I am in a pickle here...My XH is still a..well, you all know what he is...nothing has changed in that department.....however it is affecting the care of my children while they are in his posession...for one thing, he does not remind them to brush their teeth...the 5 and 7 y/o's still need help with this task...and another thing he does not bath them...when they came back this past time,they told me they didn't have to take a bath at daddy's house or brush their teeth....OKAY!!!!!

THe other thing he is not doing is administering their meds...One is diagnosed Bipolar and the other has ADHD...he has told me he will not take them out in public because they are so awful...

ok, here is the thing...he has not paid me any CS or alimony that was court ordered as of Nov 1.... I have filed an order for contempt...Here is the kicker..he claims to be running low on funds...HOWEVER he bought a NEW CLINIC on Jan 7 and a brand new Excursion in January as well...not to mention he was on the 5:00 news boasting his new clinic and how many patients he brings in...OK...so he buys a clinic and a new car, but fails to pay court ordered CS in order to do this..

OK, the meds...he does not agree with the medication the kids are on, so he just doesn't give it to them...the judge gave him the right to take them to any DR of his choice for another opinion, did he do it? NO

He lies so much and he believes his lies...He does one thing and claims another...He said he "values every minute with is children"

is that why he had OW watch them for 2 weeks at xmas so he could work all day and night...is that why he is continually late picking them up on Fridays' and didn't evenshow up on one of those friday's because he "FORGOT"...and when aske about it, he admitted he was too busy and "FORGOT"...

I am at a loss as to what to do anymore...this man is amazing...he is late every single time...has no respect for me or those kids...does not bath them...refuses to let them go to their extracurricular activities...he's absolutely amazing...

OH btw...I got a job...start tomorrow...am inschool full <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />time and doing well...

Moving-

Well...I don't know what you can do. Will you go in front of a judge when the contempt thingy comes up?? If so you can tell the judge that he also isn't giving them their meds.

Can you coach the kids on how important it is to brush their teeth?? Send travel toothbrushes/toothpaste with them and tell them they need to brush morning and night....get them some kind of fancy toothbrush they'll wanna use if need be....don't let them use it until they go to Daddy's. As far as bathing....if he's not doing it that's not really something I think they should handle on their own....so you'll probably just have to get them back stinky. Just make sure they're freshly bathed before he get's them, then bathe them when they get home...that certainly won't kill them.

As far as him picking them up late. It's really disrespectful to you, but I don't think there's much you can do about that either.

I'm sorry, this has to suck for you. I hope things get better.

Congrats on your new job and school though hon!!! You go girl!!

God Bless,

-Caren

No doubt about it, drag his butt back into court ASAP! Judges usually take a dim view of folks who think their ORDERS are "mere suggestions" that don't have to be followed.

You obviously can't reason with your ex-H and you have to fight for your kids' safety and health with all the legal resources at you disposal. The Courts have "teeth." You don't. Let the "guard dogs" protect you and the children.

God bless.

How can a man smart enough to become a doctor be so dumb? Or maybe it's just plain ol' arrogance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Yep, haul his butt back into court and let the judge (not you) explain the following to him:

(From the Texas Attorney General's website)
"What if the non-custodial parent gets behind in child support payments or refuses to pay?
If a non-custodial parent does not pay child support, he or she is subject to enforcement measures to collect regular and past-due payments. The Child Support Division uses many techniques to enforce child support orders, including:

* requiring employers to deduct court-ordered child support from the non-custodial parent's paycheck through wage withholding;
* intercepting federal income tax refund checks, lottery winnings, or other money that may be due from state or federal sources;
* filing liens against his or her property or other assets;
* suspending driver’s, professional, and hunting and fishing licenses; and
* filing a lawsuit against the non-custodial parent asking the court to enforce its order.

A judge may sentence a nonpaying parent to jail and enter a judgment for past due child support."

So, what's he gonna do with that fancy new clinic if the State of Texas suspends his medical license? And, think what it'll do to his credit rating if the state attaches liens to his new house, new Excursion, and whatever other property he personally owns! And, how is he gonna pay for all his toys if the judge decides to lock his butt up? Yep, just 'cuz he's a doctor doesn't mean he's all that smart! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Like I said, let the judge explain all this to him. He wouldn't listen to you, and letting the judge do it keeps you from getting into any more drama with him.

I am seeing my lawyer today so we can respond to HIS lawyers ridiculous letter of why he hasn't paid any CS...she says because Jan is a really slow month for Dr. idiot...most of his patients are medicaid/medicare and bla bla bla...OK...so that gives him to right to just flat out not pay for CS and alimony and do whatever he pleases...

that is just it...this man seems to like to make his OWN rules...

I have to get going here, but will update you all today and look for more responses...he's just amaziing..

thanks for responding yall!!!

It may make interesting for the news to report deadbeat Dr., owner of new clinic...not paying CS. I could see you now being interviewed. Oh well, I guess you wouldn't want to do that as it might be biting the hand that, a...doesn't feed you.

I was thinking the same thing about - the news reporters might be very interested in that someone can afford to open a new clinic, but somehow cannot support his children!

But really, go through the courts. Does your state have a deadbeat parent list?

>Does your state have a deadbeat parent list?

THEY SURE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MF4M - he's gone from sleezy to lousy...and I can spot a louse from SAT!!!!!!!!! I hope you taped that spot on the news so the judge can see how "broke" he is.

Hugs dearie. Come visit soon.

(and I'm so freaking proud of the person you are now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

- Kimmy

Just doing some catching up on old threads.

I don't think it is a valid argument to say that Dr. Nasty can afford to open a new clinic, and therefore that means that he has lots of money. He could well argue that starting up the new clinic has cost him a ton of money, and that's why he's broke.

BUT, he made a choice to spend his funds on the new clinic, instead of paying his CS. I think that is a point that is much easier to win.

AND, that new car thing....piece of cake in court.

He has NO EXCUSE to not pay for his children's upbringing, NONE whatsoever.

MF4M: Question: I have to assume that TONS of people saw you guys on Dr. Phil, and know the story of Dr. Ed (the narcissist, I'm SURE of it...I'm married to one). Has that impacted his reputation in your community? Has it affected his ability to strive for business success?

(I would have thought it would have affected him bigtime...but he's opening up a new clinic, and now I have to wonder).

I scratch my head over the fact that he is NOT paying. His noteriety over the show, and the risk that his continuing run of being Father Of The Year - NOT becoming public, would make him take on his responsibilities. Not so much because he wants to do the right thing, but because NOT taking on his responsibilities could come back and bite him in the butt.

However, upon reflecting my last comment, a narcissist tries to be "supplied" with attention anyway they can, both bad and good, matters not to them. Maybe that is why he was so willing to go on national tv and make a royal [censored] of himself.

MF4M, you are well rid of this man. I know how you tried. I saw how your self-esteem went into the toilet while you tried to deal with the chaos he created. His OW (did I hear he married her?) can deal with him now, for better for for worse. You can now breathe.

Hi MF4M. I've been reading your thread here and in Divorced. CJ gave you some great advice. This could be the best your XH can do. Put your time towards documenting what's going on. The one thing you can depend upon is that he will neglect them. My heart goes out to the poor little girl living in that household. Does OW have a clue about caring for her?

When it comes to meds, what do your kids' teachers think? Since starting my job with high needs kids, I have a very different opinion about kids and meds. I have one ADHD kid that I can tell the minute I walk into his classroom whether he had has his meds or not. (We suspect that perhaps his mother takes them as they are in stimulant in adults.) For this kid to not have his meds is very distruptive to his schooling. He can't pay attention, can't work, and acts out. I also spend time with some bi-polar kids. When they aren't on their meds, they cannot work. We literally peel them off the walls. I don't think every kid needs meds but some definitely do.

Interestingly enough, many of these kids' parents don't see it as a problem when their kid doesn't have his pill. The pills are expensive or they forgot or the new prescription can't be filled for a couple weeks. So what, they don't have to deal with them at school. A lot of times, these are also the parents who don't provide a lot of structure for their kids either. That would be rules about behavior, toothbrushing, appropriate TV viewing and video game playing. Some parents just don't seem to realize that the time and caring you invest in your kids pays itself back many times.

Have your kids' needs and conditions been addressed by your school system? As a parent, you can ask for an evaluation, testing and have meetings with all the people concerned with your childrens' education. If the teachers think lack of meds is a problem, that's one of the biggest tools you can have.

Soon enough, your boys will be old enough to decide which parent they want to spend their time with. Guess who that will probably be?

Another thought, are you or your kids' teachers noticing any difference when the kids are off their meds? That might be an indication how much they are needed. There ARE a lot of kids on meds these days. Your little men have been through alot in the past year. Maybe the diagonosis is skewed by that. Always good to have a double check.