Hello --
I'm new to this board and I'm hoping to find some really good advice.
To put it in a nutshell --
I've been married to "D"H almost 7yrs and last night I tried to throw him out but he refused to leave!
Background:
he has 2 sons that live w their mother (ages 13&14) -- hubby has always said I'm the wicked stepmother. He tries to be the 'disney world dad' and buy them lots and lots and lots and lots but tries to hide it from me. Well, we went away for the weekend and came home last night and I was going thru the mail and was opening bills and accidentally opened his cr card stmt! Guess it was a good thing I did. He had charges on there that he had lied to me about. 14 yr old was having trouble w his paintball gun (frm his mother's house) and good ole' dad decided to take it to the shop, but DSS was gonna be the one to pick it up and pay for it w Mom when it was repaired...... Well, DH picked it up and paid for it LAST MONTH! It was on his stmt. Last week, he told me it was still at the shop! LIES! apprx $250 and now he says DSS is gonna repay him a little at a time + DSS already owes DH for a cell phone that was replaced without my knowledge!
DH is a spender.... he has brought home MANY new vehicles without my consent, spent $$$$ on the kids, spent $$$ on his cr cards, but he never seems to be able to look ahead to the future to figure out how he's gonna pay for this stuff!
On that same cr card stmt was another chg for a large item that he had told me he was considering and he had kept on trying to talk me into agreeing that we needed it. I never agreed that we needed it -- well, he was still trying to talk me into it, but he actually made the purchase on Feb6!'
More Lies!!!
I told him to get his stuff and get out! He refused! I started packing for him (a lot was still packed from the wkend trip) but he refused to leave. Now, it's my house, my grfather made me agree that if I ever remarried, I'd have the hubby sign a prenupt so I'd never lose my house (it used to be my grparents!) Thank God!
I tried to call the police, he jerked the cordless phone from my hand and I grabbed my cell phone and called my parents who live up the road. He said ' you won't get them, because they are at church'
Well, mom answered and yes, they were at church. I told her I needed help getting my hubby out of the house! She and dad were there within 10 min. After they got there, the preacher called to ck on things.... he showed up also! so we had a counciling session in my living room. I told them I was tired of always being lied to -- 7+ yrs worth and I wantd him OUT! Everyone tried to convince me that was not the answer!
Hubby has lost 3 jobs in the last year and each job since then has been a loss of over $10K yrly!! So, in the last yr, he's gone from $6oK to $30K -- now, I know lots of people live on that and we could too, IF his spending would STOP! His CC were suposed to be in the safe dep box (where mine is - and I've pd mine off to under $100) but when the new cards came in, he got them and has been using them!!
I've tried making him pay the bills each month for the approx 4 last months... he says he sees that there is not enough $ to go around, but it hasn't slowed him down,,,he's still spending and lying about it.
Yes, I do work also/ I've been at the same secure job for 9yrs and thanks to me, we have medical coverage -- because he lost that too!
Well, in conclusion, preacher and parents 1/2 way convinced me to let him stay at the house w me last night but he could stay in a sep bedroom (in the kid's room) -- it was a very quiet night.
Preacher has said he's looking for us some financial counciling and will call me and DH both today w info. We went thru this last year and attended the counciling for appx 3 mo till his job interfeared.
I'm at the end of my rope!
I can not trust him --
I've given him the benefit of the doubt soooo many times and soooo many chances -- but it always comes back to the same things.
I hope this makes sense!
I'm open for advice/
thanks in advance
"TroubleNParadise"
