I have been following Dr. Harley's advice as best as I can. I want to show WW the things she dislikes about me are things I am working to change. She is still in withdrawal so I am not sure how much good I am doing. Can anyone help with suggestions on how to be there for her (top EN is conversation) but not over do it? She has complained that I am "smothering" her now.

I asked her to fill out EN and LB questionnaire but she has not done it. She said she is not ready to work on us.

Terps,

She won't be ready for anything until she gets through withdrawal. Until that happens, she won't be prepared to let you meet any of her needs which is why she won't work on us

She is still also most probably in an ongoing affair from your other posts. Withdrawal won't really start until that stops.

I hope you can find the courage to stop doubting what you know to be true and end her affair by exposure.

Smothering WS won't work. As long as WS is in contact with OP, there's nothing that you can do.

My WH cheated for the last 2 yrs of our 2-1/2 year marriage. D-day, Feb. 1. 2006. Kicked him out that night. He stayed at his buddy's house. Forgave him on 2/14 and we decided (at least that's what I thought) to try to rebuild marriage. Did everything I could. WH kept lying. I went close to having a nervous breakdown on 2/25, begged my doc (knows of A)for anti-depressant. Luckily, he didn't want to.

Two days ago, I decided to cut him off and I was done with his lying and cheating. I know it's againts what MB teaches. MB has taught me a lot and made me understand where my marriage might have failed and I will take it to heart on my next relationship. And what I had to decide for my self is that do I want to spend the next 6 months to years of wondering whether or not my WH will ever be faithful again? Or would I rather spend the next 6 months or years with someone who will treat me the way I would like to be treated? The second questions offers a guarantee that allows me to stop hurting and moving on and walk away with my self-respect intact.

Any person who conscientously decide to have affair behind those they profess to love are individuals who do not know how to respect and love themselves. If they do, then they would show respect to the ones they claim to love. If they can never learn to love and respect themselves, how will they be able to do the same to us?

How long this has been going on with you? when did you discover the A? She sounds like my ww who by the way was lying about NC. I say give it an honest shot for your own sanity and integrity.If she won't stop the A, leave her. It's hard and it hurts, but slowly your life will improve.If you have kids, their life will be better without being around someone that chooses an A partner over them.
If you try everything you can to save your marriage at least you won't have any regrets if it ends.