For anyone with teenagers, do you ever have the urge to just step in and take over your teenager's "romance", after everything you have learned and seen in life??

I have three teenage daughters, (18yr. old twins & a 17yr.old), and you can just imagine the drama in my house!!

Last night, my youngest and her BF brokeup on the phone. She was hysterical, and I just wanted to rip the phone from her, and LET HIM HAVE IT!! And I also wanted to tie into her, for allowing this crap to happen and begging him to "understand" her! (YUCK!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />) At 12:30am, my house was STILL up and very much in motion over this crap! When it finally calmed down, I was relieved it was finally over. My D came into the room and said, "He'll be by in the morning to pick up his stuff." I'm thinking to myself, "Why not just leave it up at the curb?" But...I kept my mouth shut, just being satisfied that this nightmare was about over.

Well...This morning, I wake up, and HERE HE IS, in my house! The two of them as happy as ever, like nothing ever happened! She's even fixing him something to eat!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

And I forgot to mention, while this was going on last night, I was still waiting for my other two to get home, so I could go to bed. But THAT didn't happen, because when they arrived, they overheard what was going on and HAD to get involved! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Is adoption still an option? Or am I too late! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Just kidding, I love them all DEARLY, but sometimes, I feel like I'm going to go crazy!!

PS...I was good and managed to keep my FAT mouth shut thru all of this, but it was NOT easy!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> I feel like they need to live and learn, just as I did! (My poor parents!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />)

I am not a mother of any teenager....yet. But I did have the displeasure of having H's 2 younger sisters in my home. One of them lived w/us for 18 months. She was 18 at the time.

I can tell you that I sat them down and gave them that I love you but don't stress me out lecture several times. Now because they weren't mine, they loved it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Me on the other hand could have done w/o that type of experience before my own came about. LOL!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I think they ought to go over the chaos and learn that when these things happen, each can react differently. The scary piece is the pattern your D and BF are creating.

It is ok to fight it out, stress everyone out and then pretend nothing ever happened? Hm..... what does that sound like?

Unlike you I'd be screaming for a family meeting with this BF included. I'd share some of my stress as much as I could and still be considered a parent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Hope you get better responses......my mommy blood is beginning to boil..... my poor kid, he's only 11. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanx, Orchid.

We've had family meetings up the Wazoo! And definately, YES, I'm afraid of my D's pattern, as this was how it was with the last BF. And I wonder if this is a co-dependent thing, beings I was co-dependent. I've been divorced for 11 years, and have tried to talk to all the girls about co-dendency, and the effects of it. I even used myself and my former marriage as an example to them. I'm not sure if it all sunk in, or not. I can only hope and pray! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Funny, though, of the three girls, this one is the one I would have least expected this type of pattern to develop! Other than her "love life", she is actually a pretty tough little thing, and VERY intelligent (and opinionated!) She's the first one to notice a problem going on with anyone else!

I keep thinking, I just have to let this play itself out, and eventually, she'll have enough, and end it herself, like she did before. This has also been part of her pattern! I'm not sure what to think of that!

I'm hoping they will learn their lessons while they're young, and not after they are married with 10 kids!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Well, he is suppose to be leaving for Job Corps. soon, (fingers crossed <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />), so we'll see.

Teenagers......my boys have gone through a few nasty relationships. As fate would have it, at almost the same time both had the girlfriends from h#ll. Both were so burned that it took them 3 years to really start dating again. (That made high school a little easier for me.)

These days, I don't want any gory details. I do tell them to be honest with their girlfriends. I've told them that if they ever cheat on their wives, I will cut their privates off. They definitely know where their mother stands on fidelity. I see many heartaches in their future. That's great, they will learn a lot from them.

A hint. Most of the time I listen with a sympathic ear. Occasionally, I will say "I'm sorry but I don't have the emotionally resources to help you deal with your problems right now. Try later." That really helps me.

Thankyou, GG.

I have to say, it takes ALL I've got, not to add my 2 cents. And sometimes I do, before thinking about it. But I'm learning now, too, from the OTHER side.

I had to learn the hard way, and I keep thinking I can help them to avoid the mistakes I made. But without my mistakes, I would have never learned. I guess the same thing goes for them! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Take Care...Jennifer

Jennifer, I've been through it once and now beginning it again YUCK. I found one trick that really works but it';s cruel, evil, mean lol. If the guy seems like trouble I tell my daughter that I just love him and then I smother him when he's here or calls on the phone. She doesns't want someone I like and he can't bear mama being with him so sonn they split. My oldest daughter's now fiancee, I LOVED but she said what do you think and I said well he's ok I guess. lol He's still here lol

Yup, the ol' reverse Physc. thing!! LOL! Already have done that a few times!

But now, we are at the phase, where they actually WANT me to like them. So, I have to "fake" it! And when one of their boyfriends do something stupid, I'll even sometimes throw in a "What are you making such a big deal about?"

I've learned, it's safer just to keep my mouth SHUT! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

J68,

My kids are out of the house but I do remember what you are talking about. Boy do I miss those days with the kids in the house. Enjoy your kids.

I agree. The twins are about to graduate in May, and my youngest will May of next year. So I need to enjoy this time, while it's here! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />