My wife and I are both WS's and we are begining the road to repairing our marriage. I have sent off my NC letter and my wife is prepared to do the same.

Here is the dilemma. She is very concerned about how he will react, verbally and physically. She says he is not a nice person. He has also told her that if she leaves him, he will kill himself (Huge Manipulator)and she has become very good friends with the OM's sister and mother. This is weighing on my wifes concience, even though she know's she must do it. She says she will feel responsible if he harm's himself or others. She is also concerned about hurting the feelings of the sister and mother.

I told her that I would help her write the letter, make two copies and send one off certified mail. I also told her I would call the OM and tell him to cease and desist or we will file a restraining order. I changed her cell number for her today but he knows our home number and her work number.

I have told her that I am here to support her 100% and that if the sister and mother are true friends they will recongize that she is doing the right thing and support her decision.

So my questions:

Should I be doing anything different?

Should the relationship with the sister and mother end too? I have my own thoughts about this but I would like to hear others.

Has anyone had to deal with a aggressive or manipulating OM, and how did you deal with it?

Does anyone have any links to info on how to deal with a OM that won't walk away?

Thanks for your time and consideration,
R

Yes, you should be cautious of your wife's sincerity.

Could it be that she's hesitating because she doesn't really want to end it?



Absolutely. A total, clean break with all associated with OM.

Ignore the OM's threats.

This is not uncommon to hear. Rarely is it ever done.



Unless she has control of the puppet strings, he's solely responsible for his actions... not her.



My FWW had the same issue of the OM constantly calling after the NC letter was delivered. If your W is serious about this then she will request her work phone to be changed. Many people say that doing that isn't realistic, but my FWW proved it's possible. She has over 1100 clients, so don't say there would be too many people to contact. She was serious about this and she meant it. That's a BIG hassle to go through, but she felt our M was worth the trouble.

Home phone... a no-brainer. Easy.

Thank you all for your replies. I'll keep this updated as necessary. She told me today we need to move far away to continue rebuilding our relationship. Good news indeed.

That indeed is a good sign.

Many BSs here would cut off their right arm to hear something like that.

Go to work, you can beat this beast.

WAT