Sheba,<P>It sounds like you have fallen into a trap that I set for myself quite often. When you ask your h to do something with you, you expect him to say no, so you ask the question in a manner that makes it easy for him to do so, that way nobody really gets pulled out of their comfort zone. My counselor said a better way to do it is to say, "I am going out to breakfast on Saturday at 9:00. I'd really like it if you came along." That lets him know that you want to be with him, but you are in no way trying to manipulate his answer. It also lets him know that you are going with or without him. The hard part is that you have to open yourself up and be vulnerable in letting him know you want to spend time with him.<P>Happy??? Anniversary. My 12th was a week after h confessed his affair. I bought him a card and left it for him. He thought that my doing this was just to make him feel bad. That truly was not my intention, but that was his interpretation. Be prepared for something similar from you h, but hope for a better response.<P>Keep wearing your rings, always act married, and who knows, maybe h will notice! Good luck! God is very gracious. I know he has carried me through this part of my life!! He is right there with you too

Hi Everyone -<P>Thanks for replying and I'll get back on individual's in a little while.<P>A little update:<P>Just found out that my "miracle" with the rings was helped along by Heidi....<P>Do you all remember Heidi? For those who don't...she is my 4 yr old niece who's going on 40!! She had mentioned my rings before and was very aware that my H was clueless!!<P>Anyway, I went to their house for coffee this morning and was telling my SIL about the rings and the dream....Heidi comes into the kitchen crying and I asked her what was wrong...she said" that wasn't God, Auntie Sheba, that was me!!"<P>I asked her what she meant and she said that she took the chains and "fixed" them cuz they were tangled. I'm sorry that I went in the room but I HAD to make them look neat."<P>I told her that I accepted her apology and that for ONLY this one time it was OK even though kids aren't allowed in my room without my knowing about it. Then I said that God must have wanted her to help get a message to me...She brightene up on that one and jumped down from my lap and said with a big smile "Good, then I have a job, too!!" She gave me big hugs and kisses and took off to go play.....<P>This kid is too much....sometimes the love for them just overwhelms me!!<P>So, it seems that the "miracle" wasn't so miraculous after all, which is kind of good because I was pretty freaked by it!!! Is still strange how they fell at that moment though.......<P>Geez - my life is too weird - even for me sometimes...and I'm used to it!!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Sheba,<P>God does use 4yr olds

Amen,Derby, Amen !!!!!!! All He needs is someone who will listen when He prompts thier hearts, and who is better at that than a little one ?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Sheba<P>Anniversaries are tough. I spent my 20th, in July, on vacation with my kids without my wife. Since I was in plan B, I did not send a card or anything, and received nothing. Your posts are always some of my favorites. You have chosen to stay soft and alive, not hard and bitter, even though your H is whacked most of the time. <P>Infidelity is insane, and until that clouds from that clear in his soul he will drive you nuts. I know that firsthand. My W's affair is apparently over, but she is unrelenting in divorce. 2 weeks maybe till it's over. Sigh.<P>Hang in there. I am still praying for a miracle, for you, and for my situation.<BR>

Sheba - Just want to add my well wishes to everyone else's for a happy anniversary. And thank you for sharing your story, which is really wonderful, especially the miracle of the rings (helped out a little by God in the form of a 4-year old girl!) I think the messes we get into with our marriages make us all more than a little crazy, so I can probably appreciate a little where your whack-a-doodled H is coming from. Maybe he's starting to realize what life without you will be like and he don't like what he sees! BTW, also many thanks for your responses to my posts. I always look forward to reading them. Take care. I think the Big Guy up there IS looking out for you! Regards, blessings, hugs and well-wishes for a happier future,<P>--Wex