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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
My oldest daughter called and asked me to go look at the chapel that they want to be married in. I was with her for almost 2 hours when she finally said "Dad called me last night when he left your house." I didn't ask why, I never do but she proceeded to tell me that he wanted to know if she thought he wa having a midlife crisis. I NEVER mentioned that to him. He told her that the hardest thing he ever did was leave here. So what's up with that? Is he finally seeing the light or is this just more fog talk?
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396 |
Fog talk? Maybe. I think it's more like validation? Support from others usually helps to validate decisions so you feel your are in the right.
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
I think he's cracking, really. His mother called me and asked me if I thought he was having a midlife crisis. When I asked her where she got that idea, she said he asked her. He was here again last night. He said he forgot to clean something up in the family room and next thing I know, he's in there vacuuming. He's really cunfusing me.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 396 |
Any other parts of the house needing to be cleaned? How about laundry? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Hopeful4future
The character of a person is defined by their actions...not their intentions. Otherwise, the world would be full of Saints.
BS: 40 (Me)
xFWW: 50
Married: 9/97
PA: 3 months
D-Day: 6/30/2005 (she revealed to me)
Divorced: 10/2/2008
Happy that I've moved on
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
Actually Hopeful, he offered to do some laundry while he was down there. I'm really confused.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Any other parts of the house needing to be cleaned? How about laundry? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Wow that's funny! I spit all over the 'puter screen. Hope could be right that he's trying to justify his actions - but the vacuuming is curious. Reel him in! One thing for certain - don't jump to conclusions. We've seen this before. Waffling. Fence sitting. They don't call this a roller coaster for nuthin. Hope for the best, but expect less. WAT
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
Thanks WAT, I have learned to expect nothing that way I'm not disappointed when I get it. And by the way, I really hate roller coasters <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Important - if he mentions the MLC thing to you, validate him!
"Yes dear, I've read that MLC and any other number of "life crises" can result in lots of confusion and family strife."
It doesn't matter that he may be using this MLC as a convenient excuse. Let him - for now. As long as he pivots on it and genuinely starts to come around - you don't CARE why! Make sense?
WAT
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
Validate it is. I don't think he'll mention it to me though. Last night he kept standing really close to me and my instinct was to say back off cheater or move away, but as per MelodyLane's advice I stood my ground and I was nice. BLAH, it was hard.
He called my daughter from work today and asked her what she thought about him going to counseling. She told him to GO.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Validate it is. I don't think he'll mention it to me though. Last night he kept standing really close to me and my instinct was to say back off cheater or move away, but as per MelodyLane's advice I stood my ground and I was nice. BLAH, it was hard. bwahahaaa! I am very proud of you for not punching him out! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Were you SWEET AND GRATEFUL to him for cleaning up the place?? BE SWEET!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
I was so sweet that I stated to crystalize. But, ugh, just thinking about him touching HER and standing so close to me was disturbing. But I listened to you Melody and I thnak you for the advice.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
GOOD GIRL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It sounds like you have reigned in your emotions quite well. VERY SMART. The more in control you are, the better you can follow and stick to a strategy. This gives you a distinct advantage over your WS and the OW, because all of their actions are driven by feelings. Just keep it up. Remember our motto: ATTRACT, ATTRACT, ATTRACT!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 237 |
Seems I am attracting everyone BUT my cheating hubby. He is too wrapped up in work and the ow. I think I could be naked with a bow on and he wouldn't notice but I'll keep trying. Yes my emotions are back under control thankfully. We shall see what happens.
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