hmmm... I believe he is more of an ENFP... which personalitypage says is my "natural partner" (I'm INTJ, sometimes INFJ) ... I was hoping it would tell me we're NOT matches. Because:
- extreme dislike of conflict
- constant conquest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
- may become bored easily
Very much like my xH. But he was an ESFP. I was thinking that I needed to stay away from the E and P part. But those are the parts that I'm finding over and over... that intrigue me... and balance me.
But if I was attracted to an ENFP, that would be OK? ... how could I ever trust him....
Hi Faith,
The trick is to find a HEALTY ENFP. I think nelly (nia) is an ENFP. My H's exW was an ENFP. nelly is grounded and loyal. My H's ex was a fruit loop, always looking for greener grass, monkey-bar type of relationships - cant let go of one till the other is firmly attached (read: cheating OK). Always looking for Prince Charming, and if any relationship got complicated/hard, she took it as a sign that it wasnt meant to be.
I think we do need opposites to provide balance to the marriage. My exH and I were pretty close in type (him ISTJ, me ENTJ). Both quick thinkers, logical, very organized. He took it to the 'anal control freak' level, where I can be pretty relaxed about 'stuff', as long as everything is running smoothly. (I'm not a neat-freak, but I do have a perfect credit rating). Him: nit-pik the small stuff, ME: worry about the big picture.
My current H is my 4-letter opposite. Looks like your exH was your 4-letter opposite, too. NT's and SP's work because they have many of the same goals (keep things simple/make sense/effieciency).
NT's and NF's are said to have the same communication style. NF's are known as the Drama Queens of MBTI, but are supposed to be the logical mate for the NT. I've never dated one. NF's and NT's are rare (about 3% each). 'F' are usually women, so a NF male is very rare. If he's healthy, he's worth hanging onto!
I can see how NF's should be good for NT's:
SJ's can be too rigid for NT's
SP's can be too 'light' for NT's.
NF's have neat, wondering minds which NT's like. But that also leads to the 'becoming bored, easliy' and 'looking for greener grass' that you are worried about. NF's also need things to be 'lovely' so that extreme dislike of conflict fits right in.
I dont remember your situation... How was your H's childhood? Any problems with the law/drugs/alcho/gambling etc? Is he generally healthy or generally unhealthy?
They say the P/J causes the most confict. My H is a huge P, I'm an huge J. He can really drive me crazy being so unorganized. But with my ex, we never stopped to smell the roses. My H is great for making me take time to enjoy, rather than just rush through, an experience. I NEED that, as much as it can bug me.
I had lots of sites saved, but lost them with in a recent computer crash. I'll try to find something if you need... Good luck - Dru
