Ever since I knew that she was interested in me, I've tried to do everything I could to please my wife. We've been together for the most part of 15 years (married almost 10). We have 3 kids of 8, 10, 14. I love her more than I could explain. The problem is this, we have had financial issues throughout most of our marriage. I mean we make enough money to get by, but through lack of discipline on both of our parts, we have built up a huge amount of debt. On top of that, over the past 5 years, I filed my taxes and didn't file hers. With the refunds that WE recieved, WE always did things for the family or her. She feels that I betrayed her by not filing her taxes for her, and I agree that I was wrong for not doing so. She was aware that they weren't filed for 3 years, but not 5, so she says that she doesn't trust me anymore. My issue is, prior to the tax thing even coming out, we had a big blow up before that and she said that she didn't want to be married to me anymore. She says that it was because I haven't provided enough for the family(we rent our house $1300, and have $1000 dollars worth of car notes). My job isn't the best but I can't find a job that pays me what I make now and if I take a pay cut, we wouldn't even be able to afford what we have. I already work 2 jobs, and also work in my church, volunteer for my sons' sporting events, and was trying to give her my attention as well. Before the big blow up, the problem was, I didn't pay her enough attention, so I had quit my second job and was doing everything that I could to let her know that she was #1 to me(cuddling, flowers, sex, talking). I guess what I'm trying to get at is, it seems like it's always something that I'm not doing. I listen to her tear down my brother for not being around for his kids, and my father wasn't there for me growing up, so that is a priority for me. But, with us needing more money, I do have to work. It's just so hard to juggle everything. We had the big blow up the last week in August. That's when she took off her wedding ring and hasn't worn it since. She has been emotionally detatched since then, and on January 16th she asked me to leave the home. She said that her doctor(not counselor) told her that it would be best, since she was suffering some "physical problems" as a result of her "emotional stress." I have always done what I could to make things easier for her, so regretfully I left. Now the thing that has always been the most important to me(my family), has been taken from me. It's been over a month now, and when I see my kids (maybe twice a week) it's great until I have to drop them off at "home". I've been willing to accept my fault in all of this. I understand that I haven't met some of her emotional needs, but she hasn't budged in 5 months. Anytime I try to tell or show her that I want to work this out, she turns a deaf ear. I can go on and on, but I want someone to read this so I'll stop here. What can I do to get through to her that she is my everything? Is there anyway that I can find out what is really eating at her?
BTW - Her taxes have been filed, I am still working 2 jobs, I gave her a single rose, cooked her a Surf N Turf dinner, and burned her a DVD of our wedding album for Valentines Day. The check from my first job is directly deposited into HER checking account.
