Oh, that was probably me, Gemela. I asked him if he was helping with the homework. There are lots of men who don't really help around the home, especially with the children.

But I won't do it again. I should not have mentioned it, but thought maybe he would get busy.

As far as forgetting birthdays, I think that is a man thing too. They just don't have the same skills that women do as far as family things.

I hope you will insist on a better marriage. Otherwise, there will be trouble in the future. I'm hoping that you are well, and not so sad.

By the way, your English is excellent. I know how hard it is to write in a different language.

Well, he came to me that morning after you mentioned, and he said, "why you don't tell me that you need help with homework", I didn't said much, but I was in schock, any way! He is in charge in doing homework with my girl. I know it won't last forever cause I know him, he is always the same, he start with enthusiasm and after 2 weeks he will forget all about it. Will see!!
Im doing well, Im not very sad, sometimes I remember the times with the OM and I get sad, but I know I, will get over this.
gemela.

Gemela - I won't do that again. I'm sorry.

It is very sad to go through this. There are many women here who made it, and have happier lives now - like KiwiJ and Myrta. Hang in there, and we are here for you.

Gemela,

me alegro que te sientas mejor. Es bueno que cominces a hablar con tu esposo. No te gustaría tener una relación basada en confianza y honestidad con tu esposo? Comienza con algo pequeño, dile algo de lo que sientes, no crees que él se está esforzando lo suficiente para mantener el matrimonio?

Siguenos hablando. Te va a hacer bien.

Gemela, como estas?

Hello!!!
I'm OK, but today, little bit depressed, I been taken antidepression tablets, but sometimes, just doesn't work. I really miss the OM, and I can't stop thinking about him, it is just horrible!! I really wanna be with the OM and right now the only two thinks that keeping me here from go with the OM are my girls!
I been trying do not to think about the OM and focus on my H, but it is so hard, so dificult, sometimes I don't want my H to hug me or kiss me and I don't wanna be rude by saying "I'm sorry but not right now", what should I do? Is this normal?
gemela

Hi Gemela, good to see you are back.

I have never been in your situation but if you probably read what Dr. Harley says what you are going through is normal.Itshould get better soon, it takes at least 3 weeks. How long have you been in non contact?

Have you talked to your husband about the affair? have you told him what you felt and what you feel now?

have you told him you want to have a wonderful marriage with him and asked him to help you make that real?

Have you told him WHY you think you had the affair?

You have to think and talk these things with him. A marriage is between two people.

Keep talking to us and telling us what you feel, whatyou believe happened and what you would like for the futur.

We're listening. I hope Myrta will be around soon.

Gemela,

have you read all the posts we have sent you?

Do you want to comment on them?

en español, si quieres

Gemela---it seems each time you come and post, you just do it once, and dont wait for the reply. You have to wait and see your feedback and give us some more of whats going on. Tienes que esperar a que te contesten, no te vayas tan rapido!!!

What you are feeling right now its pretty normal. It is called withdrawal . You are missing the OM, but as each day and week, and month passes it would decrease until it dissapears completely. You have to keep on trying to work it out with your husband, it will eventually be good, until it gets great with him again. YOu just have to give it time. And you have to understand that what you are feeling its normal. All FWWs go thru it and make it. You will too. Just give it time and effort.

Also what you are feeling with your husband will get better too. I also did not want or welcome my husband advances too much, but now its great!! I can wait for him to come home, and I am the one thats all over him. So, please know that everything will get better. but you have to keep the promise to your husband of NC with OM> Gemela. he is not a good man. YOU are married with two daughters and he got involved with you. Does that sound like a good man to you? Will Traicionado do that? Good men dont mess around with Married women.

Are you a good golf player? My husband plays golf too, but I really never enjoy the sport too much. I rather play tennis ...but who knows maybe I will get into it one of these days.

Take care

Myrta

The anti-depressants take some time to work, so hang in there. What you are going through is withdrawal. In your mind you had planned to live happily ever after with the other man. But that was only a fantasy. If you went with the other man, the two of you would have problems too. That is just reality.

If you have no contact with the other man, this will pass, and you will be able to fall in love with your husband again. It you continue to have contact, you are just torturing yourself by dragging it out.

A good man does not have an affair with a married woman with children. You may think he is a good man, but he is not. If he really cared for you, he would not have gotten involved. He is not even a good friend.

I know that you think your situation is different, but we see the same thing here, over and over. Your future is with your husband and children. Your husband seems to adore and admire you. Be thankful, and try to get through this.