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Joined: Oct 2000
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I officially have a stalker. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
My old boyfriend. He's been contacting my elderly Dad ... trying to worm his way into Dad's life so he can make contact with me. I have NO DOUBT this is his motive.
This is a bad thing. I have ZERO interest in any contact/friendship/reunion with this man ... a man I 'went with' for 14 years ... before my marriage.
Here's what I did .... I POJA'd with my H. I informed my family members that this man was looking for ways to find me. I asked for their cooperation and help in keeping him away from Dad ...
I told Dad that this man is not trustworthy and may even be considered dangerous (he's stalked me before) ... but I could tell my Dad thinks I am over-playing this ... but trust me, I am not.
Why am I writing this post?
To share with all of you what you can do when the past comes knocking .... you DON'T have to open the door ... just to be polite.
It is not only OK to be IMpolite .. in can also be wise to be downright rude and unfriendly.
Take care everyone. Guard the gates of your marriage from predatory snakes.
Love,
Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: May 2002
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Would it help to send him a letter (no return address) that you don't ever want to see him, and if he contacts you you will seek a RO?
Or will that just encourage him?
SS
BTW, Hope DS, and DD are well. Assume DH, and Pep are well.
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Pep --- Not only does he want you back.....
We do too !!!!!
(I hope this is taken in the spirit in which it is written )
Miss you Pep,
carnation
Me - BS 55
WH/FWH 50
OW 30
Much evidence says that my H was/is
deeply involved in a very long term PA
Prolly will never know much more than that
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Hey Pep, we misses ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I'm going 2 relay a version of this story 2 a certain FWW I know as an example of why POJAing a recovery plan that starts with something like NCing the FOP - regardless of whether they're remarried or not - is called for.
Always.
-ol' 2long
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Joined: May 2004
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Not only is it okay to be rude it is vitally important, and the authorities need be involved at the first opportunity to do so.
Pep you may remember I was attacked brutally by a stalker (coworker/former bf) in Reno...so this topic is touchy to me.
There is nothing more abusive/frightening then being stalked.
Stalking = any attempt to contact after the party has made it clear that your attention is unwanted!
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Joined: Jul 2005
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About 5 years ago, my H's old GF emailed him. Together, we emailed her back that he was married, great life, etc. End of story, right?
Wrong.
Last January she emailed him again. That led to an EA and a one time physical encounter.
I wish we had not been quite so nice 5 years ago.
live and learn
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Pep-
Ick.....that man needs a hobby.
I'm glad that you handled that the way you did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Of course I wouldn't have doubted you for a second.
And I 2nd Carnation's Post.....I want you back too!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39 WH-37 Together 15 years Married 12 years 7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16. Mine: DD22, DD15 Ours: DD12 Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Joined: Sep 2000
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Snakes on Bikes!!!
Yikes!
You want me to round up Vinny and Gino and their concrete mixer?
Seriously, I know you're smart enough to take advantage of legal resounces at the first sign of trouble.
Perhaps you should wear that face you keep in the jar by the door?
Be careful.
WAT
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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WAT
This is the "famous" sailor I once told you about ... snake A hole
Everyone ... I am just fine ... and if that snake ever slithers near my Dad again I'm sending in either
A. the marines or B. Mel from Texas ... whoever is available at the time....
can of whoopass ??? No... nuclear whoopass warhead is more like it <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I am in no mood to massage anyone's ego or blow sunshine up anyone's butt when they are intruding UNwelcome advances .... and have been told "NO, go away" already.
Keep safe everyone
I am still on MB vacation .... BUT If there is another Southern Calif get-together ... I am sooooooo IN ! ToofLong or FaithfulFlower will email or call me.
Much love
Pep
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Pep...
Enjoy your "vacation", but don't be a stranger for too long, K?
Mrs. Dubya
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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