I have finally reached a place where I can see what I need. Since WH moved out I have tried to remain loving, supportive, friendly, etc., etc., And most importantly remain open to reconciliation. Until two weeks ago when the light finally dawned.

We had enjoyed about a week of nice phone conversation, I had invited him to dinner and while he didn't say no, he said he'd let me know. I also asked if we could get together to talk over the weekend and he said yes - that would be good. Saturday came and we were suppose to get together, but a phone conversation with him ended badly and he said NO - I do not wish to talk with you anymore this weekend. So no dinner with us, no talk, nothing. Turned his cell phone off - end of story. ON monday he suggested we get together and talk that night - sounded good. I asked him waht he wished to discuss and he said finances and such. I told him I had other things that I wished ot discuss and he said fine.

Long story - and it's long - short, I told him that night that I don't trust him, don't believe that I can ever trust him again. And that even though I loved him still - I was moving on. I agreed to file jointly for divorce. I just don't have it in me to fight for reconciliation anymore. I hurt too much, and every time I try to talk to him I get hurt again. The last three months have been horrible and the only way I can really do what's good for me is to move out of this relationship. I am still open to a miracle - but right now I just don't see how that would happen. My WH would have to work really hard to "win" me back, and he's sp glad to be moving away from me.

Since that night 2 weeks ago I ahve felt better that I thoguht imaginable. I have slept through the night, I ahve laughed with my kids, I have gotten my house organized again, and there are many more positive things that have happened. I feel GOOD - for the first time in about 6 months!

BUT - WH is still in a FOG. He met with his attorney today.
WH's already whining about finances. He states he doesn't have the money to spend on his attorney - so everything is on hold. should have thought about that before he blew 2000.00 on a trip to see OW before the holidays. He started on about the house and his shares in the business not being worth anything - really - he said. And that if I do manage to prove that I should have 50% of his shares in the business then I should have to pay to live in the house (as it's owned by the company). Then he said he should be entitled to 2 weeks of vacation with the kids ( my thought was - you only want two weeks?). I said that's fine - remeber that I already asked about taking the kids to seemy family this summer for 10 days and that I want to take them to DIsney in Feb. next year. And this is when MR. HEADINTHECLOUDS WH started to sound delusional. Where's the money going to come from to pay for that? WE (he said WE!) won't be able to afford that. NOW - I got mad. WHere does it say he gets to tell me how to spend my money. His respnse was - well he expected our divorce to be fair and equitable. FAIR? LIke anything he's done to me is FAIR? He said he will not allow this divorce to make him destitute. EXCUSE ME - He's going to have to pay for the privilege of walking out on his marriage - and it's going to be done nice like in the MA court system. I already know what he's going to pay for child support, there will be alimoney and he will be required to pay half of kids recreational, childcare and private school tuition. SO is there going to be a lot of his $100,000/a year salary left over for him to live the life style we have now? NO - should have thought about that before he left!!!

Am I angry - right now - yes!! ANd am I going to roll over to his pressure - NO. This divorce is gong to cos him thousands (hundred's of thousands actually) and I am gong to be sure that we are well taken care of.

OK - I have vented enough - I am calm, cool, and very collected. Feel's great!!!!

Post deleted by Cherished

Jan, "friendly" divorces must happen now and then. I mean, the concept is there…everyone’s heard the term, right? Someone, somewhere must have had one once upon a time. Personal experience tells me it's just a fable, though, a myth passed off as truth by soon to be ex-spouses who want to keep something more than their share of the family assets. Don’t fall for the fairytale, Jan.

You understand your husband is actually an alien, right? All it knows is fog-speak and you’re going to debate “fairness” with it? Nonsense. Hire yourself a mean, uncompromising, bulldog of a lawyer and turn him or her loose on your fog-bound WH. Put yourself in the attorney’s hands and you’ll come out with a deal that is fair for you and your children. Don’t worry about the alien. It will be all right in its little fantasy world.