. This is why I like Plan B. I love be insulated from CH and his activities. Sometimes, things just break through. I don't even have to be very curious to get info. More like checking a bill for a credit card that I generally use and finding a charge near OW's house. Like trying to pay DS's tuition and finding CH has abscounded with the $.

It's been a busy week. Valentine's Day wasn't as bad as this. Maybe I'm just tired.

Grapegirl,

I totally empathize with your loneliness and depression. But we make it one day at a time. I am thinking I need to give plan b a whirl because I really could use some insultation from the hurt of WH. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> But anytime you are feeling down, what LovingAnyway said should give you comfort. You are the one that can sleep at night with your integrity, your family.....granted it is not as warm and snuggly, but in the end it is better.
And for those that dont know...the active ingredient in benedryl..diphenhydramine...is the pm in Tylenol pm. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Just thought I would throw that in there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Take care Grapegirl. ((((Hugs)))

Katie

Fatigue is no friend of emotions. Seems like the information emotions are giving you is all cross-wired when your body and mind wear down, huh?

I remember.

I didn't do Plan B...but I did seperate our finances during his affair. Can you do that? I had to close the main account (with H because he was primary) and set up my own. Got his paycheck directly deposited in it and then paid him (still do) once a month after adding up the bills and dividing it in two against his income; he got the remainder. Cancelled me off joint credit card. His bill went to him. He still pays his own.

This was really tough for me because financial support was a big EN and our joint accounts were a symbol of us in our marriage together. I got over it. LOL. I protected myself from his spending and that helped me to not resent him for his actions...he could no longer lovebust me financially.

:::wrapping a warm afghan around your shoulders:::

Nice of Katie to explain the drugs. I like knowing new things.

28 degrees? Cold. Really cold tonight.

LA

{{{{Grape}}}}

Hope these warm fuzzies are helping you a bit.....You know you are awesome. We love ya!!

Sometimes, I know, the lonliness of Plan B can be a bit much. But the darker, the better. I am so much happier not knowing what my WH is doing right now. Positive thoughts coming your way.....CATCH!!!

Kim

We're at 12 degrees right now and dropping. I've talked DD into an early night also. Definitely thank God it's Friday tomorrow.

BRRRRR!!!! We've had cold weather here, but nothing like that this year. We had a 68 degree day today, but more cold weather moving in for the weekend.

You guys have a good night - pile under lots of blankets!!

Kim

Grape, where do you live? I live in Texas and we are under a winter storm watch....havent seen one of them in months! Kind of looking forward to it. Going to go and get a stack of movies, stock up on snacks and me and the DD are gonna chill inside. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think it calls for snugglin under the blankies. Dont you??

Hope you're already getting some rest, GG. We're exactly under a winter storm warning tomorrow through the weekend. A yucky time to be sick (and we're all sick).

I'm sorry it was one of those days for you. I always post here when I'm having one of them, too. Even if I don't get any responses, it's helpful for me to go back and see how far I've come--and to remind myself that it really is a ton of ups and downs. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you. Fridays are great, aren't they?

Just keep insulating yourself from your CH's comings and goings the best you can. I'm not in plan B, but I still don't even know exactly where he lives, and I have no clue what he does. He got his own CC finally, so I'm oblivious to all charges--definitely better than when I would see $86 steak dinner charges, etc. He also put a security password on the cingular account, so I no longer stalk the cell phone usage online. It was his doing, but really one of the best things that he's done yet.

Just wanted to send my support your way.

intexas

InTexas...you in NE Texas?

Nope--central Texas--but the bad weather is coming this way, too.

Maybe it will be cold enough to cut down on our bug population for the summer. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Baby, it's cold outside! I live in Colorado and it's 6 degrees this morning. I'm leaving the shades down and the doggies in their crates while I'm at work. Yesterday, I turned on Animal Planet to keep them company since they're used to being outside all day.

{{GG}} I am sorry you are down. I pray things improve for you soon.

GG: You mentioned that WH is going off on his big trip. Is there anyway, finances permitting, that you can arrange a break for yourself? I went away with a couple of friends last November, just for 5 days and it was so wonderful to get away from all the A crap. I hope you feel better soon. TT