Well, he was almost 6 hours late home from work today, telling me he had a big meeting with his boss and coworkers. In the last few weeks, he has been several hours late about 4 times, with similiar stories. So this time, I called his boss, and there was no meeting. So I calmly asked where he really was, and it turns out he had breakfast with 2 coworkers, one of which collaberated his story. But for 6 hours??? And why the fake story about the big meeting? This turned into a huge fight because of my "prying" rather than his lying. He said he was moving out, so I was going to go downtown to see if I could get some kind of assistance in paying the rent until I can get more work. But I didnt' have enough gas so I was going to take our truck. He didn't agree. He tried taking the keys from me, and ended up wrestling me down in the middle of the street, and finally ripping them out of my hand. It really cut me up bad because I had my finger through the ring. So here I'm bleeding all over the place and scaring the kids. He had already called our landlord and said he wanted off the lease, and when I said I was going to talk try and get public assistance on the rent, she said her parents (the owners) won't work with that agency, too much red tape. So he changed from I'm leaving, to you get out. So I'm supposed to load up all the kids and go where? I guess I'll take them to their dad's again, but I have no idea where to go. Oh, and by the way, he finally admitted to it being him on the internet dating sites, not his friend, for those of you who remember some of my first posts. Like I didn't know..

You need to hold your ground and go to public assistance in the morning. They can find a place for you and your children - your husband can pay them back.

(((((((((((sutherlandgirl))))))))))))))

Post deleted by Cherished

thank you guys.. I need those hugs so much!!! (me bawling my eyes out)

I think I would make a police report too. He is taking risks with your baby by wrestling with you.

First of all, a big hug of comfort for you (((Sutherland)))

Your WH did not just wrestle you, he wrestled your child too. This cannot ever happen again. Whatever you are willing to accept for yourself in this marriage, please consider what you are willing allow your sweet baby to endure.

Your sig line says you have only been married a short time. Look at what has happened in that period.

I am so concerned (and outraged) over what could have happened to your baby.

PLEASE take the proper legal action and stop him from ever being allowed to hurt either of you again.

I'm just so tired...

Oh, Sutherlandgirl... (((hugs)))

Retreat, retreat, retreat! You MUST remove yourself and your children (including your precious unborn baby) from danger. It is exhausting, no doubt, in every possible way, but you must gather up just enough strength for this one act of protection, love, and respect for you and the children.

Post deleted by Cherished

You are right. There is no point in trying to "prove" to him that he is lying. He already knows that he is lying. And if he is going to throw away a marriage because I refused to go along with him lying to me, then so be it. But he isn't just throwing away a marriage and walking away, he is furious and violent about me catching him in his lies. That's so much more than a WH who has an affair, then realizes what he's done and has to lose, then comes back to his wife begging for a second chance. I'm really starting to think that there is something pathologically wrong with him! I've been reading about narcissistic personality disorder, and it really seems to fit him. So logically, knowing all this, why does it still hurt soooooo bad??? Why do I still hope for him to come home to me and just hold me? Just because of the happy mirage that our life used to be? The truth is that that mirage only lasted about 3 months, which is textbook for NPD. Narcissists are only able to keep up the charming facade for 2-3 months. Yet it still hurts..

I want to start by saying KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!! I know it can be devestating to deal with issues like these especially being pregnant. You have to make the step to get you and your children in a safe place. At least that would be one less thing for you to worry about. Contact Social Services in your area. They should be able to assist you.

Things will get better as long as you keep praying and believing in God. He may not come when you call him, but he is always on time. I will pray for you and your children.

Blondie33

well after a long sleepless night, I'm trying to figure out my next move. I can maybe go to a womens shelter, and take my kids to their dad's. I hate to leave my home, but maybe they can help me in devising some kind of plan for the future. i'm so lonely and just need a hug from someone, anyone. I don't have my mom, dad, or sisters as any kind of support and that was just one more thing that H was alble to use against me yesterday. That I've ruined those relationships too, just like with everyone else I come in contact with. I don't think it's all my fault with all these other people in marriages but obviously something I'm doing is way wrong for me to be so alone and uncared for at 33 years of age. My ex said he will take the kids for now, but was somewhat perturbed because it interferes with him and his new girlfriend, the "light of his life". Then he goes on to tellme all the romantic wonderful things they do together, that I used to dream of and beg for him to do with me. it opened up yet another wound to hear all taht last night. I feel so targeted for venom right now. i am trying to understand my part in this, because I must somehow attract it or at least allow it, if not actively cause it. I don't know how to get through today. I haven't slept well in weeks. tormented by nightmares, and yet still trying to hold it together for the kids sake. I want desperately to be able to calm down and think with a rational mind. I worry aabout all the stress and it's affect ont he baby. But I don't know how to do all this on my own. I'm lost and afraid, just like back to my original post on this board, where i was advised to get an annulment. I really wish I had listened to that advice, because maybe by now my life and my raw painful bleeding heart could have started to heal by now. (let alone my hand) I think I have a few hours before he shows up here to get out, I'm going to try and get a little sleep, and then pack some things to go where? I wish I knew.

Post deleted by Cherished

Thank you.. I'm trying. He called and has given us 2 hours to get out. I'm going to take the kids to their dads. I don't know where to go. My H keeps saying to call my dad for help. But my dad is a stranger to me. I've only seen him about 10 times in my life. I'm more afraid to call him for help than anything else. So H says if I refuse to ask my family for help, then go to a homeless shelter for all he cares. That's probly what I'll do. Why do I still wish he cared though?? on the phone, I said it scared me that he could have hurt the baby yesterday, and he replied "see what you make me do". I'm so sad!!!!!!!!

Post deleted by Cherished

Why haven't you called the police? You cannot be evicted from your home without due process and that takes weeks/months.

Good Lord - where are you? If you are close I will come get you... I am in Maryland...

Thank you all so much for your support and caring! I wanted to let you know that i am safe. I went to social services who basically told me it would take 9 months to get help with housing. But then one of the ladies saw my hand and asked about it. She immediately directed me to a womens' shelter for victims of domestic violence. I got there and was welcomed with open arms. THey only have room for me, not the kids. But I will take the kids to their dad's tomorrow. I was just too exhausted today to make the 2 hour drive, so they gave me vouchers for a hotel room, dinner and even gas. At the hotel they work with, we've been treated so kindly and at the restaurant, i had tears in my eyes the whole time. We can stay here tonight and then tmr I can move to the shelter. They said they can have me in a house within a month, where I can bring my kids back to. Then after the baby is born they will help me with a job. Also, help me with legal stuff, about the divorce and baby. So although my heart is still bleeding inside of me, and I still miss the a**hole, I feel as if a huge weight is off me. I'm starting to look at my feelings for him as an addiction. A craving for something that is toxic to me. I will check in again when I can. Thanks again so very much everyone..

Hey, Sutherland...

Good to know you're safe and you know others care for you, just as you are.

Now, about filing that police report...

Why do you exempt your H from the consequences of his own actions?

"Facing Love Addiction"...I'll give you my copy, 'k?

Big hugs...

LA

I'm glad you are safe. They can usually hurry up a place to stay in an emergency. Now get some counseling and stick to some boundaries. This was not okay for him to do.