The children are from my first husband that passed away. My daughter was only 3 when it happened. She only knows the one I'm married to now as her daddy. The OW emailed me their emails to each other, that's how I found out. When I confronted him, he said it only happened once, which was a lie, it lasted for 9 months. It was with someone who also is married that worked at the same place. The OW and her H went overses to work. I know there are still things that he is lieing about. The other woman has called and talked to me, which is about to get the best of me. He finally sent her a NC letter, but she keeps on emailing and calling. I do want our marriage to work, but until she is completely out of the picture, we can't move forward. We have been together for 4 years, and most of that time was a lie. I'm at the end of my rope on this one. I do see him trying, but it's like I can't right now until he tells me everything. Does this make any sence to anyone? I have read so much material that my eyes hurt. The one thing that has kept me here for the time being is my daughter, I don't want her to lose another daddy. She is 9 now and loves him dearly. I also have a 16 yr old son, which at this stage is being a typical teenager, doing his own thing. I do love my husband and want this to work, but I do know I have to try and work on this. I have days that I see him with her, only in my mind and I get so angry. I've done everything a wife is supposed to do. He is a diabetic and I stood beside him when he was in Intensive Care when his sugar went sky high, he almost died. In return to being a good wife, I get this crap.

Hon......do you have your full story posted somewhere?? If so link it here.

How long ago did you find out??

Did you expose to the OW's husband?

When did they move overseas?

I think that if you exposed to the OW's H, it would most certainly put some pressure on this thing, especially since there is this geographic distance between them now.

How old is your husband?

I ask that because you mentioned sticking by him when his sugar went sky high and he was in ICU......how long ago was that???

Not that what I'm going to say excuses ANYTHING, but sometimes a brush with death gets people thinking about their mortality...and oddly enough instead of focusing on what really matters (their family) they find a temporary fix and have and *A*.

Do you have any children together?

Please don't be discouraged by the lack of traffic here tonight......I saw that no one had responded to your post....and I wanted to make sure that I did. It's slow here in the middle of the night, and on the weekends....but have no fear.....posters will be out in full force tommorrow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm a weekend warrior <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I know that there are people with questions on the weekends, so I like to try to stop in frequently and see what's going on.

I remember ALL TOO WELL the sense of urgency that goes along with all of this, and I remember posting and then checking my post every 3 seconds to see if anyone had answered me....and starting to lose hope when they didn't.

I know everything seems like a life or death decision right now......just know that it only SEEMS like life or death... you WILL get through this, and with any luck you'll still be married <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


We can help you. We've all been where you are right now. We can sympathize, and we can also offer you insight that only someone that's gone through this can give.

Hang tough hon........someone else will be along to post, in the meantime, answer my questions as best you can.

God Bless,

-Caren

**Bump**

So far everything has been going great. I still have my guard up though. I don't want to let it down. It will take time for all of that to fall into place. My H understands, I think of the pain he has caused this family. He is doing everything that I ask of him. He also is reading alot of material. We talk about what we want out of life now and what we will be doing when we grow old. I just hope and pray it will continue to get better. I did let him know a mistake was only once and not 9 months. He had a blank look on his face and he admitted that he let it go that long and should of never stepped over the line. He has told the Ow it was a mistake and it seems she is the one who is still trying to get to him, and he emails me what he sends to her saying to leave us alone or he will file charges against her. she has sent several threating emails to both of us, but she is getting no where. I told her that she needs to get a grip on life and work on her marriage and leave us alone.

Can you get ahold of her husband? That would probably end this and he does need to know.

Also, I would suggest changing your email addresses and closing your current accounts.

Do you have any kind of spyware on your H's computer so you can watch your back and ensure contact has ended?