Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1594791 02/18/06 02:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
You both are dealing with an OC, am I correct in my memory? There are not too many men that post to the preg/child board but I do remember seeing both of you there on occasion. I am dealing with the reality of my WH having an OC with OW. How have you managed? Is it easier for you because you are raising and bonding with the child on a daily basis? Does the OM have C with OC?


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
K
K Offline
Member
K
Member
K Offline
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
Hi faithful.

In my case, the issue has been "easy" (a relative term) in that I have been raising that child (7 now!) and there has been no contact or interference from the OM. If there was an OP involved, I'd probably suggest that the BS be the intermediary and that the WS and OP have as little contact as possible.

K #1594793 02/18/06 03:10 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
K,

Could you give her the link to your story?

Faithful, he has a pretty amazing and inspiring story if you haven't seen it.

Nerlycrzy #1594794 02/18/06 03:22 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
K
K Offline
Member
K
Member
K Offline
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
K's Story

Just for nerly(who really isn't)crzy...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

K #1594795 02/18/06 03:31 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
quite a story, K. Yeah, nerly isn't crazy and she is a wonderful lady. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My WH's A has been two years this month with a few times that the A "ended" only to start right back up again. The OC is nearly a year old and I have not met him. OW is fighting tooth and nail for my H and many days I want to give up. I know other BS's love their OC but it is pretty difficult when you are not "allowed" to even meet him. Thanks for sharing your story. Your wife is a very lucky woman


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
K
K Offline
Member
K
Member
K Offline
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
You and your husband need to act as a team---if he's paying child support, he should have visitation, and the OW has nothing legally to say about it. If your husband isn't paying support, your situation is more difficult from a legal situation, and I would probably suggest that you legally pursue paternity and joint custody. It's expensive, but the alternative could be worse.

If your husband isn't willing to work together via the POJA, then I think I'd give him a plan B letter and show him the door. Let the OW have him for a while, and see how that works for him. If you're close to giving up, then you may have already waited too long for that---so give it some thought (especially if you and h aren't on the same page).

K #1594797 02/18/06 03:36 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
Quote
Just for nerly(who really isn't)crzy...


Don't tell my H that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

I have him convinced I'm really borderline so he's really watching his P's & Q's now!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

K #1594798 02/18/06 03:39 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
I'm like a yo-yo with wanting the M and not wanting it, KWIM? He does pay CS. He does not have legal visitation only C with OW at her whim. Paternity was never done legally he signed the BC at birth. I do see him trying hard to extricate himself but I am so on the fence these days about our future. Not sure I want the drama of an OW in my life forever and not sure I can ever trust my H. I have hung in there for a long time taking his crumbs and trying for our children to have a two parent home. I am sure I have done no one any favors by doing this. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I do believe him when he says he wants to be married to me and wants to end the A but I think he is too weak to do it.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 399 guests, and 68 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
ameliamartin, Nicholas Jason, daisyden878, Oren Velasquez, Kerniol
71,999 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by Oren Velasquez - 06/16/25 08:26 PM
Roller Coaster Ride
by happyheart - 06/10/25 04:10 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by risoy60576 - 05/24/25 09:12 AM
Advice pls
by Steven Round - 05/24/25 06:48 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,508
Members72,000
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0