Caren - First off, what the heck were you doing up at 3 AM???? Geez lady, you are a bundle!

Luna - Thanks for your words of encouragement!! Much appreciate and I hope you are doing well. Your thread has always inspired me!



Caren - Gotta earn the bucks ya' know!! Just an update - no text messages or anything. I am perfectly fine going back into Plan B mode here and waiting things out. I really do try hard not to think about him - for the most part I am successful. If he is going to do anything, it will be a note tomorrow. I'm not going to expect one. Either way, my note clearly told him not to contact me until he ended the A. Of course, he continues to ignore that.



Hey, that is a great idea you have Caren about marking off the days. I will have to go find your thread & catch up with your sitch!! I know it's hard to make decisions about these darned WH's. I have found that if I just wait, come here & post I most likely stay on course. Heck, I might have even gone out with WH back in December if I hadn't come here!!!

Rookev - So I really believe I am doing pretty darn good!!! Mimi is describing this as a "negotation" stage. SH said that during this time there will be some back & forth as the WH is "showing sign" of moving away from the A. My H is not there yet, but has a smidgen of promise.



Thanks for that! I know the Lord is smiling on me already!! He has blessed me with so much and has given such a great sense of peace.

Best wishes to you ---

Kim

What was I doing up at 3am? Oh, you know.....no rest for the wicked and all that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Wasn't my post just earth shattering?? Yeah, big bunch of NOTHING to say...LOL!!!!!

I did mark the days on the calendar, but I counted yesterday as a day.....so I'm saying this is day 2, because...well because I want to...LOL!!!

I think that'll help me, because it honestly feels like I moved in here forever ago, and it hasn't even been 2 months.

I guess this all just seems like an eternity to me because in total I'm going on a year and 1/2. That's a long time with no husband (fully aware that a lot of people have gone much longer....but who are we kidding...I'm needy :P). The entire time, I've desperately wanted him back (again no newsflash...par for the course for a BS).

Oh well, such is life.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I'll tune in tommorrow and see what your WH has up his sleeve.

BTW, I also think this is negotiation. I mean it's obviously unsatisfying to him to communicate via the notes, he's basically begging for you to *talk* to him. I really do see the *H* trying to squirm free from the WH in him....that's why there is all the *new* stuff in the notes. Yes, he's trying to gain the control again, I agree with that.......but he's finding you are a tough nut to crack, and you're not letting him take control. I think he's coming around, and I don't see any benefit to cutting him off at the knees at this juncture, as he appears to be making progress.

I was thinking earlier what a STUPID statement it is for my husband to say "I'm not ready yet....." What the heck does that even mean? It made me mad, actually. He's not ready??? He's a 35 year old man, who's been married for 10 years and has a family......grow the he// up already!!!!! Not ready....that's a load of crap!

Seriously, that boy ought to come with a warning label!

Okay I'm done babbling <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

-Caren

Hi Kim.....just checking in.

Did prince charming pick up your DS yet??

God Bless,

-Caren

Hey Caren -

Thanks for checking in!



Caren, you really have been tough!! Make this Plan B, THE PLAN B. O.k?? You have go to do it this time!! I know you can!! Just keep marking those days off.

No note tonight. WH dropped DS off about two hours ago.....I kind of felt like there wouldn't be & really I don't want one unless it says "I HAVE ENDED MY AFFAIR."
(I will admit that I looked in DS's bookbag for one).

Onward & Upward!

Kim

No harm there....curiousity and all that.

Ugh, I'm too sick to even think, but have a good night <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

-Caren

LOL! Looking don't hurt, as they say!

But you're right: other notes are meaningless right now. As far as actions (not notes) go, the same is for me too. You know, WH didn't spend V-day at an intimate gathering for two with OW, he went away for a trip without her last weekend, the other day he let himself in here as if he still has a right to, but what does it mean? Until he gives the OW the kiss-off, a big fat NOTHING. Hang in there, you're doing just great.

Caren - feel better soon!!!

RiverTam - I hate that I looked, Plan B, Plan B, Plan B!!!!

But no problem, most likely a relief to not get a note. He needs to make some decisions here.

Glad your WH wasn't out with OW on V-Day. It is all still meaningless like you said. Dump the OW!! We want some action here!!

Man, it's late - Good night!

Kim

Hi Kim-

Just popping in to see what's up. I went to bed early, so I didn't know if anything new had happened....I didn't think so, but you know....anything to get my mind off of my problems...LOL!!!

God Bless,

-Caren

Oh Kim.....it's 9:20 pm, post already <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I always make sure to swing by your post when I get online, see how you're doing.

Things were, ummmmm interesting for me today...lol.

Okay, well I'll check back later chicky!

God Bless,

-Caren

Quick update - Really nothing has changed!

WH did send another note tonight(I guess he can't understand the concept of "don't contact me until the A is over".


Weird. More WH confusion. I know it's a waiting game here. I think he is very surprised that I did not rush to call him after the "love" letter he sent me last Sunday.

That's it really. I guess he is refusing to do what my Plan B letter asked at this point, so we are at a standstill.

Hi Caren - I just caught up on your thread. Mark knows way too much about what you are doing!!

Kim

Kim-

I know, I'm trying to think of a way to tell my daughter this....she's gonna flip out.

I understand the standstill concept.....better than I'd like to. LOL

I think that if he was in the car for 10 minutes, he probably wrote a much longer note, and then thought better of it, so you only got the bottom portion.

God Bless,

-Caren

...just dropping by to say: 'Hi, KIM'...

..... here in the 'fast lane' of PLAN B.... there is soooo much going on that I don't even know where to begin!..... so I won't.....

(((((((((((((((((KIM))))))))))))))))))))

Hi, Kim. Just checking in... hoping you've got something fun planned this weekend for you and DS!

Hello there Kim <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

What's shakin'???

God Bless,

-Caren

Hi --

Thank you all for stopping by! Thanks Luna, Caren and SadMommy! Hope all of you are doing well too!!

It's yucky rainy today!! Went to the Mall, returned a jacket.....Didn't do too much else.

Had a dream with WH in it last night.....I don't dream of him often AT ALL. So it was weird. I dreamt when he dropped DS off he came to the door and said that "It was over." So I let him in the house. We talked a bit & I asked him if OW knew where he worked now. About the time his cell rang & he got up to walk away to answer it. I followed him and said "What, is it OW. Show me!!" (I wanted him to show me the phone # coming through)

IT WAS!! I grabbed his arm and said "Have you told her it's over? Have you?" He didn't answer. Instead, he answered his cell. I said "You need to tell her now, that it's over." He didn't.

I screamed at him and said "Get Out!! Get out of this house! Don't come back here until you are done with your [email]d@m[/email] Affair"

I woke up with a headache and upset stomach. Yuk. Also feeling frustrated and wondering if I was doing the right thing by "waiting" on him to get over his A.

Today I read a devotional that said "Many times in our leives we will find ourselves in situations where we grow impatient or doubtful. It is during those times that it is most important to hold fast to the promises of God. God is always there, and He knows what is best for us in every situation. It is vital that we not turn to the right or left but stay steadfastly on the path that leads to God. If we will learn to do that, then the blessings of God will be ours in all circumstances."

I interpreted that to just stay on the path I am. Remain strong in Plan B. Continue my path back to God also. Trust in Him. I was not brought to this website by accident.

Kim

O.k. - this is strange. Second night in a row that I've had a dream with WH in it.

This time, I was out with friends. It was Sunday, his day to pick up DS. He called my friend and they talked and they the phone was passed to me. WH said that he was running late, was out of town & would be there to pick up DS in about another hour. I said O.K.

When he came to pick up DS, a note came in. It was the rest of the note that he had torn off from Thursday. It started out as "Kim, I Love You. I want this to work. I have always loved you......"

I don't know what the rest of the note said.....I either woke up or stopped dreaming.

This is so weird b/c I have not dreamed about WH since he's been gone. Maybe once, but that's it.

I don't believe I am thinking about him more. Perhaps I had gotten my hopes up last week with a reconciliation and now that things are quiet again my subconscious is taking over. Maybe it's because I know I can't control what he is doing in the real world....

The sun is shining this morning!!

Kim

Hi Kim,
Everyone has been having dreams lately! The sandman must be working over-time!!

Confused ---- Yeah, I'm just finding it so weird!!!

Well, now I need some more help!!!!

WH sent a note up when he picked up DS just now:

"Kim,


HELP!!!! Should I text him?????

Kim

Hmmmmmmmmmmm well Kim, this is one of these *negotiation* times I think.

He's trying to do what you need him to do, I think maybe he doesn't fully understand.

Do you think you can talk to him on the phone without sounding flat??(I have trouble with this one, I think I have a disappointed tone in my voice)

I think he may need a little direction.....can you write down what you need to know from him and call him?? Otherwise I think he's showing up at your door tonight.
(May be really hard to disguise your feelings face to face)

God Bless,

-Caren

Caren -

Right. I know for a fact I cannot talk to him face to face for a number of reasons. I am thinking of texting him:

"Do not come up. I will call u later."

or

"Can't talk at 7. I will call u later."

It has to be short.
A phone conversation will be difficult enough for me. And that's a good suggestion about writing down what needs to be said.

I'm all nervous and jittery now.

Kim