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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Archived - Read Only Just Found Out... Counseling experiences

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Counseling experiences #1607179 03/07/06 05:52 AM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 14 K kimhurtinohio Junior Member
kimhurtinohio Junior Member K Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 14	I'm looking for some input on experiences that anyone has had with Counseling. I'm not certain what I should be expecting from my Counselor? He is attending his own seperate sessions with another Counselor. Should I be expecting advise, tools to use to deal with the hurt? I'm not feeling any of this---I leave my sessions feeling the same as I did when I went. I feel that I am getting more solid advise from this MB, friends, family and reading my material. Is it necessary to continue therapy when I'm not getting any solid advise or tools to use to get through this time? Any advise/experiences would be greatly appreciated.

Re: Counseling experiences kimhurtinohio #1607180 03/07/06 09:12 AM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 6 J Jeff311 Junior Member
Jeff311 Junior Member J Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 6	How many times have you gone to see your counselor? I've been a few times and I feel the same way but I know that your first few sessions will be for the counselor to get to know you and your personality before they can give really good advice. I have started feeling better just knowing that I am going and getting professional help. Keep it up and eventually there will be some good coming from it.

Re: Counseling experiences Jeff311 #1607181 03/07/06 10:30 AM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 14 K kimhurtinohio Junior Member
kimhurtinohio Junior Member K Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 14	I've gone 4 times. The last session, I had nothing to say after 30 minutes. I don't feel that I'm getting what I think I should be getting, although I'm not certain what that entails. I plan on going next week again, she said that I didn't need to come this week, and if I don't have any answers, I think I may have to change Counselors, which I hate to do because I'll have to unleash all the emotions with someone new again, or I may quit until I have something that changes with my H? thank you for responding.

Re: Counseling experiences kimhurtinohio #1607182 03/12/06 07:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970 L LovingAnyway Member
LovingAnyway Member L Joined: Nov 2004 Posts: 8,970	Hey, Kim... I think it is great that you are questioning whether you're being helped. Can you talk with her at next session about your expectations of counseling? Ask her for her plans and views...you have already established she's pro-marriage? Ask for what you want, tell what you expect and listen to see if you two mesh well. If you don't, please find another counselor. Do not give up on it...you'd be surprised to find out how much you learn about yourself when you unleash all over someone new, for the second time. Afterall, practice does make... well, ya know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LA

Re: Counseling experiences LovingAnyway #1607183 03/12/06 11:49 PM
Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 5 J jato9916 Junior Member
jato9916 Junior Member J Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 5	Hi Kim...from one newbie to another! i've gone to a few counselors...my last one helped me the most...the first two i went to, i came out the same way...feeling no progress. i kept searching until i found my last counselor. she believed in "short term resolution" meaning get to the root, and resolve it. she gave me some great excercises to do to work on myself and gave me some tools to deal with anger. i learned alot about myself from her...some good, some frightening. after her sessions, i would recap the session in my palm pilot. it's been about 6 months since i've seen her last, but i frequently go back to my sessions in my palm pilot for "refresher" courses. hope this helps you...

Re: Counseling experiences jato9916 #1607184 03/13/06 01:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 217 I intention Member
intention Member I Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 217	It will really depend on the counselor as to whether MC or IC is helpful. I think it also depends to a great extent on YOU and your spouse. If you are determined to make things work, there is a stronger likelihood of a positive outcome. If you go into MC with a lot of doubts as to its effectivenss, that might become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Personally, I have found MC to be very helpful. See this article for more info... How to choose a counselor BS 40 (me) FWW 39 D13, D10, S5 Married 12/95; PA ~3/96; EA ~1/10 D-day 2/16/06 (ten year secret) Current status: Newly discovered EA My story (part 1)

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