I've never been a romantic. I think my WG needed that. We are technically "broken up" but she is "confused" about us and is living in her own place (since January 27) and seeing somebody.

Plan A is difficult because of the separate households and the opposite work schedules. But, I'm giving it my best shot.

I was reading another thread and the thought popped into my head that maybe I should send her roses. I've never done that in 5 years of our R.

What do you think? Good idea? Bad idea?

Gawd, this is all so confusing!!!! What is not enough? What is too much????? When will I know if Plan A is not working and move to Plan B? D-Day was January 9th.

Well I personally would not like roses. But it depends on her and what she likes. I would prefer you to buy the book and work from there. Those tangible changes will be out there for her to see. Maybe instead of roses, a single yellow one with a note about your friendship along with the surviving the A book for you too.
Just my opinion. Others feel free to jump in.
JE

You're RIGHT JE. I will see if either of my bookstores has it tonight. Thank you for your input. She texted back about the weekend and said "Sure." So, looking for something fun, different and relatively inexpensive to do. Any ideas would be appreciated.

Remember no relationship talk. Just be together and enjoy her. Let her take the lead, so to speak. Just be the new you all shiny and good.
Ideas-
Pack a picnic lunch or dinner, drive to a park, a lake, etc. Make a CD of her kind of music just for her. Plan on some wine or beer (whichever fits) and fresh fruits.

Just go for a 2 hour drive. Stop at a local diner. Play her radio station.

Go rollerskating and out to dinner.

Rent her favorite movie. Make a nice dinner that she likes.

That is the best I could do right now. I will think some more and try to find other ideas. Just remember, you have to woo her. Not force yourself, not beg, not plead. Just put yourself out there for her to see.
JE

Gosh, JE, HELP!!! My stomach is in knots -- I feel like I was just punched.

I sent WG text "Saturday or Sunday -- Saturday will give more options, etc." WG texted back -- thankfully texted, because over the phone, it would have hurt more and she would have sensed my reaction -- "Will have to be Sunday. I have plans on Saturday."

Since she is OFF on Saturday, I KNOW that means she is doing something with Julie!!!! God, how do I continue to handle this?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> And, when do I know I've had enough of her "confusion" and being a "big question mark?"

You know what? Typical Chaka fashion -- jumping to conclusions without any backup. She has other friends. Two of her closest friends are the "go out dancing" types. It is very possible that she is going out with friends and not Julie. However, it is still possible that the plans ARE with Julie. That is one of my frailties -- jumping to conclusions. Anyway, just wanted to add that.

First and foremost TAKE A DEEP BREATH
Then tell yourself how stong you are
Then tell yourself that you can do this
Chaka you and only you will know when you have had enough. Have you done absolutely everything you possibly can to foster the relationship? Have you given 100% into your own healing to show her what you are truly made of? Have you soul searched yourself and ok with the fact that you have done everything and yet still have the love for her?
These are the questions I am working on. I am not quite ready to throw in the towel and I am 9 months past final dday. My FWH is very selfish, he continues to lie to me, and breaks trust with me all the time.
I have seen you write about a marriage certificate. Does that make a difference? How about a heterosexual relationship where they are common law spouses? What about saying your vows before each other and God only? Do you see where I am going here. YOU BOTH made a committment to each other, with the stupid paper or not. THe paper didnt stop my FWH from cheating, or any others FWS from cheating. Being here as a BS or a FWS means the same, with or without the paper. You, her and your daughter have had a 5 year relationship. What about the H and W that have only been married 2 years with one kid? Are they more able to walk away? Maybe, and I think Harley says something about with no kids, or no marriage, but you two were committed for a long time. You share a home, finances, insurance, your daughter, your love. Are you ready to throw that all away yet?
I hope not. You need to stand strong, for you, for your WGF, for your D. Take that stand to do your absolute best!
And like ARK said, be still.
JE

You are a lifesaver!!! Trying to keep breathing. No, I'm not ready to give up yet, but patience is not one of my virtues -- one that I am working on, however. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm off to the orthodontist and will check back this evening.

THANK YOU, JE!!!!

LOL we are twins for sure. I am the most impatient person I know at times.
I get my braces off on thursday. I am soo happy about that. Chat with you later.
JE