And you still are!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

As I have said before, you choose who you are. If you follow Christ and take what He has to offer, then your life has ultimate value! Why do I say that?

How does something receive value? Value is based on what the buyer is willing to pay? So, what did God pay for that Christian like Dorry...like me? He paid with the death of His Son.

So, I ask anyone...what does that make Dorry worth when the God of this Universe sent His Son to die for her? And if He values her that much...how could any of us value her less? She is not a FWW! In God's eyes, her transgressions are no more. She IS Christ-in-Dorry.

Dorry hit it on the head. I never say any life is worthless. God sent His Son to die for all of us. The murderer is no worse than I. The WS is no worse than the BS.

I meant valueless in the fact that her decisions had no value...they only are leading to destruction. Destruction of her life, of her family and her kids' lives. And destruction of a possiblity of a relationship with God. Her life is becoming valueless because it all ends up i nthe same place...death.

You cannot follow God AND divorce. You cannot follow God AND comit adultery. You cannot follow God AND treat your spouse like her husband was treating her.

Both her and her husband are bad examples for their children. Bad examples as parents. Their children should never want to be like them in their marriages. Unfortunately, we have found that most kids repeat the mistakes of their parents.

That is why this is all sad. We put ourselves, our "happiness" above our relationship with God and we dont care the destruction we do to others.

How very sad!

In His arms.

MM, I know you probably won't agree with me on this one but that's ok.

My sister married the wrong man over 35 years ago. Everyone could see it but her. They divorced after 10 years with absolutely NO infidelity on either side. They were both nice people who shouldn't have married each other. They are still very good friends and my ex BIL was put in my father's obituary notice and was also a stalwart at my father's funeral.

Also the WS who told us she'd "gone to river that day and made another memory with the OM" I think takes the record for foggiest, most pathetic thing I'VE ever read on the board.

i agree Kiwi

You can marry the wrong person.

I am not fighting that.

What I am fghting is finding an OM - the so called right person, while you are still married to the wrong person.

That is not right. If you aren't meant to be with that person, you are still married to them. Do them right. Seek councelling, or divorce...once the divorce is final, start dating and seeking the person you may be meant for...

And, how can you know if you married the "wrong person" if you have never given your spouse the chance to change? Divorcing is easy. Staying through the thick and thin, not looking for the quick fix, that is what M is really all about.

Yes, smfry, your M was in trouble before the A, so were all the Ms here that are now recovered. The As were a wake-up-call for these people to explore what was not working. An A is a Sx of problems in the M, but that does not mean the M is over. With hard work and dedication, many Ms can be very happy.

You can not look at your M with honest eyes while you are in an A. You are looking to rationalize the unacceptable. You know it is wrong, but you are still doing it...

I understand what you are sayg...but you are right, I do not agree. I dont agree based on the fact of what God said about marriage. He first said He hates divorce...EVERY divorce! Everyone one them.

He also said that only He can end a marriage because He put them togther. Everyone of them, whether Christian or not. So, when we think we are divorced, we are not really divorced in His eyes. Instead, just like the woman at the well who Jesus said had 5 husbands (because God did not recognize the divorces), a divorce always, always, always involves adultery! Either before the divorce, or after when the two spouses hook up with someone else or remarry. They are still considered married by God and thus commit adultery when they are with someone new.

The thing is, God said that He alone joins marriages, joins the two people. So, if a marriage is a mistake, then we are saying God made a mistake. But that is not possible. We can never marry the wrong person, because God would not allow it. What we CAN do is take a marriage that was meant to be and ot be the spouse we should...and destroy that marriage.

So, you are right...I do not agree. God makes two into one flesh and He says only He can separate them. And He says they can only be separated for certain reasons.

Believe me, at times during my trials, I wished He had not said these things because I wanted to just leave and start over because of my wife's adultery.

But it all came back to my obedience to Him. When I screamed about her, God was telling me "So what? We are not talking about your wife right now. We are talking about YOU, about YOUR obedience, about YOUR love for Him." He wanted to know if I loved Him enough to trust Him, to follow Him. Because if I didnt, then it didnt really matter what my wife did or whether my marriage made it.

In His arms.

But it all came back to my obedience to Him. When I screamed about her, God was telling me "So what? We are not talking about your wife right now. We are talking about YOU, about YOUR obedience, about YOUR love for Him." He wanted to know if I loved Him enough to trust Him, to follow Him. Because if I didnt, then it didnt really matter what my wife did or whether my marriage made it.

I said something about this to my WH this morning. That we know it is right to stay married. But what you just said struck me in a way I had not thought about or had forgotten.....even though I have the biblical right to divorce him, it comes down to obedience to God and forgiveness. It is commanded that we forgive. It is commanded that we love. Obedience. If we love Him, we will keep his commandments.
Which means, if I truely want to pursue obedience, then I will not pursue divorce.

Did I get that right Mr. M?

K