Oh, good to hear that. Just checking. My WH started having "problems" at 50, but Viagra fixed that right up.

Then he took off with the OW.

PS - He still has to use V with her - ha-ha, did my heart good.

Up till now, I haven't needed to consider medication. I am sure it will happen some day. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Not to worry just yet. Where is Senora Gemela? Hopefully she will post again. She is getting good advice.

I am betting she will post today. It is almost 7AM and I am guessing I won't see her before about 8AM (maybe later).

Is there something I might need to start worrying about before too long? You just put me in a panic!

I was just about to get myself psyched up to get back into "nothing happened for the longest time" mode but now you do have me worried. Did I do something wrong yesterday?

If you were my husband, and didn't finish, I would be very concerned. But you say that is normal for you, so don't worry. We'll see what Gemela has to say.

Okay tracheotomy,

You are accusing me of dealing in crack cocaine??? Where is the world did that come from???? HUH????

Okay all is fair in war. I will now tell everyone how you got me playing that stoopid online drinking game and got me to drink too much and how it lead to my headache I cannot get rid of. So, now you want a truce I bet! Too late the gauntlet has been thrown down!!!

Just kidding folks.

Hey from now on, every time I read one of your posts, I have to go take a shower. Either that or pray...

ToddAC,

You yourself said you had a crack accountant. What else could it be for? Please stop with the "online drinking game". I am getting hammered with PM's on SI. Seriously you cannot drink alcohol. It isn't funny. It will totally mess up your blood chemistry.

believer,

Normal? No not normal. I never stop unless I think or know gemela is in discomfort. It does happen some times and is a function of time. I simply have never put my own wants and desires above hers. Sometimes we can alter things a bit to ease the discomfort but, last night, she was also very tired and sleepy. She told me she was tired so we stopped. I don't think it happens with great frequency but it does happen.

So you are getting hammered with PM's? That is so funny. I have a big possee over there. Wait until I release the second wave of warriors! I haven't had a drop to drink since you had me playing that stoopid game.

Seriously, I quit drinking all together about six years ago. Never had a problem; just decided to try clean living for a while. Look where it got me!! All it took playing that game was two measily little drinks. I am back to not drinking one little bit.

Don't worry because I am not planning on doing anything stupid. I am in a funk. I think the only thing I may do is go get AD. Here we can buy most anything OTC so I will just get what gemela takes.

Yesterday we mostly spent apart. WW slept very late so I made breakfast for everyone and was about to take WW's to her in bed when she showed up. She woke up and smelled the bacon - literally. DD's and friends were building a clubhouse out of empty boxes from new neighbor's move so I took most of AM doing design construction work. They now have a small kitchen and cafe with seating area for two customers, etc. Meanwhile WW painted the back garden gate. I helped her when I needed to - removed hardware, etc. but, for the most part, we spent little time together.

We left DDs with neighbor and played 9 holes. Both played badly but it was pleasant enough. When we got back, we each went to our separate tasks. I was sitting out front watching all the girls play in their clubhose (has karaoke too forgot to mention) and I was thinking to myself - I am just not happy. Why am I doing this? Why am I trying to save a marriage with someone who doesn't love me and is not making me happy and has no desire to make me happy? All the while I am thinking this, I am looking at my DDs and listening to them laugh. I think if I had any more tears left, I would have used them. That is how I felt - just wanted to cry. I guess that describes it best.

WW knows something is not right. I try to put on a happy face for her but it is impossible. Last night she held me in bed as we went to sleep but I am guessing she will get fed up with this too before long.

Neither one of us is happy. Why are we doing this?

As I said, I am not going to do anything stupid. I wasn't even going to post. I am learning to loathe posting. I would much rather sit down and feel sorry for myself. I think that is what I will go do.

Traicionado...how long again since your DD? You know, that feeling of not being happy is there for a long time. It eventually leaves and happiness and contentment settles in. But of course YOU and Gemela have to be sure that you both want that marriage to work out. Dont think that you have to feel happy so fast. This is not an easy thing to do. Recovering a marriage after an Affair is extremely hard work, not for the weak!! You both have to work hard at it, to make it work and be a happy marriage again.

Dont feel sorry for yourself, you dont gain anything by it.
Try to do fun things with each other, golfing, eating out, watching TV, any other thing you find fun. Everything will eventually fall in its place.

Dday was in July 05 and last known contact was January 28, 2006.

When do you know you have come to the conclusion that this is not what you want?

I am hearing a lot of comments out of WW over the past few days that remind me of her during the A.

Examples:

I told her that I liked her as a person. She replied that everyone likes her because she is so nice.

I tell her she is beautiful. She says she is not. Yesterday someone told her she was beautiful and she ate it up. I asked her why she was so beautiful and her reply was that God made her that way.

Pre-affair, she never talked like that. Her words just seem cold now.

Traicionado....when an affair is going on, the OM is always ,always saying how beautiful we are!! Feeding our ego!! Telling us how beautiful, how smart,etc,etc, we are. We fall for it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> unfortunately. Gemela is insecure now, and she was before. She needs to hear this a lot,(that she is the best!!) it makes her feel good. Especially right now!!

When does a couple knows that enough is enough? I guess when you had both really tried to make the marriage work for like a year after DD, and things are still the same. My oppinion!! You cannot be feeling miserable forever, is not fair for YOU or for her!

Like you said, you are in a funk right now, and you are feeling down in the dumps, "down and under" You will come out of this, and be optimistic again. Stanley had many days like that, he was ready to throw in the towel!! It will be two years for us in June 1st, I think we made it!!

P.S. It has not been that long for you. YOu are still in
the wild rollercoaster ride. Many bumps, many ups and
downs. If you both want this marriage, you will get
thru all those bumps and wild turns.

Do I count my year from Dday or last contact?

Well....its suppose to be from last contact. Before that, she was not really working in recovering the marriage.
So its only been a little bit over two months for you and Gemela...Very short time!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Myrta,

How will I ever know that gemela wants the M? What is the indication? I don't think just maintaining NC is the thing. Even after she may decide she no longer is interested in the OM, she still may decide she doesn't want the M. I am dealing with complete opposites here. Every time something goes bad, it turns out great. Every time something starts to go good, it turns out bad.

If things keep on like this till next January, maybe I am not strong enough for that. It is difficult to think of the next 10 months in misery. Nice to have a time limit though. That helps.

It is difficult to be positive and happy all the time like Plan A requires. I know my depression helps nothing and hurts everything. Plan A just does not give a person an opportunity to be human. So far I like cc46's concept of Plan A better than any other I have read.

Well Traicionado...the indication that Gemela wants the marriage and YOU, is that she will happier, she will be more receptive to you. You will know!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

It seems like you are giving up on the marriage,when you just begin to try to save it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> You have to be strong for the sake of your kids right now! then for you and Gemela. Your little girls will suffer greatly if they see their parents separate. Dont you think

That Plan A is kind of weird if you ask Stanley and me. How can you act "happy" all the time? You had not been thru a pleasant experience. I mean, you can try, to be as nice as possible, but I am sure any normal human being will get angry or sad a lot of the times!!Just try to treat as nice as possible and with love (if you still do) and try to do it. If you cannot do it, Trai, time will tell!
"No hay mal que dure 100 anos, ni cuerpo que lo resista" Did you understand that famous spanish saying? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Gemela seems to be in the right frame of mind by reading her latests post. She wants to be where she is, there in Saudi! So, just give it a good try!!

Myrta

Have you heard from Todd? Is he doing allright? He has not posted since last night!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Myrta

You are much too early in this to give up. Your wife seems to be going through withdrawal. She is exactly like the usual WS. She has lots of complaints, and they seem to change from day to day. But that is how they all are. Don't give up.

Have not heard from ToddAC Friday on any channels. Last post on SI was still about blazing headaches and I have not gotten any emails in a day. I have two emergency contacts if I need them but sometimes I think his headaches get the better of him. His MRI is not till Monday.

Entiendo Español mayormente bien. Es la primera vez que había escuchado tal dicho pero lo entiendo. Ayer acordé a gemela que me había prometido decirme si tiene alguna queja. Me dijo que, por el momento, no se puede quejar de nada y está contenta sobre todo.

Déjame ver que me está diciendo believer.

I don't know why I get like this. I really don't. Is there just something fundamentally wrong with me? Do all BH's suffer this?