I heard from her yesterday... She didn't to discuss anything other than wanting financial support till she gets a job and her life in order...?

I am not sure what to do here....?

She wants you to finance her infidelity?

Contact is good. Be sure to stay respectful at all times. But do not agree to finance a continuing A. Tell her that you want her back. Tell her that you are working on your own issues. Apologize for the terrible things you did to her.

Unfortunately, she contacted me through an intermediary (her friend) requesting for money to take care of her expenses until she secures a job.

There was no way to be respectful or tell her how much I love her. I told the friend to tell her to make direct contact with me to discuss anything that she may want... Was I correct in saying so...? Would she think that I being 'authoritative' and superior? Should I remit her the money she wants...?

By financing her, it could lead to two things 1. She realising that I care for her and really mean well or 2. It would be an encouragement for her to continue the way she is going right now. She could get an attitude like "Well, he's giving me the money, so let me continue my independence"...

Apparently she wants money from you, but she's not prepared to discuss the reasons why with you. If it was me, I would not provide any until she's prepared to discuss the reasons with me directly.



In my opinion, yes.



Would that make a difference at this point?



That would depend on the outcome of your discussion.



Don't forget option 3: "He's a sucker that would give me money any time I want in the desperate hope that I'd return to him some day".

You should be prepared to counter any arguments for the $$$. For example, if she says she needs it for an apartment, you could counter that she could stay with you, no strings attached, until such time that she can afford her own apartment.

ManInMotion, I am total agreement with you... By the way, I've been doing some snooping the last few days... And it's just shockers after shockers...

Her lover has gone back to Poland for a short holiday. He apparently wants to sell-up and get back to Sri Lanka to settle down permanently. They have been exchanging e-mails and I think they are going strong.

Prior to meeting this guy, she had stored my e-mails and pictures in a folder called "Bhahi Angel"... She has now renamed it to just "Bhahi"... In the meantime, her new-found lover's e-mails and pictures have been stored in a folder called "My Baby Alex"!!!!

I am so torn... I have not made any attempt to contact her recently and she has also not contacted me... I think I am fighting a losing battle here...

GOOD NEWS.... She SMS'd me today and we exchanged a few messages. Basically, she says that she and her Polish lover have ended it (now I know that it is not true, due to my snooping efforts recently, where I have seen e-mails exchanged between them as recently as yesterday!!!) and that she misses me, BUT doesn't trust me to be with her for life... She claims that another guy is madly in love with her and that she doesn't want to be with anybody at the moment. Now, I am all at sea trying to figure this out...

But hey, why does she continue lying about the Polish affair??? Why can't she just admit it and tell me that she wishes to develop things out with him??? OR, why doesn't she tell me straight up to wait for her...???

She was sweet and calm during the exchange of messages... She also wanted me as her friend for life and said that she would be very jealous of whoever got me next... She says that she is also depressed and lonely (note the Polish lover is currently in Poland and away from her as she is in Sri Lanka) and was contemplating medical help...

ANYBODY, please help me fit the pieces together....