Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
K
Junior Member
Junior Member
K Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
How do you deal with the fact that the affair is continuing?
Being still married and seperated, at times I feel it's more difficult to deal with than when we were under the same roof. Always wondering where he is and if he's with the OW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Is there a remedy for the pain and deception that I'm feeling, or will time heal?

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 68
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 68
I'm sure it is more difficult to deal with. Is there any way that you can get back under the same roof?

Have you read the "How to Survive Infidelity" section of this site?


Me = BH,32 She = FWW, 32 7 year old child M = 11 years A = Aug '05 - Feb 3 '06 (NC)
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
K
Junior Member
Junior Member
K Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
I tried to stay under the same roof, but his comings and goings made it more difficult for me to cope---and not to mention everything he told me was a lie. I had caught him in so many lies when we were together that I began to have anxiety attacks, it just wasn't healthy for me.
I am trying to use the time to re <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />gain my strength again, but it's the emotional void that I'm feeling and the lonliness that is difficult to cope with.
thanks for your advise, and I will read the suggested. I have been reading any information I can get my hands on.
thank you again

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,975
Kim,

Sorry you are having to experience this. We BS and FBS here really understand what you are going thru and this is a good place for you to come for support and advice.

Yes, do read the free material on the MB site and I also suggest you order the Surviving an Affair book. It will help you better understand some of the things that are common to affairs and it will also help you develop your plan to end the affair and save your marriage.

It is important to remember that all marriages can not be saved and some of them probably shouldn't be. Either way, this site and the book will help you to get thru this.

You may want to post some more information about your situation here such as how long you have been married, how long the affair has been going on, when you discovered it, if you have any children, is OW married, and if so have you exposed the affair to her husband.

Good luck to you, remember you are not alone.

Who


I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03

Recovered
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
K
Junior Member
Junior Member
K Offline
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 14
Some more information on my situation:
I found out abou the affair 02/01/06, while paying the cell phone bill. He claims the affair has been going on about 2 months??? We have been married 9 years, but together for 15. H has 2 children from his previous marriage whom are grown and do not live in the area.
The OW, who is 22 years his junior had been with the father of her 4yo, but has now moved into an apartment, which is where I caught him last week.
H claims he does not spend that much time with the OW, but from what I've read, and emotional affair is just as damaging as an actual sexual affair.
He is still my husband, but I feel helpless being away from him. I feel like it's "out of sight, out of mind".
He has been going to Counseling, I guess that's a +. It's the fear of the unknown when you thought your future was already predesigned.
I appreciate the support and suggestions.

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 215
H
Member
Member
H Offline
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 215
Hi Kim,

Post your questions under General Questions II there are a lot of people out there that may help you, who are in or have been in similar situations.

Regards
Chris


Together 10 Years
Married 14 Febuary 04
DD 6 March 2007
DS8 & DS9
BS 38(me)
WS 39
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6
O
Junior Member
Junior Member
O Offline
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6
I'm in the same boat. I'm sorry and I feel your pain.
It's driving me nuts!


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 706 guests, and 73 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0