My WH is a coach & teacher at a private school. His contract has not been renewed. Like most Christian private schools, there is a moral clause in his contract. I have recently found out there are things in his past that may prevent him from getting his public school certification. I truly believe he is an immoral person right now and I know he has applied to some Christian school near OW, MIL & SIL. I feel a moral obligation to protect other people from his lies. However, sometimes wonder if this obligation I feel is really vengence in disguise.

What should I do? single choice

Send anonymous copy of D w/"Adultry" highlighted to all private Christian schools in state. At least they have the information if they still choose to hire him. (33%, 2 Votes)

Support him in his job search. A Christian atmosphere is what he needs most. (17%, 1 Votes)

Keep quiet. I'm not responsible for his sins. (50%, 3 Votes)

Burn every bridge in sight. Plaster GF letters & D on message boards, emails, etc. (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Votes: 6 Voting on this poll ends: 03/06/06 04:25 PM

How about an option not mentioned....

Be honest with anyone that questions you about your husband, inform the current school that he works for of his violation of the morality code, (if you haven't already) but don't send information to a bunch of strangers.

I fear that your canvas of paperwork plan to send the details of your divorce to various schools could get you in legal trouble, because it could be seen as slander.

So he cheated on you but appears to be "perfect" at his Christian school, is that what you are saying? Divorce with adultry, were you able to prove it in your divorce in a fault state? I'm not in a divorce state but my husband too apparently cheated and I left this "perfect" man a year ago. As much as you may want revenge will it help you get on with your own life? My husband likely committed adultry, I had cell records and stuff from the internet, he also physically hurt me in the end in arguments. He has a record. He went on to be president of a bank in a little town, joined every public board in town, it's all in another state, they have no clue he was fired from three jobs before he took on this job. The small bank was likely niave, didn't check references or his record or he wouldn't have gotten the job. He's lied to everyone saying I and my little boy will be joining him soon - I left him a year ago due to violence. He's immoral and a liar, and I'll admit it steams me.

I filed fora divorce, have been reading up on the ultimately selfish men who basically lie their way through life, presenting themselves to friends and family, and jobs as one thing but at home it's a very different story. I am his third wife, fourth if you count his live in before me, yet of course our divorce is all my fault and he still doesnt' think I'll really continue the divorce as I'll "wake up" and see how right he is (yet a message on our voice mail when I went to the house one day, from his new "just a friend" asking when they'd "hook up" next. Anyways the advice on men who are selfish to the point of being narrsisstic (mine likely is, yours might be) is to "expose them" to everyone possible but this was in the event that you have to fight with them in court, as they'll dress right, lie, manipulate everyone around them - I'm about to go through this. So I've decided that yes, I will threaten him that I will expose him to his current management, his family, his friends - everyone if he contines to go forward with his threats to fight me for custody of our son. If that's what I have to do to protect my custody of my son, I will do it.

However if there wasn't a reason for it as important as my own son, I'd just let him get on with his silly life, being important, showing off, living his life as a fake. As Christians we have some peace of mind in knowing that God knows all and if your husband has been evil, if he's cheated and lied he will one day pay for his sins. We are to forgive for ourslves, so that we can move on with our lives with a sense of peace. So long as my husband doesn't fight for custody I'll move on, will quit talking to him, will try to find this peace by forgiving him and I won't be vengeful even though there are times wishful thinking gets the best of me, as it is you, from your post.

You know what to do, pray, ask God for help, ask him to help you forgive your husband for how he wronged you... find some peace and quiet in your life. Don't strike back with vengenance or hate. Turn it over to God and he will take care of your ex with time. One can't go through life lying without it catching up with them. My husband will be "caught" soon when the "happy wife and child" don't show up in his new town. He knows he's about to be caught, I don't have to help the process as he's digging his own grave with his lies. Liars typically can't keep their lies straight, some people see through it, others don't. I'm with the above poster that if anyone asks you could be honest but I'd pray hard about exposing him to the school or others... and it's true that in this day and age you can be sued for slander, make sure nothing you say is in writing or can be traced if you do have a moment where you "react" and go forward with this idea... be careful, there are many greedy attorneys out there.

fb, when you look at these choices, which one is the God-centered one? Which one leads to supporting your walk with God?