I know that some time I come here to see if someone has the answer to all my problems, or that someone can tell me not worry that at such and such time my H will come to his senses and that this is all you have to do to make it happen. I know that is totally unrealistic but it doesn't hurt to dream a little. Yes in some ways it would be nice to have a crystal ball that would tell us what is going to happen in the future. And it would be nice if it would tell us only the good stuff. But that isn't going to happen and maybe this doesn't make a whole of sense but I was just thinking how much easier it would be if I knew that all the hurt and pain I have felt, and if all the effort I have made and want to make in the future will be worthwhile in that I would succeed in getting my H back and our marriage being whole again. Just doing somedaydreaming, thinking and hard wishing. As I've said before I am very impatient and like to have the answers now.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

I just told a friend I could survive anything if I just knew what to expect. That's the hardest part of this stupid roller coaster, not knowing if, after all the ups and downs, you're gonna pull into the station or fall off the tracks!!!! I'm taking everyone else's advice that this is my opportunity for personal growth. Maybe, in the end, that's the payoff.<P>Lots of hugs to ALL of us.<P>Lori

I used to ask God to write a message in the clouds... <P>The ultimate authority, you know? He never did though. I guess we're suppose to go through things in our own time without advanced notice - poop!<P>I also wish I could have a crystal ball... that would be really a neat "just because" gift to buy myself... it wouldn't help my marriage though, it would just be a nice addtion in my bedroom... right next to my fountain!<P>------------------<BR>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited September 30, 1999).]

I too have a long way to go...<BR>Like the rest of you.<P>I can only hope for the best outcome...<BR>But there are no guarantees.<P>If all my work in following marriage builders recommendations fails... and I know it can, I will have a new start to my life... knowing how to better love not just a spouse, but all that I come in contact with.<P>After all... don't all the recommendations that are made really fall into 2 categories.<P>1. Treat your neighbor(spouse) as yourself...<BR> (satisfying their needs...<BR> as would would hope they'd satisfy yours - Plan A)<P>2. Shake the dust from you sandals, if they reject you ( - Plan B)<P>Yes it is hard... so is life!<BR>The path is narrow... So are many of the best ways to true happiness!<P>I will stumble on that path...<BR>I will brus into the thorns on its side...<BR>I will bear my cross...<P>There will be an end...<BR>If I had a crystal ball...<BR>It won't change what the end will be.<BR>If I give up now...<BR>It might never be!<P>Jim

Would I stop trying if I knew it wouldn't do any good. Probably not, you see I have to keep trying I never stop, that is the way I am. And that worries me. Yes, if I follow the plan and improve myself that is good. But I have a problem with defeat, I don't know when to give up. And that is not good. I know it is too early to worry about that, all my energy need to be on saving my marriage but in the back of my mind. I still would like that crystal ball to tell me when I have done all I can and it is time to give up. Because I am afraid that all my efforts will be for naught and I will have lost the only man I have and will continue to love. And I don't want to continue with this pain I want to give it up and do I don't know what. But I am tried of hurting and I don't want to hurt anymore. If I had that crystal ball then I would know if my efforts would succeed and if they won't then I could stop trying and the hurting would stop now. Sorry, this isn't want I sstarted out to say, but you see he walked out two months ago today. And it really hurts.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>