Most women like to look nice and be noticed. That is very normal. I would find covering up very demeaning. But that is just me.

The women I know in Mexico dress very conservatively. The ones closer to the border, or in the states, don't.

An example: married women here (on camp) are supposed to wear one piece bathing suits. WW started that but, by her own words, started seeing the 20 yr old girls coming back on school leave in their bikinis and she began to get into a competition with them (her own words). She went to the pool every day to try to "out do" the girls. She did not get into thongs. I don't think that would fly here but definitely "rio cut". She kept covering less and less. Obviously OM took note as he saw her every day at the pool. I kept reminding her that what she was doing was not appropriate for the environment and it was something we had discussed and agreed to prior to making the decision to come here. This is why I think MLC may have had some bearing.

I don't believe she ever switched over completely from being single/married with no kids to being a mom. Not completely. We have always had a full-time housemaid prior to coming here. The maid took care of all the dirty work and WW got the kids when they were clean, dressed and ready to go. WW may have been a little spoiled. I can't say for sure. She has great maternal instincts. That is the glue that has kept her from running off with OM. She is not always the best mother in that she takes out her frustrations on DDs.

I think WW is going through/needs to go through a paradigm shift in her attitude regardless of whether we stay here or live elsewhere. Saudi has just forced the issue because we no longer have a 5 or 6 bedroom house with servant's quarters to place a maid. Our last house in Dubai was four stories and had its own elevator. I admit I miss that house. If we had a full time made now, we would be stepping all over each other. She also doesn't need it. Her sister in Mexico takes care of a much larger house with no maid.

Personally I think the full time maid is bad for DDs. Even now, they won't pick up after themselves. They say "let the (part time) maid do it". They don't say that to me twice, however.

It sounds like you have taken good care of her - I won't say spoiled her, but close.

I know what you mean about the maid. I had a housekeeper when my boys were young, but only once a week. My sons gave me the same line - "let the maid do it". After that, I made sure to tell our housekeeper that I would pay her the same money, but she could skip the boy's rooms.

Do you want to know how many pairs of shoes WW has? Imelda Marcos look out!!! Do you want to know how many pairs of shoes SIL has? MIL continually harps on this point. SIL is even upset about it. Funny thing is WW is continually finding "new" shoes she forgot she had. I never thought twice about the shoes until SIL insisted that I stop buying WW new shoes. I am not venting here BTW because the shoes don't bother me personally. You can go to the poorest town in any Latin American country and find a minimum of 30 shoes stores (for a population of 5000). The Tres Hermanos are everywhere! Even tiny shops that only sell one unique pair of shoes that may or may not come in your size. I have learned that shoes can never be too big because you can always correct that with 1 or 2 or 7 or 9 "plantillas" for "media plantillas" or combination thereof. Shoes CAN be too small but ONLY if they are more than two sizes too small. Otherwise, pain doesn't matter as long as they look good. Okay, you caught me. Now I am venting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Just FYI, I woke WW up this AM and cuddled with her and told her that I was sorry for my little snit yesterday and assured her it was not her fault and she had done nothing to cause it. I apologized.

For anyone looking for gemela, we are going into Khobar tonight with DDs and will not get back till late. I bet she does not post tonight. If she does not, I will try to talk to her about it tomorrow. We do have a "Horse and Hound" show to take DDs to at the riding club. DD1 wants a horse - a white one. I dreamed about that last night. At least I think it was a dream. In my supposed dream, I learned the cost would be about $50,000 for the horse and $50,000 per year for care and feeding. I am not sure of the exact amount because I got confused by the exchange rate. I didn't think it was that much. I also dreamed that OM came back and WW was desperate to see him. He even offered me $500. I refused. I guess I should have asked him for $100,000 - at least I could have bought a horse! I don't think the price is really that high here. My neighbor told me they were thinking about buying a horse. They finally made the decision to do it and were going out the next day to pay the $5,000 for the horse but it had died during the night. Maybe just the unhealthy horses go for such a bargain. I will do more research. Maybe I could compromise and get a horse with just a chronic cough...

I will get gemela back ASAP. She is very busy today and maybe tomorrow. Thursday is the annual running club Pub Crawl which I signed us up for. Consists of 5 mile run with "adult" water holes along the route. There is no observed winner of the event. We do get a T-shirt though so we will have been there, done that AND gotten the T-shirt. I don't know how she will be for posting afterward and my "24 hour rule" will go into effect.

If there is a problem, I will let gemela fans know.

Early this morning I mentioned the "water can" analogy. I am cutting and pasting here for completeness as a thought process a BS can (did) go through awaiting IC. I hope others may be able to relate.

When reading this, just pretend that "yesterday" was my IC gone horrible wrong. here goes:

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One of my common running tracks here is 5.5K around a desert waste area. There is a water can at exactly the 3K mark and no hope in between. In the summer, when it is 50 or 55 degrees C and you run that and all you can think is "do I have enough to get to the water?", you suck it up and force yourself to go that extra. You can't lie down because you would get 2nd degree burns. You think – "if I can just get to the water". You force yourself. You can't even make yourself look at the can because it seems too far away. You look down pretending that the next step will bring you there. Then, when you finally get there, you find out it is empty. That is the best analogy I can think of to describe how I felt yesterday. I hoped it would be better before I got home but I couldn't shake it. I had no real expectations about IC. I just wanted help, or so I thought...

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Anyway, that is my "water can" analogy. I don't think about it too much any more but I am reluctant to want to consider IC here again anyway. If a Harvard-trained psychiatrist doesn't know enough to respect a session, what can I expect from someone "less qualified"?

I believe good IC can help any BS and I would encourage anyone in that position to seek it out. We BS's have a lot of pretty active demons. We can either exercise them or exorcise them but they are not going to sit back quietly. I hope that WW will go back to IC and that eventually we will get back to MC. I am awaiting the MC to tell me that it is appropriate. If MC tells me to go for IC, I'll do it. It will either be that or she will tell me to eat Thai food at the Blue Elephant. Hmm, come to think of it, I believe I will pick up some sweet chili sauce at the market tonight. Maybe I have been overlooking something...

Thanks for letting us know that gemela won't be around and that she's busy. You'll have to make sure she knows how to find her threads in case they are far back. I won't bump them because I'd have to use my imagination! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> it won't accept "bump" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Just make sure she doesn't get away with pretending that nothing happened. You yourself said that that's what she wants to do, and I believe it's true. If she doesn't face up to what she did, I don't think you'll ever recover... nor will she be happy.

But she might need time to think.

I don't think she is particularly interested in MB.Yet.

The fact that she has posted more than once is amazing. I'll keep at it although gently. I can't force her to think something. If she chooses to believe that we can ignore this and it will go away, I agree with you. She might be able to get over it that way but I'll choose to walk.

We got back from Khobar. I can't believe it. WW now has yet another pair of shoes. She is up to 61. I swore "anything but that". What is wrong with me? I made her a deal. She could get the new shoes as long as she left the old ones in the store (she said they were worn on the heels). She agreed. But then DD1 saw the shoes and started crying and said she wanted them because she would wear them when she was grown up. They came home with us.

I am going to see if I can get gemela to put her threads in her "favorite topics" and access them that way. Other option is to put them in IE favorites. One way or the other I'll make them accessible so that doesn't become the excuse.

I sense Gemela has some vanity with regards to shoes and the idea that she dresses 10 years younger. Your comment regarding the swimsuits and the fact that she would like to show off her figure in Saudi tells me she may be an admiration junkie. Admiration is a very common emotional need for many men and women. In fact quite often OM zooms into this need. I encourage you to pay attention to this EN, as this may be very rewarding to you and the marriage.

Do not forget that having an affair with a younger man while she was married to someone older was another way to fill her need for admiration.

BTW, you remind me of Larry178 who like seems to be getting over the affair quite fast. You may want to post to him since you are both married to younger women. I believe he has a few pearls he can pass along.

Are you suggesting I buy more shoes?

I have always done my best to praise her on her appearance, etc. I have never ever done what I see many husbands do and put my WW down in any way. Even when she gets overweight, I never say anything about that.
WW is vain IMO. She can never leave the house without being dressed to the nines. Other wives always comment about how ashamed they are to take their kids to school in sweats and a t-shirt and then bump into WW all kitted out.

traicionado,

Do yourself a big favor. Buy the white horse. Buy two white horses. Horse expenses will make you forget all about the 61 pairs of shoes.

Or persuade her to do what my WW does. Collect Madame Alexander dolls. Then buy her a large cabinet with glass doors in which to put the dolls. The dolls are only $350 a pop so you can compute your break-even readily.

Traicionado...YOur wife sounds pretty normal to me in regards to her appearance. She is a young mexican woman that takes pride in her appearance. NOthing wrong with thaT. I am older than her, and I still take pride in my appearance too. Will never be caught with sweats, dont have them, never will. Spanish women are very much into appearance, looking good 24/7. Dont see anything bad with that.

By the way, how do you know she has 61 pairs of shoes? Did you count them? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Myrta

Myrta - I agree, and it is funny, because her appearance is probably part of why Traicionado was attracted to her in the first place. Now he's complaining.

I wonder if the pool guy will be able to keep her in the style she has become accustomed to?

ToddAC,

But horses need shoes too!!! And they need twice as many!!!

How much does the cabinet cost? I was never very good at my guzintas (you know like 2 guzinta 4 two times, etc.). To calculate my breakeven point, do I assume the sick horse, the dying horse or my "dream" horse?

Do I assume the glass cabinet is an endothermic or exothermic process?

BTW, if you and WW do end up in D (and that sounds like a real possibility at the moment), how will you divide up the dolls? Do you have any favorites?

I really don't need help in giving WW ideas on things to collect. Swarovski was her first. Persian carpets fell in there somewhere. Golf gloves. Forgot about that one. That was hugely expensive. Men's golf gloves are great. They come in white. Period. Women's golf gloves come in more colors than you can imagine. WW would find a pretty color she liked (e.g. sunset saffron) and buy it. The glove never cost that much but she would suddenly realize that she did not have an outfit to go with it. You know what? I am sure I forgot to include the golf shoes in the shoe count come to think of it!

Do you know what WW's passion was when I first met her? Tupperware. Still is. She is a sucker for tupperware.

Do you know what attracted me to WW? Her smile. That is what conquered me. I still remember that day.

I didn't count the shoes - she did. I don't know why she did but she did - and she only did it a few weeks ago. I will count the golf shoes though.

I have never complained about her appearance or the way she dresses except that here, she pushes boundaries that she should not push. If we go to Bahrain or Dubai, I have always encouraged her to cover as little as she wants to cover - to just be herself. There are just certain rules here in the KSA. She knows them and yet she always wants to push the limits. I like to wear shorts in the summer but I don't here (except in the expat areas) because it is not acceptable for men to wear shorts or tank tops. Short sleeves are allowed for men. Fortunately we don't have mutawa on camp - otherwise WW would be in jail and I would be sentenced to lashing and that is no joke. I would get the lashings because it is the husband's responsibility to insure that the wife obeys the rules here. So far she has been smart enough to not cross a mutawa.

But they are in love - none of that matters. Worldly things mean nothing as long as they have their love for each other. Can't you understand that?

traicionado,

Horses indeed need shoes. In the summer desert, they may need insulated shoes.

The cost of the cabinet depends on the wood and whether you want solid wood or veneer. If you want veneer, you must specify the substrate, i.e., MDF, Plywood, solid wood planks or PB. Do you want beveled glass? Adjustable shelves? Glass shelves? Wood shelves? What type of internal lighting in the cabinet? Humidification type? BTW, custom cabinets are a must because they design the dolls such that they fit in no cabinet currently being manufactured.

If we D, she can have the dolls. She has 40 GWTW dolls alone!!! I’ll take the cabinets. Walnut please. Solid. I will display all my guitars in the cabinets. I have 40 guitars. Every time she buys a GWTW doll, I buy another guitar. It’s our little arrangement. For the cost of one cabinet, WW could have purchased 2,287 pairs of designer shoes.

“Do I assume the glass cabinet is an endothermic or exothermic process?”

Depends on the humidification system...that’s part of Boyles Law, right????

“To calculate my breakeven point, do I assume the sick horse, the dying horse or my "dream" horse?”

The horse with the cough.

What I am saying to you is count your blessings. If WW gave up the dolls and especially the cabinets, I would happily buy as many shoes as she desires. And yes, man, she loves to dress up. It is part of what makes these Latina women special.

Wow! You must have more guitars than Carlos Santana.

Oh and I have counted my blessings. It's 2.

"But they are in love - none of that matters. Wordly things mean nothing as long as they have their love for each other. Can't you understand that?"

Yeah right. Talk about fantasy.

Traicionado.....pretty romantic stuff that you still remember the smile that attracted you to Gemela. I am sure she misses that part about you, the romantic,the little gestures. A woman gets more pleasure and more satisfaction from having her spouse,boyfriend,companion, take notice on little details of oneself. Not so much into buying her 20 pairs of shoes at a time. Although I am sure she enjoys that too. But what attracted your wife to the OM, I am sure it was the attention he gave her. The attention that we latin women thirst and seek to have always in our lives.

She is still very young and she is somewhat into attention and adoration. Its difficult to be so attentive of little details in a marriage when there are young children in the house. Try to give her more attention for herself. She knows the OM is no good for her, even if she is saying the contrary. If she admits he is no good, she will feel worst about herself . I did that for a long time too. OMs cannot be good people if they get involved with us , married women.

Myrta