Last week at the mediator my wife announced that she can't stand being with me despite all the Plan A stuff and the occasional lovebuster. <P>The next appointment was today. Because of last week's announcement and me feeling under the weather I cancelled. My wife decided to go to talk about the kids if it was OK with me, of course I said yes.<P>Well abou 1/2 hour ago I went to get a letter notarized and my wife's car pulled to the curb. Who gets out but the OM. The mediator session was supposed to go until 3 (it was 2-45). He walks toward me and nods.<P>Well I couldn't help myself I said" Why don't you get in the f'in gutter where you belong!" My wife wound the window down and I just said "Did you go together?" and went off. I couldn't sign the letter I was still shaking. <P>The last time we bumped into each other I just nodded back. The first day after discovery I had to slow down in the road because of the elephant crossing. You can imagine what my thoughts were then.<P>Well I'm sure I'll get flack when the wife and I speak next, but I don't care. She still doesn't understand why OM and I can't be friends since he's "such a wonderful person".<P>Note: thus only my side of things<P>------------------<BR>It's always darkest before the dawn

I could not be friends with anyone that has come between my W and I. Were it not criminal and the fact that I would burn in hell, I believe I would have killed the OM. I know, I know, trustntruth is going to smack me around for saying that but I couldn't help it.

Paul, I don't smack anyone around!!!! <P>I'd kill 'em too! Is that why God doesn't allow us to be tempted more than we can handle????? <P>awoken - you must be quite a person. When that elephant came that close to me, I think i would've charged.... <P>I guess we all have those moments. Better to act on our convictions vs. our emotions some times!!!!<P>TNT

Damn, Awoken! <P>I'm really sorry you had to go through that. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I never had to see the OM again after discovery.<P>Wish I had something that could make you feel better, but I'm at a loss. I understand the uncontrollable desire to say or do SOMETHING to the OM. Hopefully you and your W can both let it go and be mature about it.<P>I'll be rootin' for you.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

Why do I feel like such a wimp with this approach? Think back to what we know of earlier times, Wild West, Frontier Days, even up to the 50's, if you were caught cheating ostricized (sp) was the cheater and woe unto the OP. Pssible death and a certain beating sure to follow. But now we speak of maturity and forgiveness and doing the right thing. When did beating the crap out of the OP become the wrong thing? If this is wrong it sure makes it hard to be right. And I know it's not Christ like but is sure is human like!

Hi Awoken<P>Man sorry bro...<P>Tell your W that you will not tolerate any kind of friendly relationship with OM under any circumstances. Tell her to ensure that you two NEVER cross paths. It's bad enough being betrayed. When I confronted my W's OM (long story) it did not get physical because he appologized right away and I just told him to stay clear while W and I reconcile (man to man talk). I have not since seen OM although he does live in the neighborhood.<P>Stand Tall bro, have respect for yourself, you have endured alot of pain and 50% is W. Don't go out of your way to cross paths with OM and don't be rude, it's not worth your time.<P>I would love to tell ya to break his leg or smash his face in (that's what I would love to do) but really it does not solve anything and it takes two to tango.<P>Be cool, calm and collected and try not to feel like a loser (like I did). Take pride in your attemp to rebuild your marriage.<P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>"Better to die on your feet than live on your knees"