Jeff, I just found out my wife has been having an affair too. I found out about this site from another site, womensinfidelity.com Someone over there reccommended it. The last post about the chemicals is dead on. I read Women's Infidelity and it explains why women are cheating so much today. My wife has been doing everything the book said she would do and it sounds like what your wife is doing too. It appears fours years is around the time that this normaslly happens. I don't think you should be the one to move out. I was going to move out until I read the book, but I found out that men just do everything wrong in these situations and I have since changed my mind. If you want your wife to come back you should read the book, but you may not want her back after you do though. That's where I'm at now, and just like the book predicted, my wife is now wanting me back. Good luck to you, I know how you feel

Jeff, how are you doing? You did not move out, did you? How did the exposure go?

Hang in there.

Answer this question for yourself: Do you really want this person to be the mother of your children after what she did?
9 months into the marriage... I know your losses have a lot to do with her trying to find happiness elsewhere, but it's at your expense and it's WRONG, period...Do you think she will be able to handel reconcilation any better than your losses?

I had to answer this for myself after 7 years... and my answer was clear. move forward and don't waste anymore of my life trying to clear this unreliable,noncommited, selfish individual from a fog. It took 6 months of trying for me and fortunately I didn't have any kids. I'm not saying you should give up but please ask yourself this question and think hard about it.
I'm happy to say that my life has improved a 100% since I dumped the baggage.I hate to sound cold. but give it an honest shot and if she doesn't come around,find someone better or just be single and enjoy life for awhile. A better life is out there waiting my friend...