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I am thunderstruck. D-Day was one year ago, and WH has constantly maintained that there is no C with OW other than C that is necessary for work. Fast forward one year and I just discovered there is still C (from OW, at least) with expressions like "I missed you the other day, etc.) I need to launch Plan B. Here is my plan, to be implemented at once: Expose to OW parents. Expose to WH's family. Write Plan B letter. Can anyone point me to a solid Plan B letter that I can use as a guide?
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
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Don't forget to get your finances in order....and consult an attorney about freezing your marital assets.
Dear ________,
I love you and I married you for life. I want to remain married to you. I am willing and committed to doing what it takes to be the spouse you've always wanted and to address the things that I did wrong in our marriage.
The affair/neglect/abuse is so painful for me that it will destroy the love I have for you. In order to protect those feelings I must end all contact with you. As soon as the affair/neglect/abuse is over I would love to talk with you about our future. Until that time please respect my wish for no contact whatsoever in any form.
In an emergency you can reach me through ______. Arrangements for seeing children and handling finances are_____.
Sincerely,
[YOUR NAME]
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,823
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Not bad Starfish <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
I couldn't think of a link for a Plan B letter, so I didn't post. I did however want to get this back up top......sooooooo BUMP!!!
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Thanks Star*Fish and Caren - I had to get off-line quickly, b/c WH came home. I am so heartbroken. The silver lining is knowing that I can come here for help. The support I have gotten here has been wonderful, and I really, really appreciate it.
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Joined: May 2005
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No advice. Just hugs (((stungalong))).
I am in a very similar sitch. Thought we were in R, but something was just not right. When WH moved out, I had strong suspicions that the A was back on, so was not overly shocked to find him with her again/still, but, was incredibly devastated nonetheless. Knowing that we were supposedly in "recovery" and that he was lying to me all that time (and still is)....hurts more than I can say.
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Joined: Jun 2005
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((((Improving))))
Thanks, Improving. I am sorry to hear about your WH as well. Deep down, I know it is part of the script, but I just kept hoping, as I imagine you did, that things would be different. Sigh. I had hoped to avoid Plan B, but it must be done. Good luck to you on this unfortunate ride. Stung
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Does anyone have an opinion on whether a modified Plan B could work - i.e. contact only regarding a child? Our DD has a chronic illness, and I can't imagine how difficult it will be to implement a Plan B with no contact when we have to juggle hospital and Dr. visits, medical decisions, etc. Any thoughts? Could WH and I email regarding these issues? I guess I have forgotten the principles behind Plan B. Thanks - Stung
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Joined: Jan 2001
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Plan B vs family obligations are NOT the same. Id your requirements. My plan B included communication regarding 3 items: $$, mail and child visitation. WS wanted to talk more, I asked for full recovery (including NO OW in MY LIFE), he couldn't do it, showed him the door or hung up. I craved communication with him.....came here and posted up a storm. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> That was my alternative therapy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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