my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 mounths now, I know some of you are going to be saying well your moving a little quick. but Im a very hard person just to get to know, and to go out with takes alot more. I don't start a relationship with someone unless I know that they want to try to be with me for a very long time I know relationships don't work out and that is why I shy away from them till I know that there's a chance it'll last.
I meet my GF at my appt. one day when one of my good friends was parting at my appt. I took him home (1/2 mile away) and he some how found his way back to my block and my GF ran into him who had been good friends with him as well. he told her that he was going to my appt. and they both came to my door she had told me that my friend was looking for his car. I decided that he wasn't sober enought to drive so I walked him and her to his car and drove them both to his house and walked home.
My GF lived in my appt. building (4 occupants) and she started coming over to hangout with my friend, and my GF and I became good friends. MY GF was a good friend even when my friend wasn't there she started comming over to just hang out, to the extent that I would decline outings with friends at certin times to be at my appt. when she would get home from work and such things. after seeing her flirt with many people at my appt. knowing that she was very sexually active. I was not truned off, or distanced from her though I didn't aprove of her actions but being singal she could do what she pleased.
And all the people that she flirted with, she hadn't act on any feelings for me even when we were alone we usually just sat and talked. over this time I learned a great deal about her and she of me. Then one day it just happened she was sitting next to me watching a movie and she fell asleep on my shoudler. for about a week after that we just sat together talking watching more movies then usuall.
then one of her I guess you could say intamint friends had called and asked her if she wanted to go to a club and she had declined(for the first time) because she was hanging out with me, overhearing I said I would go if she wanted and she told him maybe. she got off the phone with me and explained her relationship between them two and ask if I was ok with it. I was suprised that she was thinking of my feelings because we weren't formally dateing, which touched me deeply. so we went and she showed me that night that she wanted to just be with me. so I asked her out, and it wasn't long before we had sex (maybe 3 hours lol), ever scince we've been very sexually active and as I said before I like to be in a relationship for long term. and we progressed through our dating pretty quickly. she asked me on december 30 "If I would want to marry her?". a little suprised but not very I told her, "I do want to marry you but I don't think you know me well enough I'll ask you this very question in a mounth and if you feel the same way as you do well talk about it." a mounth went buy on her birthday I asked her " would you still want to marry me?" and she said nothings changed so we decided that we want to spend the rest of our life's together. but we want to wait we still think it's too soon.
over and over again she would bring up the subject of me cheating on her which I can't see how someone could cheat on someone. it just seems to far fetched for me. if your thinking about being with someone else, then the person your with, then you would be cheating yourself by being with that person and you should let that person know how you feel. which would probably cause you to break up and therefore you wouldn't have to cheat. I belive that she would ask me this question so much because she was(if you will) a player and she knows how thing's go.
knowing her past as "I slept with alot of people" because I told her I didn't care how many different people she slept with I just cared how many people she slept with now. I found out the number of people by a servay which was 32 in the last 12 mounths she probably slept with a few cheater's. So I understand why she worries. I'm not that worried about her cheating because I only had intercourse once before I meet her and she's tought me about sex. ( i had other soures but those arnt accurate)

I guess I also should state that after I got out of the Army I wasted my savings didn't pay my bills and I fell off my pedistal and hit rock bottom and was digging my way deeper when my GF came into my life I had nothing and was losing alot more, she didn't pay off my bill which Im greatfull would have done no good she instead budegeted my money helped alittle and got me a job. I guess you could say she lifted me back on my feet. now I payed my bills and I make hardly nothing but she's still with me and helping to make my life better. so the reason for this post is a few questions

1) when should you think about getting married, not should I marry or not but what date, place ,ect.

2) how much room should I give her to change things ex: habits, furniture, schuedles,ect.

3)how much room should I give her ex: know where she's been, what she's doing, who's she calls, ect.

On the top of this page there is a button called "Questionairres", click on it and print out two copies of the "Personal History" questionaire. Each of you fill it out and discuss openly and honestly. You've admitted that you were hard to get to know, well then I think it's probably going to take a while for her to truly get to know you and you to get to know her. The speed at which things are going coupled with some history issues would be a red flag for me, I would slow down. You have to understand that sex changes the dynamics of a relationship so when y'all started that, the communication side shut down for a while. Also, 32 partners in 12 months, I personally would have a problem with that. I don't believe normal healthy people have 32 partners in 12 months....


HUH? What are you wanting her to change?


HUH? What are you wanting to control?

good question ., & a great time to find the answers NOW! .
I lived with my wife for 5 full years before we got married
30 years I still can't give woman answers that would be worth a hill of beans about a differnt woman-
They are all differant in there own way And ways.
gotta love them