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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1
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Junior Member
Junior Member
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1
2 weeks ago I found some disturbing information on my computer. I've been married for 6 years last fall, we have 3 boys together. I logged onto my computer and an instant messenger screen popped up. i noticed the names on the contact list was one of my friends. i hadn't installed this messenger program so i was trying to figure out how she got ahold of me. it wasn't her. she has a distinct way of spelling her name, that's what tipped me off. so it seems my husband has been on an adult website trying to find "someone to talk to" and has been for a couple months. he has been conversing with this woman for a while, i found their message archives. I'm not a dummie when it comes to finding stuff on the computer and he knows this. i was curious as to what was being said and it blew my mind. he wants to meet this women who lives less than an hour away from us, even closer to where he works. i let it go for about a week and then i couldn't handle it and confronted him while he was talking to her. you should have seen his face when he was caught in the act! he tried to play it off as talking to a friend, no big deal. so we had a little chat that evening into the early morning hours. he said he would stop talking with her and he wanted to work things out betweet us first. he messaged her again and told her he was done talking with her and going to work our problems out before bringing someone new into our marriage. i'm totally against the open marriage idea and he knows it. he just couldn't find the words to tell me but was planning on it he told me. i found 4 new messages from him and her yesterday morning and confronted him again. he didn't know what i was talking about and said he hasn't talked to her. the messages have dates and times on them. like i said before, i'm not a computer dummie.

my question is... what is my next step? how am i supposed to work things out with him if he continues conversing with this woman. oh by the way... there were dates to meet in these last messages. actual dates, march 18th and 25th. Help me, give me advice, this whole situation has confused me and threw me for a loop. Thanks.

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 217
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 217
Have you read up on Plan A? You should do that immediately. Your H needs to break off all contact in order for you to get past this. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.


BS 40 (me)
FWW 39
D13, D10, S5
Married 12/95; PA ~3/96; EA ~1/10
D-day 2/16/06 (ten year secret)
Current status: Newly discovered EA
My story (part 1)

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