Hi. I want to thank everyone that takes the time to read my post. I really appreciated it. Okay. I am 26 years old and married almost 6 years with 3 great kids. I love this man with all my heart. Really. I have been diagnosed bibpolar which I have stopped taking my meds but I am back on them. Also 5 years ago I lost all my hair with alopecia totallis. So I have been so depressed. I gained alot of weight and have no self esteem. Well it began in December of 2005. My husband and I work completely opposite shifts (for about 3 years) we have no time to see each other and I was getting frustrated with his friends being over every night. I work overnights and it didn't effect me except that going to work when all these people are having fun is hard...life I know.. I would leave at 10 and he would get home at 9:45 and people would start showing right afterwards. I felt like he never had time to miss me like I missed him. So we only had the weekends to see each other and it never worked out. Between, kids sleep, friends and erronds it usually came to be a fight. I would tell him that I needed time anything. Begged fought whatever it took to get his attention. Well finally abotu 2 weeks before x-mas I just said I want a divorce. I couldn't believe I said it. I didn't want it. I was so mad angry desperate to catch his attention. It hurt him bad, I know even though he didn't really show it. He wrote me an e-mail saying he would spend any time I needed with me and that he loves me and will find a place and respect that I made this choice. The next day I told him I am sorry I didn't mean it it was out of anger. Well 2 weeks later he uped and left. Moved out 12-30-05.(my daughters b-day) He said that I don't love him respect him or treat him good that he is not in love with me and wants a divorce. It was a shock I didn't know it was this bad seriously. I thought alot since he was gone about things he said and I see where he is coming from....don't always agree with it but I see it. I know at times I was mean and hurtful. He don't want to talk about it and says he don't want to fix it. I don't believe that. Or don't want to believe it. Anyway, since he was gone I moved. I am off work. I started to tan, wearing a wig(sometimes..not completely confident with it on or off for that matter) and makeup. He notices makes little comments like you never did that when we were together. I joined a gym today and plan on starting to work on myself. I love him to death and tried talking to him about us and it turns negative everytime. I really want him to come home and would do anything it took to prove he is my hero. Last week I asked him to have sex and he did and came back over just for sex yesterday. I don't know if that is good or not. But I want to feel him close touch him smell him....I miss him. Does anyone else know what I can do to show him I care and want him back before it goes to the 'big d'. I try hard not to call him anymore but it is so hard. He don't call very often. Usually we talk about kids. I have about a week ago told him I love him and want him to come home asked if he missed me or loved me and he completely ignored what I said. Than a day later he said yea I miss you but the person I fell in love with not you. He loves me but not in love with me. Anyway, I am lost and don't know what to do. I want him to come home so bad, but only if it is something he wants. Any advice before it gets to late and the divorce comes. Neither of us have filed yet but he says he is going too. Thank you again for anyone that reads this and thanks again for any advice. mothertucker43@yahoo.com

how about counseling, do either of you believe in God.......if so, I suggest you see that type of counselor....you have got to rely on some guidance from some where...........

i asked him and he says no to counsiling. i do go by myself to a therapist though. thank you.