OC was born the end of January and OW/OC live across the country from us. We have visited twice, H seeing baby; OW couldn't stand the idea of me (BS) being around either her or baby, so H visited at the hospital and once at her home with her mother there.

We've had lots of discussions and are agreed that any future visits must include me. H has questions for other WS who have had children with OW--how do they handle it? H is committed to our marriage, but has concerns for OW and how conflict between them will affect the child. H wonders how there can be no contact between WS and OW as a child grows up, problems come up, big events occur, etc.

I think there are still residual feelings around (how could there not be--was a LTA) and so am vigilant about any more meetings without me or contact without my knowledge. (And H agrees).

Are there any guys out there with contact with an OC who could step up and say how they deal with all the feelings, meetings, child (especially as the child gets older and has questions), etc? Thanks.