First a small threadjack (FNCJ holds this thread hostage)
"Hi, GDP! Good to see you, my old friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />" (FNCJ waves at GDP in a friendly, wild west greeting)
Now, I shall return to our regularly scheduled thread (FNCJ releases the thread and the hostage runs for it's life).
Lexxxy, you ask some interesting questions! Let's review:
Any thoughts on what the difference is between infatuation and love?
Is it the amount of time you've dated?
Is it when the giddiness goes away?
How do you know when its changed from infatuation to love?
How long can a person stay infatuated?
I had a stimulating discussion with my sweetheart about this because it seems to me like this is kind of a common misconception. Frankly, I was curious to see if my honey shared my views or if we disagreed--and thankfully we are in agreement! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
I personally believe there is a major difference between infatuation and love. "Infatuation" is based on ME and what the object of my crush can do for ME..."love" is based on a decision and a choice, is based on HIM and what I decide to do for HIM. So in my mind, infatuation focuses on my EN's being met, and love focuses on meeting his EN's. I do not really think that infatuation gradually changes into love as they are really two very different things!
As I see it, two people are initially attracted to each other based on EN's--and for example, with my BF he was able to quite naturally meet many of my top 5 EN's and I was able to naturally meet many of his top 5 EN's...so our lovebanks felt REALLY full and it was in our natures to do so. This might be called infatuation because there's that initial attraction and chemistry thing going on. (However, I have to confess something. I'm not a youngster, and thus, my idea of infatuation as a younger adult was more "physical attractiveness" oriented, and now that I'm older it's more "intellectually stimulating, funny, and a great companion" oriented.)
Anyway, so to start with, I found him fun and attractive and intelligent, and probably at first my lovebank was overflowing...thus the "infatuation" giddiness and fluttery feelings. As time went by and I really got to know him, I began to respect and admire him more and more, and that original blazing flame of "infatuation" became more of a warm hearth of respect and admiration. The attraction stuff never has gone away, but it deepened--and at a certain point a conscious DECISION was made to make the effort every day to protect, care for, and honor this man.
THAT is love.
Love is a verb--an action. It is a daily choosing and decision to protect, respect, honor and care for another person...to commit to another person even though they are grouchy, have stepkids, have personal issues from their previous marriage or their FOO (family of origin). It is that daily DECISION to love that is love.
Soooo, nope, it doesn't matter how long you've dated, or when the giddiness goes away. For me, that fluttery feeling of infatuation does not completely go away, it just mellows a bit into THRILL upon seeing him or hearing him. But LOVE is the choice to commit...and it's made every day.
FNCJ
