I'm the stupid one AndyG's spouse refer http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2918750

I don't even know where to begin. . . I guess we are trying to work things out. Though from one day to the next I have moments when I think it is all futile, I wonder is it possible to have an STD from all of this? & not be aware of it? Besides HIV/Aids. I have now what I think is a yeast infection. Also I was preg. w/ our third @ the time this SUPPOSEDLY took place & ended (a three to four month span for him), what should I know, look for, or should I worry about w/ our now 3y old son? I have never known hurt like this do people actually exist that have this happen & remain married w/o further problems & eventually have a HAPPY TRUSTING relationship, I can't baby-sit him while he is @ work & that is where the OW still works as well to this day, . . .how do I know it won't become another temp.in the future? or is still an on going thing? Yes he told me about it I didn't catch him so praise him for it! I keep thinking it's like stealing why do it once if you never OW get caught? Come on! Also My biggest question is how do I know the difference between his wanting to work this out being because he Luvs me verses not wanting to part w/ his wallet & face his parents disappointment?

By the way we were only separated for 10 day's of the 4months this took place & he & she both (yes I just HAD to talk to her too) have informed me I am a lousy lay, great! (& i admit i don't get around he was my 3rd)any way he say's she was just a piece of *** but in separate conversation tells me in order for sex to be good there has to be love & an emotional connection! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

try and keep your threads in just the one place - makes it easier.

Dear Used,

First of all, get yourself tested immediately for HPV (Human papilloma virus). This is now the most common STD disease around. It can go undetected for months, years and also lay dormant. It will involve an initial pap smear for HPV (the abnormal cells will confirm). There are no symptoms for this and men can't be tested for this, even if they are the carriers. CONDOMS DON'T PROTECT AGAINST HPV. Hand contact to infected area can spread HPV.There is no treatment for this!!! But, if you have a serious strain it could lead to cervical cancer! SOME HPV's also will give you HPV warts, not all strains (this is another story). If you do have it they will give you a test to determine if you have any cancer cells.

Depending on what you have will determine what other procedures you need. You will need to be tested every six months at your OB/GYN for the next 2-3 years for HPV. It usually takes about a year for it to clear up. Many times you will only get this once and it will go away by itself. Don't be afraid, not all HPV confirmations mean that you have cancer! I'm not a doctor, but I know from experience. PLEASE go immediately to get tested for diseases, there are many more than you know!!!

I was so hurt and depressed I thought I would go out of my mind. I had anxiety attacks (thought I was having a heart attack - never, ever had these). I finally had to get medication because of all the ups and downs I was going thru. I didn't want to do this because I was always afraid of getting addicted to meds. But, lots of medications are not addictive.

Finally he agreed to go to a MC - 1st one didn't work - the 2nd one knocked some sense into my husband's head - we started to recover. Things got better, little by little.

Your husband is also confused right now- just doing a lot of talking. I know the things he says hurts. If he wants the marriage to work - he'll eventually come out of the clouds and then your recovery will start. Recovery has its ups and downs and takes a long time. I went thru so much insulting and pain I can't begin to tell you. But now, we are both on the road to recovery. Be determined, sometimes in the beginning only one person is doing the work, as in my case. Don't give up.

Talk to you soon.