Here is some background- Married at 18-h 18 also. Three children 15-almost 16, 12, and 8. I divorced him after three years of marriage. Divorce lasted 5 monthes before we were remarried. That was 11 years ago.
Two years ago, out of the blue husband decided he loved me like the mother of his children, not a wife. Went to counseling for a short time and he decided he wanted it to work. We sold our house, bought a very expensive one, two new cars and a boat. In december, went to his Christmas party and he had too much to drink. Another woman was hanging all over him and he liked it. Went home and fought. He told me he didn't love me anymore. We decided to try, but he did not know if he wanted it to work. He started counseling to try to work on his issues. In January, things were seeming no better and he announced he wanted to move out. He had a work convention and was going to Las Vegas for 5 days, I said I would go visit a friend out of state for 8 days when he got home so that he could have a break. (He used to travel alot and said he remembers when he used to miss me and he wanted that back).
While he was in Las Vegas, I checked his cell phone records and found out the girl at the Christmas party and he had a phone relationship since October, spending about 5 hours a day on the phone. She lives in a different state. There was never a physical relationship between them- just emoitonal. I called hima and told him if he wanted our marriage to work he needed to come home immediately. He did.
The phone conversations have basically ended, she works with him and so they cannot completely end, but I do know that he keeping it on a completely professional plane. I have spoke with her and am comfortable with the situation.
We are now at the point that we are starting to resolve the matters. He still does not know that he loves me like a wife, but I have faith that that will come in time. My problem is that he cannot seem to forgive me for the divorce 12 years ago. He has been harbouring resentment all of this time.
His Dad is a minister and he is a Christian. He says he can now see us being together in the end, but won't guarantee it, I think , just from what he has said, that he won't say more because of outr past. He wants this dealt with and not "swept under the rug". But, how does he rid himself of the anger he has at me so that he can forgive me. He truly is a good man and I love him- but I need help in getting him to understand that I truly am sorry.
He says he wants a true love- he would die for me in the past, and still would, but he is not so sure I would die for him.- His quote form last night. We are in counseling, I would just like to know if anyone out there has had a similiar issue with forgiveness and how they got the other spouse to trust them or vice versaa. Thanks so much
