I know I have not been an angel in my marriage myself. Years ago when my husband was terribly morbidly obeese, He was extremely depressed. He would not talk w/ us, go to work nearly on time, his hygeine was horrible, etc. I did not know he was depressed, I honestly didn't. I slept on the couch for 3 yrs. In the 3rd yr I had an affair. When my husband found out, he was devastated. First, I could not believe he loved me! I dropped the affair, went straight to counsling and learned so much about my husband, what he needed and what I needed. After that, What a marriage! We were a perfect family and I was so in love w/ him and my family. we put an addition on the house sent our oldest off to college, put in a pool. He ALWAYS held my hand. We were just enjoying a great family life. Then he had the surgery. He is so healthy now, and very handsome. I thought he was handsome when he was big too. I had a huge prob w/ the hygiene thing when he was depressed. When he started to include our daughter in his activities over the summer, it crushed me. I could not be there as I would not approve of this EA aka as just friends. One day I was picking our daughter up at the sitter's. The sitter told me to stop working so much as my daughter was now referring to the EA as "barn mom". Wow was that a wakeup call. I started fighting harder that ever w/ him to get rid of her. After 10 months of this, I ended everything w/ my husband and started to see someone else. I know it was wrong, my heart was so shattered and he gave me comfort. My husband decided he loved me so much, that he would give up EA and horses in a heartbeat. I never minded the horses, just her. Things are progressing fairly well, then I warn another mother, (I was not kind in the way I told the other mother) and he's gone. I found out when he was tellilng me how much he loved me and would give her up, he was still talking w/ her on the phone for over an hr everyday.
Julie
