Hey cc,

Actually I have been talking about "head lice" behind his back for a long time.

He is not cute. He IS a child.

Sorry Mom, just kidding. Your son is a good friend and we joke with each other.

Hello from Atlanta by the way...

And cc, yes he is a pest.

Now let me see, what is a good nickname for T?

Hey, remember the story he told about leading the group out of the cave?

We could call him caveman!! Sort of fits his controlling approach (duck!).

cc, have you ever read the poetry of Pablo Neruda?

Todd, I'm glad you have a better idea of who he is than he does! But if we change his name too much he's gonna get even more confused!

Yes I did read Neruda, a long time ago, when I was in high school. I don't read much in spanish.

I wish I knew Spanish well enough to read Neruda in his native language. Poetry especially loses something in translation.

Do you like the screename caveman?

I think HE would hate caveman.

I was walking the dog and thought of another one: Ladilla
you know the lice that are NOT on your head, but now I realize that it ends in an "a" so we can{t use it. What about pendejo?

Who said HE gets a choice? He could have stayed here and defended himself and chose to leave while we do the hard work of selecting a new name for him. No, it is up to us!

pendejo? Well, that is a word I know well! cc, I cannot believe you said that!!

But yes, it works for me...

Why not? it has a technical meaning...

But I think it suits him just fine. Unfortunately we can't change it without his consent, or can we?

Technical meaning yes. And T is very technical.

We would need to bust his password...

Well you would know more than me about that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But I think it would make a LOVELY surprise for him when he gets back all relaxed from the spa, don't you think?

Why do I get the feeling that T. will not be able to relax at the spa?

'cause he NEVER relaxes!

Never relaxes is true. But always analyzing!! I have cajoled him to take it easy but do you think he listens to me? NOoooooo...

try harder!

The last email I sent him in which I urged him to take it easy, he sent me a five page analysis why he could not...

Hello Tracionado!

I have been following your thread. Just popping to say... Don't let me down. I am hanging by what you told me on my thread.

Thanks so much for your advise. That's all that is keeping me from going down right now, really down <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

All in a mess with this trip... but I am holding it as best as I can. H returns today and I just keep remembering your words to stop me from doing something stupid.
Like leaving before he arrives... at least for a few days... or lock the door.... or whatever... but then I know he would not spend his time with the girls and I can't leave them with the maid for so long <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Thanks

And I hope you enjoy your holidays.

PS: Lutador for the screen name? Not sure it's a spanish word... but it's portuguese for sure <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

lost - sorry to hear you are having it so bad right now - what is going on?

lost,

T is on a trip for a few days.

Are you okay?

Thanks both of you for your concern.

I am just too confused and tired. I updated my post.

I am still sticking to Tracionado words and will try to be calm and rational and sane. I really feel insane right now <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Time is coming and I really don't feel like going home.
I really don't know how to deal with this and with H.

Guys I am back but in a bit of a mess. AC broke down and it is 46 degrees (C) here, DD2 got too much sun. WW forgot to take out trash (combined with no AC).

Well.

I will post in the AM (12 hours from now). I have something to say.

WW enjoyed her spa BTW and everything is fine.

AC is now fixed and front and back yards are clean. DD1 is asleep and WW took DD2 to the practice range to try out her new pink shaft golf clubs so I have not much to do at the moment.

We got to Bahrain Wednesday night. Thursday morning we all went to drop off WW at her spa (we couldn't get reservations in that hotel so we were staying on the other side of Manama. We left WW at 9:00AM and got in a taxi to go try to find a tamagotchi but the stores don't open til 10 so we got out of the taxi and went back into the hotel so DDs could eat breakfast. They ate but I didn't. About 9:45 we got another taxi and went to stand in front of Toys R Us. I felt better waiting there than at the hotel because DDs were wrestless. While I was standing in fron of Toys R Us - for about 15 minutes before it opened - I was thinking. I was thinking about how unfair this whole A business was. I was thinking how hurt I felt and it bothers me so much that WW has not the slightest remorse for the pain she has caused us. I felt like I had been cheated out of a happy marriage and how much I really wanted gemela out of my life. I was thinking about how unfortunate it was that we can't just go our separate ways because of the DDs. They just complicate the whole situation. I felt the entire weight of sacrificing my happiness for theirs. I felt like everything was closing in on me and my WW was off having a great time getting her spa treatment. And to make matters worse I had to go to the mall to get her Lancaster sun screen because she is starting to get wrinkles around the eyes. I just felt like I don't really love gemela any more.

And while I was standing there thinking all this, it occurred to me that I don't have to love gemela. It is my choice to love her. I don't have to be happy with gemela. I can decide to be happy with her or not. That too is my choice. So while I was standing there thinking all this, I decided to choose to do those two things - love her and be happy with her. And I did. And I felt much better. So the rest of the weekend went very well.

I like National Geographic channel and they have a program called Moments from Disaster or something like that and they go back a retrace the events leading up to some tragedy and more often than not something very minor and simple began a chain of events that led to the disaster.

Well gemela had shaved her legs this AM and went to the spa. During the course of the treatment, she had to take a salt water jacuzzi and later got a leg rubdown with stones. Anyway, if she wouldn't have shaved her legs, everything would have been fine. It wasn't. Her legs were pretty sensitive the entire day.

As we were packing up to leave the hotel, gemela had to look for something in her bag for one of the DDs and cut a big chunk out of the end of one finger. She later discovered it was the razor she had put in there. This hurt bad and hampered her the rest of the day. So this razor really did cut both ways.

We are back home now and all is pretty calm. I am doing the best I can trying to remind myself to be happy with gemela. I am reminding myself she only has 3.5 months of NC. I am reminding myself that we each need time. I am trying to be as happy as I can given the situation I am in. It is the DDs that keep me going.

It has always been DD's that have kept you going.

Yes, you can choose to love G. You have done that for some time. You can also put the glue that holds love together behind it - actions. You know, love is a verb and all that. What will be missing and you need to be mindful of it, are feelings. Sooner or later, you will need those feelings of love back, or you will lead one hollow, empty existence.

Here's the great news and my affirmation today: those feelings can and will return. Don't force them because you can't. But, when they appear, give up the hurt and pain and exchange them for the feelings you want back. It will be your gift to yourself for all the feelings you have buried and all the hard work you have done.

Never, ever my friend, forget you in this process or lose sight of what a good man you are.