Dazed,

Here is your response...

"Honey, I dont believe any of that about you. None of that is true. I wont tell you what to do, as I believe you do know what is right and what you should do. I am here for you, should you want to talk."

Dont get in the middle of that, Dazed. Dazed...this is where the order would have come in handy!!!! She could be ducking for cover behind it. Instead, she is open to this attack by the OM and she feels helpless.

I am imploring you to protect this woman! Get the order today! Get the order saying the OM is not allowed to come near your house, or DD or yourself.

Then, just send a response like I just wrote...and then just listen to her. No trying to educate. That is what he is trying to do!! No manipulation...that is what he is doing. No threats...that is what he is doing!!

You see, even if she doesnt do what he says this weekend, he will be back next week making more threats and telling her to be out by next weekend. He isnt going to stop until your wife stops it. And she cant. You have to give her a foxhole to jump into to protect her from him.

Get the order, Dazed! And be your wife's bestfriend right now!!

In His arms.

Dazed:

I am so entirely thrilled for you and your wifes recovery. this prcoess is soooo hard and people like mortarman who has recovered a beautiful marriage will help you back to this. please listen to him and stop letting the om ruin your lifes. your wife is calling out for you to lead the family and her away from this evil. why have you not had the om arrested or a warrant placed or restrictive order done on him. your wife needs this. your marriage and eforts are an inspiration to everyone here. you and your wifes struggles and successes in recovery are what all of us are hoping to get. mm knows of what he speaks.please listen to him and only others who have recovered. you need to listen to them now and strike this evil man from your lives. the om has corrupted your wifes soul and she is asking you to help her from this pain. please do this now.

bless and love

Dazed,

SITREP!

In His arms.

Friday went well from my last update.
She asked me to come see her at her work for lunch. I took lunch over there, "her favorite" and we ate lunch together.
When i got in the door at her work, she was on the phone with OM and he was yelling at her. She told him she needed to go now and to not call back then hung up. He called right back and she hung up. He called right back and by then WW's back up was there to answer the phone. When she answered, he hung up.

She said during lunch that he drove through the parking lot three times. Called demanding to know where her car was parked. He then told her that he had bought her a dog just like our family dog. He named it the dog the same name that my wife wanted to name our next dog after a friend of mines rock band. Long story where WE came of with the name. But MR.original OM names the dog he bought with the name me and WW had picked.
So then he tells her that if she does not come see him after work that he was going to kill the dog.
The dog he told her he bought because he was lonely now he tells her that he bought just for her but now it's as good as dead.
She said, he called her more horrible names and she got mad at him and kept asking him if that is all and he would say no and you are blah, blah....
She said she kept hanging up on him and he would call right back and say; "don't you _ucking hang up on me or I am coming over there".

This was the second day in a row that I met her at her work for lunch. She took me around the plant and had me meet some of her co-workers and to see her work place.
All of her co-workers that know anything about her situation all tell her to run that crazy stalker off and get your husband to kick his @ss.

There is one older man that works there that tells her that one day when he ask how she is doing she will say great. She ask when do you think that might be? He says when you pull our head out... lol

Daughter left town with her friend for the week end. Me and WW spent Friday evening together watching tv until around 8:30 when one of her lady friends from work called asking if WW would like to come spend some time with her and a couple other girls because one the girls mother had died. WW told me where she would be, promised to she would not have any contact with OM.
What could I do? Hold her captive like OM did? I told her to go be with the girls as long as she felt it was safe with OM out there. She was gone a couple hours and when she came home she gave me a full report. Said they spent most of the time talking about her and getting rid of OM.
She said her friends asked why he can't be normal and realize it's over and move on. She said, they told her that they understand that she was going threw a rough time in her marriage and made some mistakes by trusting in OM. Now that her marriage has a real chance of getting back on track OM needs to go away and she needs to stop letting him bother her.
I suggested we get an RO as soon as I can get a lawyer on it next week. She said she still feels bad because she is not so innocent of everything. She said she still feels so much guilt because he thought she was going to be with him and even though it was not all her plan she let him think it would happen.

I consoled her and let her know it's not all her fault and she is not all those bad things OM says.

Next morning we spent a couple hours talking in bed after waking up. Yes, she is sleeping in the same room with me now with out asking.
We talked about him and how bad he has become to her. I really worked hard to not educate but just listen and be understanding. I would ask an question or help her along with being able to talk about things that were bothering her. It was really nice that she has been leaning on me with her problems. Painful at times to hear about things that hurt but I keep saying to myself. Do i want her talking about this with OM? NO WAY...
She stopped confiding in me a long time ago. I guess we both kinda did and that is what let us drift. I realize it is so key that we be each others friends before much else can work and last.

Saturday after we got up I made her breakfast and we watched some home improvement programs and talked about selling our house. We talked for several hours about what kinda of house she think WE should buy next and what she would like to do with our home to get it ready to sell.
She not only has taken ownership back as the woman of the house but is now thinking of our future. I could not stop smiling thinking of how wonderful it was to hear her speak of our future and actually kick our plans and ideas.

There was still some thoughts of OM that came up when we got ready to leave. She asked if she could drive the new car. She almost started crying and told me that OM told her that she could not drive that new car or she would be nothing more than materistic and should feel like her husband had to buy her back. She said that he really was pissed off when he seen our new car and really made her feel bad about it.
She said she had been wanting to drive it so badly but just felt so bad after OM telling her that crap.
So, of course I let her drive and we went 1-1/2 to a large city to go shopping.
We went to the mall and picked out each some clothes and looked around and just shopped around all day. Then we went to Lowes and bought supplies to redue our bath room. Together we picked everything out. We had dinner together and a shared some laughs and overall had a good time. However, OM was not out of her thoughts. She said several times that he would be so mad right now if he new what we were doing. She asked if it is wrong to think about stuff like that. She said she still feels like a bad person. There was not much of this but when she would get a trigger should would tell me about it and we would find a way to play it off to make her feel better.

Sunday started off much like Saturday morning. More talk about us and what we were going to do with the house. Then she started talking about OM again. Her feeling bad and guilty. Like before we were talking about with out any stress or anger. I was taking the no education role and just helping her getting it right in head so she was not so easily accepting the he is the victim here and she is horrible.
Things went well until she started talking about sex. She came right out and said that OM told her that he would never forgive her for sleeping with me and for sure if she had sex with me.
I did not say much to that. Just tried to focus on us and how she is important to us. With out education and being blunt, I directed that towards why contant is so bad for us. He is damaging our future now.

Agains she said for her that sex is a major issue and she asked again what MB has done for me with sex. Said again she tried to talk about with both Steve and Jennifer and they played it off. She asked why they do that. That made her mad. I explained the idea of a step by step process where several steps need taken before we can figure out sexual issues.
She asked what I had learned from counsel about our sex life. I did not want only want to become educational but felt like we were ready for a long talk about our sexual problems. She quickly sensed that I was trying to move around the issue and she got angry with me.
Once she got angry she became pretty fogged over. Started questioning if we could really make it work. Started her walk down memory lane citing where I did things that hurt her in the past and how she see's me being so good now but still wonders how long it would last.
She then said I just can't have sex with you. It makes me feel dirty just thinking of tring it with you. I don't know why but it just seems wrong with you.
You probably don't want to hear this but I never felt dirty with him.
Then she said I wonder if you can have a perfect relationship other than sex. You are perfect right now. So caring and loving and nice and friendly to me. I feel like I can talk to you about stuff now that I could not for a long time. It's just don't love you like I want to spend the week end in hotel room with you. Please don't take this wrong, I am just being honest. What do we do about that feeling I have. I don't want to feel sick about sex.
She then says, well I guess it's either a sex based relationship or one of substance. Maybe I can't have both.

I had heard about all I could take and had to get up. From the rest of the conversation around the parts I gave you, it was easily understood that her relationship with OM has been highly sexual.

In the past some of these talks that ended up emotional was not so good for either of us. So, I realized that i needed to end this before it got worse.

To my surprise she was not angry with me at the end of the talk. She went down stairs and fixed me breakfast and we ate together and planned our attack on the bathroom.

We together worked all day and until mid-night on our bath room. It was amazing. She was in good mood all day and night. She jumped right into working on the room. She volunteered to clean and paint while I stripped off wall papper and put up new paper. We built a new shelf together, she wanted to be with me the entire time. She even went with me as I spray painted a couple things.

What started off a little rough turned into a good day. We are really starting to be open with each other.
I realize there are going to be some painful issues to be resolved before we can function as husband and wife yet.

As of today. She drove the new car to work. She has told me several times that OM has not contacted her. She aske me if feeling with drawl or missing him was bad of her. I told her she is not bad. The experts said this would happen and is normal. Again I acknowledged her, listened to her, and shared how I feel. No education.

Still getting the RO drawn up so it ready to go.

No advice, I just wanted you to know that my hat is off to you. I do hope that you will be one of the old timers here one day guiding people through this terrible ordeal. You are an inspiration to me.

Hi Dazed,

I'm a FWW and I've been following your story... to echo Jean, you are an inspiration!

D-day for me was 9/13/05... I confessed. My OM was also unstable like your W's OM. Before D-day (and a month or so after) I flip-flopped back and forth between OM and my H. I felt guilty for hurting OM and I wanted to console and "take care" of him. I stayed with H because he made me feel safe and loved. OM was "crazy" without me... he "needed" me. H was a stable, very sane rock (this makes me sick just thinking about it now.)

Like you and your W, H and I also had sexual problems leading up to the A (it's one of my EN.) After my A, I NEVER thought I would want to have SF with my H again. It seemed "disgusting" to me (like your foggy W said.) I enjoyed SF with OM (just typing this makes me want to crawl under the table and die.) I thought I would never have good SF again, so that's another reason why I flip-flopped for a while (puke.)

Fast forward to today... I LOVE SF with my H! Things between us are going so well... we were actually just dismissed from MC a couple of weeks ago. My advice to you is this:

The number one issue above all else is NC with OM. Once your W is away from OM for a while, she will become stronger and more sane. OM's obessive "I can't live without you" love will appear less and less romantic and more and more like what it is... complete selfish nuttiness.

Your wife will want to maintain NC the safer and saner you are. Doing the house stuff is great... let her go crazy in that department! I did the same thing... it was one of the first steps I took in coming home. Keep listening, not judging and not educating like the good folks say here. Take care of your DD, go to work, be stable and normal and good. OM will keep lying, manipulating and acting like a lunatic and she will eventually find strength. The RO is a great idea... I'm glad that's finally happening.

As far as SF goes, this is what my H did that helped me. He completely dropped it. He said, "don't even think or worry about it for now...it's the least of our worries. We have to deal with this other stuff first." He said if I wanted SF, I would have to initiate. He NEVER tried ANYTHING. I don't know how he did it! He is a saint and a Godsend. The first few times we had SF it was hard and I was still a bit foggy and confused. He respected that and listened (again... a Godsend.) Now... after many months of NC with my looney OM, things between H and I are better than I could have imagined. I thank God everyday for my H and for this website.

Many blessings to you, your W and DD!

Dazed,

I am so happy for you. I wish my WH would come around like your wife is doing. God bless you both and your daughter.

Loni

Dazed,

You, sir, WILL succeed!! Your ACTIONS dictate that! And those on this board can learn from you. I know I can, as my WW is inching closer....and you've taught me a thing or two about "getting it".

May God continue to bless you, your DD and your W.
MWIL

My man...you continue to amaze us all. Your Plan A has been nearly perfect. I am recommending to the Harley's that they use you and your wife in the next book as the example of how this is done.

So, nothing more I can say to you on Plan A. You are now an expert, grasshopper. The way you handled your wife was perfect. No educating. You saw the traps being laid that would have taken you into an argument (I fell for those traps too many times!!). Masterful!!

I second wha tthe previous poster said about SF. As she said as a FWW, it just took time. And it took a very patient husband! So, dont you worry about the SF. When this is all said and done, the SF between the two of you will be better than anything the OM brought to the table...and better than anything the old Dazed had with her. For now, just stay on mission!

I am still VERY concerned with the mental and emotional imbalance of the OM. He is dangerous! He may not lash out at your wife, he may go for you...or your daughter...in order to hurt her. You need to protect all three of you, Dazed. I dont want to be on here and wonder what happened to Dazed because he doesnt post anymore...and then see on FOX News that there was a husband, wife and daughter murdered today. You need to prepare for the worst. I would have some sort of home protection (firearm). I would ensure all windows and doors are locked. I would be constantly vigilant of knowing my surroundings. Never letting anyone sneak up on me. Your daughter should NOT go anywhere without an adult for a little while. And...I will say it again...you need to get that protective order for at least you, your daughter, and that house. Any guy as unstable as he is will make a mistake before doing somethign serious. He will drive by, or call, or something. And when he does, he can get arrested before he has a chance to do any real harm.

On protecting your wife...if you would get that order, then I believe she would go along after with amending it to add her on it. She now sees fully how deranged this guy is. But she is still incapable of making a move on her own.

Lead, my man. Lead!!!

In His arms.

Katie~Loni~MWIL~MM
Thank you for your very insperational words.

Katie Mae~ Let me first say congratulations for getting your life and marriage back on track.
I feel in many ways it is much harder to be a WW than even a BS. I know many reading that will freak out.
I see what pain my WW has gone threw and see how much of her life has been taken and turned upside down and inside out by her affair. For months my WW looked like a zombie or that dear in the head lights look. What i told my WW was it looked like a strong wind would knock her over she was so mentally spent.

Flip-Flopping between an OM and H and family must really pull a WW mentally in two pieces. Especially when the OM is a complete nut job control freak sicko basturd.

It sounds like you are a very strong and smart woman that can help many of us working to get our lives back on the right track.

Also, It sounds like your OM and my wifes OM have a lot in common.
Yes, she does think she needs to some how help him and take care of him. She has said to me that he seems so week and can't live with out me, yet you are strong and not week like him.
For her being in fog, she actually kinda holds that against me. Of course he tells her that shows he loves her more and I could just find another woman. That just conflicts her because she told me that she does think I could move on but she can't bare to think of me with another woman.
It's kind of like she would give up her marriage just to take care of this idiot because he requires so much attention. However, she says I don't want to settle for that and miss out on what we could have. Then she also says that she thinks she would be jealous seeing him with another girl. "The conflict and confusion of fog"

You are so right about her turning to me for safety and security. She has flip-flopped so many times with that in mind. She goes with him and he does something that scares her so she comes home. Then the addiction and constant pressure of OM pulls her back. She gets scared and runs home.
She said she tells him all the time that she is comfortable in her home with her family and not with him in is place and for dam sure not the apartment she had for three weeks.
She tells me that was the worst three weeks of her life.

I totally agree with you Katie about NC...
My WW is just not ready to make that stick yet. I hope you are right and she can gain the strength it takes to let me help her make it work.

I am struggling with how to help with no contact and with drawl. My instinct says to keep asking her for no contact but, my thoughts say she already knows what she needs to do. She just can't do it yet. If I push it may damage our open communication that we have been improving with.

She told me yesterday that she was feeling with drawl. I am trying to help with that but not really sure what is the best way to approach it.
I want to give her some information from MB and books to show her that it is real and there are methods to help her.
Then on the other hand it is education coming from me.

It is obvious that OM is hurting her chance to heal and get threw with drawls. Also we can not begin repairing our marriage.

About the SF.
I still feel like we have to get no contact and threw withdrawls.
I like to show affection by holding hands, hugs, kisses, rubbing her hair and neck.. That sort of thing. My WW has always loved that about me. Has said OM has no idea how to be nice and caring like that. He don't do none of that stuff. She told me that is one thing she loves.

It is kind of difficult for her at times because obviously these displays of affection use to often lead to SF for us.

I have told her that for me SF is not my concern and working on us in that area should be not worried about. I don't want to pressure her or make her do anything that she does not want to do. Her feelings are what I care about. that has helped with sleeping together. She also likes to be held at night. At first that bothered her because she was worried about sex.
Of course I consider myself like most men, that enjoy SF. It is not my No.1 need, but for me it fills the need of affection and i would say is important to have with my wife.

We used to have a very active sex life. She always said it was not important to her, but I disagree. I feel like it fills emotional needs for her as well. Remember my WW is insecure about her self and needs attention.

Yes, I understand SF will take time after some other steps are taken. NO CONTACT, WITH DRAWLS, Self healing, then into recovery.

The crazy thing is how faithful WW has been to OM. I see this as a quality in her rather than a fault. She wants to be faithful, it's just how she became faithful to OM while married...

I feel that OM really plays that card on her big time. Guilt and shame is what he projects onto her for being with me in any manor.

There was more contact yesterday afternoon.
He called her and told her that he explained to his family that she was not using him and she was just confused. She will do the right thing and be with me when she is ready. She said his family bashed him for the dismissal coming out in the paper last week. He presented this to WW as if he smoothed it over with his family and she would not make a liar out of him to his family or look a fool.

I said, Well WW. are you feeling more pressure from that? She said, I feel bad and sad again.
I said; It's sad. He just keeps finding angles to make you feel confused. I feel so bad for you dealing with that everyday at work.

She then said jokingly that he says now that your husband is home all the time and doing everything you want that he will probably remodel your house to go with that new car. She said I guess he is going to $hit when he sees the for sale sign in the front yard then huh...

Here is the latest. My daughter called and wants me to come get her from her friends house 1 hour drive away.
I presented a plan for me and WW to go and get daughter and have dinner together and go by the store on the way back.

WW does not want to go. She came by my work and traded me cars so I have the new car to go get daughter.

I am very against leaving her in town alone for 2-1/2 hours.
Do i tell her my concerns about OM and contact?

When are you leaving? I ain't got nothing planned for tonight if you need some eyes.....

Bill~
Not a bad idea my friend.
I will send you and email in a few.

Hi Dazed,

Geez... she didn't want to go, huh? Yikes. I wish she wouldn't answer the phone at work... this is why she wouldn't go with you, because she talked to him and it's messed her up again... this is so awful, I know exactly how she feels. If she does talk to him when you're gone she's going to hate herself afterwards, big time. Would she consider going on ADs? That's one thing that helped me maintain NC with OM... I went on AD's which stabalized my mood, helped me sleep and think more clearly... I don't know how you'd approach it though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Are you leaving MB stuff around the house for her to "pick up" if she wanted to? I agree with not educating her, but if she sees it around maybe she would eventually open up to the idea on her own. What helped me the most was understanding that an affair is an addiction... I had previously been a heavy smoker and a lot of the same feelings I had withdrawing from cigarettes were the same as from OM... I actually used some of the same quitting techniques to help me during OM withdrawl. Has she ever been addicted to anything besides OM? Anyone in either of your families addicted?

I also understand your W's faithfulness to OM. While I didn't feel the same way during my A, OM did. He stopped having SF with his W completely because he felt he was cheating on me (!!!) The A world is TOTALLY INSANE.

Anyway, I hope things went okay with picking up your DD... let us know what happened and how you are doing.

God Bless...

SITREP, Dazed.

In His arms.

It's been a week since my last post.

Last Tuesday I was not comfortable leaving her in town alone for a couple of hours. I made the trip to retrieve daughter and WW went shopping at the mall. She called me from a pay phone at the mall once to let me know things were going ok and no sign of OM.

When we got home she was in good spirits and not any fog that I could tell.

Last week was pretty much uneventful. OM kept calling her and bothering her. He told her he was going to damage our new car if he seen her driving it. This really upset WW. I suggested telling the police but she did not want to. Thursday morning she was nearly in tears when she told me about him trying to tell her how bad she is and how he made her feel so bad for driving our new car. She said she really wants to drive it and he just tries to ruin everything good.
She said that she would be ready to drive it starting Saturday and to work on Monday.

There was not really any fog moments over the rest of the week. Things went well.

Saturday morning she went shopping around town with her new girl friend from work that I have met and approve of. WW tells me that the friend also likes me and is supportive of WW working on our marriage and running off OM. So I do like this friend.
The wife was happy that I worked on the house Saturday and spent the day with daughter and her cousins.

When she got home she told me about her day and conversation with her friend and how WW feels bad that we have not done anything together yet except for the one trip out of town last Saturday to go shopping.

Sunday morning we talked a little about no contact and she said she set her email up to block his address. She did say that he was still calling but not as much and she was being mean to him and hanging up.
She thanked me for being so nice and taking so good care of her threw all of this. She said she really appreciates everything and with me my gifts are just gifts. They are not taken back or come with strings like OM's.

We also talked about SF a little and I made it known that she was going to have to make the first move that way I knew when she was ready. She was very impressed that I told her that it was up to her. She said she could hardly believe that coming from me. I told her I understand that but that is how I feel. I want to be patient with things and make sure she if comfortable and not pressured. So this way by her inciating SF I will know when she is ready.
That went very well.
Thank you Katie for helping me with that!

Yesterday was ok. Not much email or talking.
I was a bit surprised when she told me she had a check up with her OBGYN over the noon hour. She said she did not have a check up last year and wanted to get that done. I did not ask any stupid questions. Just supportive and concerned for her well being.
I thought the timing seemed a bit of coincidence though.
She was very quiet the rest of the afternoon. When i called she sounded like there was something bothering her but was reluctant to talk.
I think it is withdraws not so much anything to do with the check up.

She invited me to go to dinner with her at her mothers house for the evening. All three of us went to her MIL's for the evening. The 40 minute drive there and back was very quiet. WW pretty much just set there along for the ride. I had a feeling there was something on her mind but she was not speaking. Last night she slept on the couch.
This morning I asked her about contact and if he was still bothering her and she got upset and asked why I wait to start a conversation when she is rushing around for work.

I sent her a message this morning asking how she is doing. Letting her know that she can talk to me if she is struggling with anything.
Her reply was to complain about my poor spelling when emailing.

I am not sure what is bothering her right now. Apparantly she is not ready to talk about it.

She asked me Sunday to find a local MC that we could apply our insurance on. I said, I will start looking this week for someone that would help us with the MB tools. She said she still is unsure about MB but she wants to go to an MC to make sure we don't get off track again.

She asked me what she needed to do to make sure that I did not become the old guy again. My response; Having a great marriage. Where we learn how to communicate to make each other happy.
That seemed to be the right answer for her.

Today I am not sure what is going on with her. I guess I will just maintain a comfortable distance for her.

For me. Is it wrong to want her to prove there is no contact going on?
I am not sure what has changed but, her level of communicating her thoughts and feelings about him have decreased.
Could it be she don't want to tell me about it, or is she confiding this stuff with her new girl friend?
Should I worry about that?

Dazed,

It seems unusual that her silence and withdrawl began again after the OBGYN appt. Did she tell you what tests had been done there? The usual Pap..or...STD tests???

Lady

Dazed,

Her withdrawal the last few days is normal. Let me let you in on a secret about recovery and going into recovery. You already know this, but I want you to be aware.

You have learned so much during all of this. You are now an expert on affairs, the fog, etc. So, here's what I want to remind you of. Everytime your wife has contact, does she act differently? Do you recognize her changes?

Now, what does that mean? When you see the changes, what do you know?

You see, you dont really need to know if there is contact...you already know well before she would ever tell you. You know when she has had a fix or when he has called and upset her.

So, what you have to do now is to lay off of that some. Just sit back and watch. she will show you when she has had contact. You dont need to ask. So you should feel comfortable with knowing that you will know when she has been in contact with him. You dont need her to really tell you or any proof.

Your wife is making great strides right now. She is beginning to take an active role in the marriage. She is beginning to homestead, and beginning to plan events with you. She now WANTS to go to MC. These are all strides that tell me that you will soon enter recovery.

Meanwhile, the OM has turned himself into a stalker in your wife's eyes. He is destroying every last positive sentiment that your wife may have for him. He is helping you Dazed!!! In the military, we had a saying that goes something like "if the enemy is destroying himself, dont help him!" This is what you need to do. Stay out of that now. Your wife is actually trying to do NC in her own way. She supposedly has blocked her email. She has hung up on the OM several times. She has a good friend now at work that is now helping her move forward and will help her be accountable.

That friend is HUGE because your wife will not feel like she is doing this alone! She doesnt quite trust the new Dazed yet (which is why she asked the question about what needed to be done to keep the old Dazed away). So, having someone in her corner that is supportive of your marriage is a very big asset. Added to the fact that the OM truly is self-destructing.

I still worry for you and your family's safety. This guy is making threats. He will either stop and go away...or he will act on them. Do you trust this guy enough with your family's safety that he will choose to just go away? Are you sure? You had better be, because if you are wrong...

Dazed, your marriage now has a chance to move forward. This is actually the HARD part! All of the things that were problems before must now be dealt with or laid to rest. Broken bonds must be re-attached and healed. This takes time AND effort. You thought the affair was tough...you aint seen nothing yet.

When I say that, I dont mean it will be you against her again. But it will be hard for awhile. She will wonder if she made the right decision for quite awhile. SO WILL YOU!!

But as my pastor said last Sunday, love is not a feeling! Not the kind that is needed here. This kind of love is a commitment. It says that "I choose to love you no matter what." You have shown that, Dazed. It is why your wife is there now.

Stick with that. Dont lose sight of that. Each day, this all will go further back in your rear view mirror until eventually it will be out of sight. Take baby steps and keep moving forward.

Your wife is now following.

In His arms.

How about going to the next MB weekend seminar April 28 and 29th? It is rather expensive but it might help you both really get into working on your marriage together.

The weather should be really nice and there's lots to do in Orlando if you can stay and extra day or two. It could be a good time to get away together and combine it with possible productive work on your marriage....going in the direction of healing.

Daze, you don't think she could be pregnant, do you?

***Daze, you don't think she could be pregnant, do you?***

The same thing occurred to me.

OB/GYN appointments do not normally make one withdrawn and quiet - unless there is either an unwanted pregnancy or an STD. Or both.

Please be prepared. Don't just blow this off and ignore it. Whatever happened at the doctor's office, even if it's all good, you need to know about it. You're her husband and you are still ready and willing to sleep with her. You need to know.
Mulan