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Oh my gosh Orchid, I almost peed my pants when I read this, and I MUST hear more stories!!! OW: L, I'm pregnant.
BS: Who is this?
OW: You know who this is, I'm pregnant.....
BS: Oh you are, why call me? Tell your Husband.....why r u calling me and soooo late? Where is your husband? (by this time the WS was up and I was on the verge of cracking up).
WS asked who was on the phone.... I told him some crazy lady trying to call people to say she is pregnant but afraid to tell her husband?!?!?!? I wonder why?!??! Well by then he knew who it was..... I was laughing hysterically and the WS couldn't understand why. I told him (between my laughing bouts) that this was sooo dumb, couldn't do more than laugh..... what a nut. He started laughing..... it was funny to see his face try to laugh, yet he knew that meant he was agreeing with me and being disloyal to the OW. It was a riot.
Reverse babble....saved a lot of lives that night. LOL!!!
Got more stories.....but I think you get the pix. I LOVE your reverse babble so very much......and I think it would be to the benefit of ALOT of the BS's around here to get some more samples!!! God Bless, -Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Ok Caren, since you asked...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Another PBR (psycho babble rabbit (aka: OW)) story: I was shopping one day @ Costco.... was standing in line at the counter renewing my membership. Son was 6 years old. I believe it was on a Friday evening after work. While in line, I get a phone call from the WS (he was already living out of the house). The convo went something like: Orchid: Hello WS: ...why did you do it. Orchid: Hello? WS: .... you heard me, why did you do it? Orchid: Hello? WS: ....it's me. Orchid: It must be.... why did I do what? WS: You know, take my clothes to her house. Orchid: Wow, that was 6 days ago. It's been hanging on her front porch until now? WS: .....awhh no, I just found out. She said her husband found it. Orchid: Ok, so her husband found your dirty laundry on her front porch? (ok, starting to laugh here) Just a minute, have to step out of line.... (I go and find a little corner between the service counter and the food court) WS: That's what she said, she was mad and I told her I didn't do it. Orchid: So you think I did it? WS: Yes..... she said you put poop in my shorts. Orchid: What??!?! (laughing quite hysterically at this point). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I gotta go.... I will call you back later. I pulled myself together and went shopping...... I kept laughing sooo hard.... it was embarressing. So I decided to call him back while I was shopping. Good thing Costco was very noisy and people were already used to cell phones. LOL!!! BS: Sorry, the signal was bad...... WS: She said her husband found a bag of my work clothes hanging on her front door and it had poop in it. Orchid: (trying hard to gain composure here).... poop, eh? was it animal or human??? (at this point I busted out laughing, had to hide my face, good thing my son was preoccupied with a game). LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> WS: I don't know....did you do this? Orchid: hard or soft? WS: She said it was dry. Orchid: She does have 2 german shephards..... was it their's? WS: She said her husband threw out the poop so she didn't see it. Orchid: (I was busting at the gut by now) Likely story....WS, you believe what she is telling you? WS: I am not sure what to believe but it sure sounds far fetched to me. I know you wouldn't do something like that. Orchid: Ws, you know you left your dirty work clothes here 2 weeks ago when you watched our son...... yes, I did take it the bag of dirty laundry and hang it on her front door but when I did, it didn't have any poop in it. You used t/b a clean person and I know there was no foul smelling poop anywhere in that bag.....now she must be pulling your leg. WS: Yea, maybe she is. Orchid: Where is the dirty laundry? WS: She washed it. Orchid:....really? Wow, guess she is used to poop. LOL!!! Now do you really think there was poop in it? Why would she wash it? Hm.... maybe she ought t/d all your laundry, after all she already knows what you look like nekked. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> What did her husband do? WS: ....I don't know. Orchid: Did you pick up your clothes yet? WS: No. Why did you do it? Orchid: Oh....signals bad again....will call back later. The signal in the store was bad but I was still laughing and had to get back in composure again. LOL!!! Orchid: ...... looks like the signal is stronger now..... WS: ....why did you do it? Orchid: Well, as I said you left your clothes here and I told you how much seeing your things in my home makes me upset. I don't know where you live but I do know where you spend some of your nights....so it just seemed the right thing t/d. WS: I wished you hadn't done that. Orchid: Yea but you gotta admit it was funny..... I would have never thought of putting poop in the bag. Really WS, your OW is really a nut case.....she just has to make a funny incident weird.... She must like yanking your chain. LOL!!! WS: Well, I defended you and said you wouldn't put poop in the bag. Orchid: Just so you know, I didn't....wish I had thought of it though. LOL!!! WS: Yea.... it was kinda funny. Orchid: Gotta go. WS: Bye. Ok, that's my story.....did it happen? Yes. Did I put poop in the bag? No. Was the poop ever in the bag? Not when I dropped it off.... in fact, I had put the clothes in a plastic bag and had examined each piece carefully before I packaged it (was checking pockets and stuff) so I knew for a certainly his clothes didn't have any poop in it. Well at least the OW provided some comic relief. Yea, she was desparate......she made up stories and would try t/d make me look bad.... reverse babble again came to the rescue. Wanna here the story about the 'emotional divorce'? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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You guys really crack me up!!!! I love it!
C-
BS-me (40)
WW (39)
DS11 - The true light of my life!
EA (to become a PA on June 9th)
DDay Feb 5, 2006 ("I do not love you")
Real DD March 22, 2006 ("I think I am a lesbian")
Divorce Pending
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Oh Orchid...LMAO!!! I have actually heard this story before....about you hanging the clothes on her porch, but I'd never heard the blow by blow....You are so hilarious!!!!! An Emotional Divorce Story.........why yes, I'd love to hear it. You are so good at the reverse babble, you can tell how confused your WS was!!!! You rock. I can't wait to hear more <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> God Bless, -Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Orchid,
This is so funny, I can hardly stand it but also would like to hear more.
You really do rock!!!
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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I can't wait until you sign on Orchid......your reverse babble stories are good for me....they crack me up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I always tell new BS's here they need to get ahold of you for some reverse babble lessons...I'm no good at it, but you are the MASTER <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> God Bless, -Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Oh Orchid.........where are you....?? LOL
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Hi Orchid,
We're all here, ears perked. Tell us the Emotional Divorce story pleeease!
I do not blame the xwh for his affairs and abandoning our marriage. He fulfills 90% of the Cleckley Criteria
I forgive him for his insanity and I forgive myself for being gullible to his charms.
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yes pleeeeeze orchid? i need a wittle bedtime stowy!
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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Orchid
My son thinks I am crazy just sitting here LMAO. I have tears rolling down my face. Thanks for the great pick me up!!! More PLEASE...
World
BS 48 me
WH 45
married 23 years
DDay JULY 2005
WH moved out Sept 2005 and moved in w/ow a month later
DD 28
DS 21
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Look how popular you are Orchid <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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U r all sooo funny!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Ok, the next chapter: The Emotional Divorce (OW style) One day long ago......I believe it was right around our wedding anniversary. The OW liked to call up during that week and harass me. She did it for 3 years in a row. This incident happened in the 2nd year after d/d. WS (who I thought was in recovery) was in the shower. I was getting dressed. His cell is lying on the dresser and it buzzes.....that infamous hideous Nextel vibrating buzz. That buzz is a trigger for me until this day. I hate Nextel phones. Sorry Nextel....one of the bad side effects of the A. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> LOL!!! I debate to pick up the phone....the caller has hidden their ID. I let the WS know his phone is buzzing....thinkig it was work. He tells me to take a message. But a weird feeling came over me..... WS said to answer the phone. By this time, the phone had been ringing and the caller hung up and called back..... this made me think it was the OW since no one had faster redial capabilities than that critter. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Speed dialing was her speciality. I have proof. LOL!!!! But that's another story. Reluncatantly, I pick up the phone. It went something like this (note: PBR = OW): Orchid: Hello. PBR: Why r u answering this phone? Orchid: Because it rang...who is this??!?!? (Of course by then I knew perfectly well who 'it' was). PBR: Where's WS? Orchid:.... in the shower. He has asked me to take a message PBR: NO he doesn't.....u r trying to prevent him from answering his phone, now where is he? Orchid: (at this point, I realize how much power I have with just one click....poof, she c/b disconnected)...... He is in the shower, now do you have a message or not? (I am fuming and realize plan B had better happen soon, but I remain calm.....it's reverse babble time. At this point, I take the phone....walk into the bathroom and tell the WS, there's a crazy lady on the phone....he immediately knows who it is and yells....hang up. Of course, I don't). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> PBR: I need to speak to WS. Orchid: Well he has asked me to take a message. PBR: Well, you aren't his W, I am. Orchid: Excuse me? PBR: You heard me. Orchid: I sure did... now I have a marriage license....where's yours? (at this moment, I let out a sharp burst of laughter.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ) PBR: (OW gets angry and hangs up). WS: What did she want? Orchid: Hm..... you got some explaining t/d 1st but you will have to wait until I stop laughing. WS: She said what? Orchid: PBR said I wasn't married to that she was. WS: That's stupid. Orchid: That's your friend....now let's talk about why that call even came through. (plan B gets whipped out). One evening a few days later I listened to one of the voicemails the OW left the WS on a supposed 'secret answering service' that I had the password to. LOL!!! PBR: Ws, I am going to get an emotional divorce from you. There was a bit more blabbering but that was the gist of it. So since she couldn't produce the 'marriage license', she was going to give him an emotional divorce. LOL!! Well the WS knew I had access to that answering service. He knew I would eventually hear that message. When I told him, he laughed since he had not heard it yet. He was again attempting to come home and he choose NOT to listen to those message....but I did. YUCK!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I asked the WS if he got the D paperwork? He looked shocked..... and said no. I said, the OW didn't have you served? He said for what? I said for the 'emotional divorce'. He said WHAT!??!?! I replied....Btw, maybe I should just go ahead and serve you with my paperwork also. Afer all, I want more than just an 'emotional D', I want a complete D. He wsa stunned. LOL!!! I didn't have the paperwork drawn up yet....but to see his face at that moment was 'priceless'. So these OPs can not only think they are married to the WS but also threaten an 'emotional divorce'. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
Last edited by Orchid; 03/04/06 02:34 AM.
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Orchid-
LOL Girl!!! You fracture me!! I thought I loved reverse babble to the WS....but I find your reverse babble to the OW even funnier!!!
I can't believe you could be so calm and collected when you talked to her.
LMAO I can't believe she said she was going to get an emotional divorce from him.
More....I want More!!! LOL
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Caren, That calm part took time. After a while it got easier and down right funny. Strange how it went from intense pain to hilarious. What you doing up sooo late?!?!?? I will think of what the next 'real' story s/b. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Listen, maybe others can contribute their just as hilarious stories..... it is a learning tool, crazy one though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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Orchid- The kids aren't here....and I actually get to use my computer...LOL, so I thought I'd take advantage of it. I'm fading fast though <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> God Bless, -Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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Orchid, Because she was the "emotional" wife, and you are the "legal" wife, and she now wants an emotional divorce, I'm just curious, do they now have to go to "emotional" court? And does your H have to pay any kind of emotional support? Like emotional alimony, emotional fees, the part of her house that was the most emotional? And how did this emotional cerimony take place, in front of an emotional judge, or an emotional priest? Inquiring minds want to know!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I may just be interested in this, should I ever get married again! It might be "emotionally" cheaper! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Wow, I think this is giving me "emotional" GAS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
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Orchid, Because she was the "emotional" wife, and you are the "legal" wife, and she now wants an emotional divorce, I'm just curious, do they now have to go to "emotional" court? And does your H have to pay any kind of emotional support? Like emotional alimony, emotional fees, the part of her house that was the most emotional? And how did this emotional cerimony take place, in front of an emotional judge, or an emotional priest? Inquiring minds want to know!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I may just be interested in this, should I ever get married again! It might be "emotionally" cheaper! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Wow, I think this is giving me "emotional" GAS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Oh yea.... I asked about where the emotional courthouse was located and if they needed an emotional lawyer. LOL!!! 2 funny!!! See how easy it is to babble?!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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ROFLMAO.....STOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! I cant't take any more! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
C-
BS-me (40)
WW (39)
DS11 - The true light of my life!
EA (to become a PA on June 9th)
DDay Feb 5, 2006 ("I do not love you")
Real DD March 22, 2006 ("I think I am a lesbian")
Divorce Pending
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Got2-
Don't tell her to stop these stories are great!!! LOL
God Bless,
-Caren
Always Look For Grace Given, Even in the midst of Grace Denied.
BS-Me 39
WH-37
Together 15 years
Married 12 years
7 kids total, His: SD20, SS18, Twin SS's 16.
Mine: DD22, DD15
Ours: DD12
Affair began Fall 04, Separated Fall 04,2 Failed Plan B attempts, False recovery of sorts Spring 05.......Still pluggin' away.
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I forgot about an emotional lawyer! How about his emotional inlaws? Did they treat him like a good, emotional son-in-law? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> Oh, and don't you have a say in this emotional D, since you and her are "Sister Wives"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by Jennifer68; 03/04/06 01:14 PM.
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