Last night while doing some recon while H was again out on a Saturday night. I came across a pic of him with this singer he likes from Europe. Daniel Powter. The OW had told him about him one day when he was having a bad day at work. His song is "Had a Bad Day" He downloaded it right away. Sent for the CD. Of course these are big triggers for me since she was the one that told him about him. Something else for them to discuss that I can not be a part of.

Well I guess he was in St. Louis last Fri. My H told me he was going to a friends house. Obviously a lie or he just stopped by for a sec. And went to this concert where he met 3 girls that were there for the same thing. Sat at their table with them took their cards and emailed them on Monday. One emailed back saying it was nice to meet someone with the same love for music and that she would send him a CD of her fav. artists soon.

So I find the pic of him and this singer and blow it up and notice he is not wearing his wedding ring. I don't know but this hurt soooo bad. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. An almost D-day all over again.

I proceeded to voice mail him and tell him I had found the pic and noticed that his ring had fallen off and that since I had seen him wearing it earlier in the day it must have been intentional. And that I guess that meant he wasn't married anymore.

When he came home I was of course sleeping but he got on the computer and checked my history.

He isn't up yet and I do not know what to say or do. I really just want to cry.

Why do I feel like this is the end? I can't get him to do anything with me so the chance for us to reconnect at this point is zero. Until he wakes up from this fog I am lost.

I would really like to go to Plan B. Just so he can see what life would be like without me or the kids for a while, but finacially I am screwed. I am a SAHM with no immediate means to make any money.

Help me, Please. I feel like I am losing my mind and my life.

He's a WS my dear.

clear signals.

he is not a repentant ws...not an xws either.

it is NOT APPROPRIATE FOR HIM TO BE DOING THIS.

install keylogging software...show him the proof.

do not be scared for doing exposure at all.

email these women and tell them he is A MARRIED MAN AND FATHER...

don't pretend. lies allowed to grow in the dark only GROW...

gently confront him. tell him what you know.

what is YOUR MB PLAN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HAS HE AGREED TO NC AND DONE ALL THAT'S RECOMMENDED HER THAT A WS DO TO HEAL A MARRIAGE?

what's your plan? where are ya at?

No He has done nothing. He hasn't admitted anything about the first OW. Said they were just friends. Feel that he is still in contact but can't be sure.

I do have spyware on all computers. I do like the idea of mailing these woman. Who knows what he has told them.

My plan was to just stay in Plan A. I have exposed, but that didn't seem to work.

He is so confused now he doesn't know what he wants. Deep into Mid Life Crisis. His fog glasses are firmly in place.

He just wants to be Happy. And I just want to kill him.LOL (as does my family and his)

if you're in plan A...you expose...and keylogger will expose.

you can do one of two things dear:
1)pull head out of sand...do plan A and not EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE...
2)keep head in sand..do plan A...and not rock the boat.

my favorite quote. it's by Einstein...

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the outcome to be different".

apply that to your WH/affair/MLC now. what does that tell you to do?

I have been trying to think of ways to change my behavior with him. Coming up rather empty.

I know it is time to start thinking about myself and what I need. And I know that I need more than what I am getting from him.

I am going to finish my paralegal classes on line. I must. I have to be able to take care of myself and my children.

I just wish it didn't hurt so much