Does anyone know if the Harleys have ever addressed this question, or where they stand on it?

Does anyone know where I might find a counselor who believes this sort of thing exists and might be able to help with it?

Any BS here feel they are suffering from infidelity-induced PTSD?

Thanks -
Mulan

mine was so bad i went into full blown aggoraphobia and didnt leave the house for over 2 yrs!!!

Post deleted by Cherished

Mulan-

So you are asking about PTSD that's *caused* by the affair?

You know, I don't even know the symptoms of it, I probably should.

God Bless,

-Caren

Mulan,

I've been diagnosed twice in my life with PTSD...the first time was post-combat. I dealt with it rather easy compared to most. Treated with appropriate medications and counseling, and got over it pretty quickly.

The second time was a result of my wife's affair. I recognized the symptoms myself, talked with both my IC and family doctor and was diagnosed pretty quickly. Started treatment, but this time it seemed pretty ineffective. I've fought it off and on the last two years now. And in truth, the compulsive components of it have been FAR harder to shake than they were the first time.

Yes, the trauma created by an affair CAN trigger PTSD. It's actually been pretty well documented. The good news is that standard treatment is normally pretty effective.

Hope this helps some.

Owl-

What are the symptoms??

God Bless,

-Caren

Thanks to all for your responses.

Owl, could you elaborate a bit on what the treatement was?

And what role, if any, did your FWS play in your recovery? What did the therapists advise on that?
Mulan

Well, in my case, beyond taking pretty much the standard steps needed to recover from an affair, my wife didn't really do anything to address the PTSD specifically. But, many of the actions she took to help us recover from her affair were also helpful in dealing with the PTSD. Her accountabiliity, being an "open book", actually and actively working on MC for both of us to deal with what led to the A and how to recover and prevent it from happening again...all of these things helped in dealing with the PTSD.

As far as symptoms of PTSD, I pulled this off of a website...and for your viewing pleasure I will highlight the ones that I dealt/deal with.

The symptoms of PTSD include:

1. sleep problems including nightmares and waking early
2. flashbacks and replays which you are unable to switch off
3. impaired memory, forgetfulness, inability to recall names, facts and dates that are well known to you
4. impaired concentration
5. impaired learning ability (eg through poor memory and inability to concentrate)
6. hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
7. exaggerated startle response
8. irritability, sudden intense anger, occasional violent outbursts
9. panic attacks
10. hypersensitivity, whereby every remark is perceived as critical
11. obsessiveness - the experience takes over your life, you can't get it out of your mind
12. joint and muscle pains which have no obvious cause
13. feelings of nervousness, anxiety
14. reactive depression (not endogenous depression)
15. excessive levels of shame, embarrassment
16. survivor guilt for having survived when others perished or for not having done more to help or save others
17. a feeling of having been given a second chance at life
18. undue fear
19. low self-esteem and shattered self-confidence
20. emotional numbness, anhedonia (inability to feel love or joy)
21. feelings of detachment
22. avoidance of anything that reminds you of the experience
23. physical and mental paralysis at any reminder of the experience

Personally, as a result of the affair I experienced 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, and 21.

Trauma is trauma...sometimes the source doesn't matter, it often creates the same affects.

Hope this helps you a little.

Oh, and treatment for me was with an anti-depressant that was also designed to treat PTSD, coupled with IC counseling. The counseling was primarily to help re-direct my thought processes so that I could work on breaking the obsessive thoughts and anxiety.

Both met with decent success I guess. Between that and simply having some time distant between now and when it happened, and the positive changes in my marriage to indicate that it SHOULDN'T happen again, day to day coping isn't nearly as difficult as it was for a while.

I don't post much any more, but drop in and watch. I am constantly amazed at how much I still learn by being here and reading what others write. This was an excellent post, and I am finding it very helpful. Thank you so much, mulan and owl. And others.

I was diagnosed OCD and PTSD after I found out about OC. I had nearly all of the symptoms that Owl listed and was treated with zoloft.

Made all the difference in my personal recovery, I must say. Have been off the zoloft for about a year now.

- Kimmy

Zoloft was what I was taking as well. I likely should have stayed on it longer, but for various reasons I quit taking it after about six months. It did help...just couldn't handle some of the other side affects.

>side affects

I didn't feel any. But then, girls are different critters than boys. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Whoever wrote this list must have been watching me for quite some time, because I have got each and every one of these exactly as described and all are quite severe:

1. sleep problems including nightmares and waking early
2. flashbacks and replays which you are unable to switch off
4. impaired concentration
6. hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
7. exaggerated startle response
8. irritability, sudden intense anger, occasional violent outbursts
9. panic attacks
10. hypersensitivity, whereby every remark is perceived as critical
11. obsessiveness - the experience takes over your life, you can't get it out of your mind
13. feelings of nervousness, anxiety
14. reactive depression (not endogenous depression)
15. excessive levels of shame, embarrassment
19. low self-esteem and shattered self-confidence
20. emotional numbness, anhedonia (inability to feel love or joy)
21. feelings of detachment
22. avoidance of anything that reminds you of the experience
23. physical and mental paralysis at any reminder of the experience

As I said, all of these are severe and make it difficult to function at times.

WH thinks there is simply "something wrong" with me and that it has NOTHING to do with him. It is impossible to make him understand and reaching out to him to help me is worse than useless.

I despise the thought of having to take antidepressants so that I can tolerate living with him in a part-time marriage. He thinks that's what the solution is. I think the solution is POJA and making the marriage a priority. Those ideas only makes him angry and miserable.
Mulan

Well, I wasn't a BS, but a former WW and I had PTSD before the affair from childhood abuse.

Yep, I have experienced many of the symptons of PTSD. I remember a while back Mimi mentioning it and it dawned on me that was what I was experiencing.

I was diagnosed with PTSD after being held down and gang-raped at age 12. I have struggled with recurrent nightmares, exaggerated embarrassment,then severe insomnia as well as exaggerated startle, and panic attacks all along.

I was re-diagnosed with PTSD after the affair. At that point most of the rest of the list of symptoms came heavily into play, especially the difficulty in concentration, and really an overall inability to function. I'm a fulltime student. I am being treated with Zoloft mainly because it helps both the anxiety and the panic attacks effectively as well as helping the coping skills.

I haven't been taking them lately, and I need to start taking them again. I do much better when I'm using them.

This thread is probably a godsend to remind me.

Excuse me, but what is PTSD?

How interesting, I had been wondering about this very thing for a while.

I did pretty well post A, but after the baby died began to show some mild symptoms that made me wonder if that's what it was. The worst for me have been the forgetfulness/inability to concentrate, the occasional zone-out if something triggers me hard enough, and I'm very jumpy.

At least I don't have that kind of sleep problem very often - I fall asleep fast, early, and hard. And it's getting better.

Thank you for clarifying this.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder