Modified to take out the male bashing. I was in a bad mood that day

I got this stuff from public web sites that list government statistics and from web sites where professionals attempt to define statistics for affairs.

The impossible statistic.

If you do a comprehensive search for infidility statistics, you will be confronted with estimates that are all over the place. Given that people lie to investigators and that women tend to lie more than men, we are left with estimates and the estimates are horrific by any measure even if you believe all the people who say they didn't do it.

That said, there are some statistics that can be verified because they are public record. Here are some that relate to divorce.

Marriages that survive until; Year 5 - 82%, Year 10 - 65%, Year 15 - 52%, Year 25 - 33%.

Percentages of divorce (1997) show a rate of 50% at some point in the marriage for first marriages and 60% for second marriages. Looks like a lot of people do not learn from their first try, which should be no surprise or maybe there is something in the statistic.

The percentage for those who admit infidility is the cause of the divorce is 17%. I suspect (absolute certainty) that the rate is much higher because irreconcilable differences is 59%, a catch all where people don't want to explain their reason(s). In point of fact, some professionals that include lawyers who should know, is that affairs are THE main cause of divorces.

Public statistics for infidility range from a low of 23% for women to over 80% for men. Additional statistics and opinions place the rate of infidility for women at nearly 60% and drop the rate for men to 70-75%.

Peggy Vaughn believes that the rate of infidility in marriages approaches 80%. She arrives at this conclusion by comparing the rate for women against the rate for men. Not all men cheat and not all women cheat. One or the other will cheat or in some cases, both will cheat. Whoopie.

Whatever the statistics, there is no doubt that infidility has been with us throughout recorded history and is likely to be at a very, very high rate currently.

Ok, if we belive Peggy Vaughn, and we believe the lawyers, then we come up with an educated guess or two. Speculate that infidility is the cause of 80% of divorces, and the divorce rate is 50% (known fact), thus about half of those who have affairs get a divorce and half do not.

Remember, we are playing with statistics, not your particular situation. We are also dealing with my conclusions based on public records. You are more than welcome to do your own research.

Here are some more statistics. I have seen professionals who state that less than 25% of affairs result in a marriage for the affairees. Other professionals detail the statistic as about 5%, with the most credible posting a 3% rate. This comes from gleaning through over 30 web sites and reading, reading, reading.
Quote:


Here is what Peggy Vaughn says:

Conservative estimates are that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved�since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages.



Ok, so far, we have 80% of marriages infected by an affair, with half of them resulting in a divorce, with a 25% down to 3% rate of the affairees ending up in marriage. To point out lying, 41% of those surveyed said they had had an affair. 60% of those surveyed said they had been cheated on. The ones in the middle of that statistic are obviously lying.

An even more credible statistic shows that 64% of marriages where there was an affair do NOT result in a divorce, while 78% of those marriages that did stay intact are described as empty.

So what have we learned so far. A bunch of people are doing it and a bunch more are doing it and lying about it. That should come as no shock to anyone.

Here is my bottom line.

Roughly 60% to 80% of marriages - one or both spouses cheat.

Half of those marriages result in divorce - 40% of all marriages - or less, the number is actually declining in part because of web resources like this one so it would seem looking at the traffic on the web sites that deal with infidelity.

In about 10% (or less) of the cases where there is a divorce the affairees marry. There is a 75% probability of divorce in such marriages versus 60% for "normal" second marriages generally, which itself is skewed by the 75% rate. In other words, the 75% rate pulls the 60% rate higher, above the 50% rate for first marriages.

Statistically, there is a less than ONE to THREE PERCENT chance that the affairees will find long term happiness. And given the devastation they leave behind, that one is not even something to be hoped for or proud of. Overall, there can be less trauma in a divorce than there is in an affair for any number of reasons. in my opinion. But of course there IS trauma in a divorce.

Statistically, there is only a 20 - 30% chance that the marriage will be restored to something that is really desirable for both parties.

Here is the bottom line FROM WHAT I HAVE LEARNED. Your mileage may vary.

Affairs happen in upwards of 80% of marriages.

The affairees - Less than 3% happiness with each other long term. Divorce for the rest and they move on with their lives to find whatever they find, hopefully wiser.

The marriage - 25% of those who stay together find happiness (of the 40% who do stay together), meaning that TEN PERCENT find happiness. That is a rate four to ten times higher than for the affairees.

Why don't they teach this in school? It probably wouldn't make any difference. Affairs touch and devastate so many lives in our society as to boggle the mind. Affairees get their moment in the sun, followed by devastation to themselves in upwards of 99% of the time, while marriages end up devastated at least 80% of the time, maybe closer to 90%. And that means that there a ton of betrayed spouses who experience what they experience.