Dear Used,
First of all, get yourself tested immediately for HPV (Human papilloma virus). This is now the most common STD disease around. It can go undetected for months, years and also lay dormant. It will involve an initial pap smear for HPV (the abnormal cells will confirm). There are no symptoms for this and men can't be tested for this, even if they are the carriers. CONDOMS DON'T PROTECT AGAINST HPV. Hand contact to infected area can spread HPV.There is no treatment for this!!! But, if you have a serious strain it could lead to cervical cancer! SOME HPV's also will give you HPV warts, not all strains (this is another story). If you do have it they will give you a test to determine if you have any cancer cells.
Depending on what you have will determine what other procedures you need. You will need to be tested every six months at your OB/GYN for the next 2-3 years for HPV. It usually takes about a year for it to clear up. Many times you will only get this once and it will go away by itself. Don't be afraid, not all HPV confirmations mean that you have cancer! I'm not a doctor, but I know from experience. PLEASE go immediately to get tested for diseases, there are many more than you know!!!
I was so hurt and depressed I thought I would go out of my mind. I had anxiety attacks (thought I was having a heart attack - never, ever had these). I finally had to get medication because of all the ups and downs I was going thru. I didn't want to do this because I was always afraid of getting addicted to meds. But, lots of medications are not addictive.
Finally he agreed to go to a MC - 1st one didn't work - the 2nd one knocked some sense into my husband's head - we started to recover. Things got better, little by little.
Your husband is also confused right now- just doing a lot of talking. I know the things he says hurts. If he wants the marriage to work - he'll eventually come out of the clouds and then your recovery will start. Recovery has its ups and downs and takes a long time. I went thru so much insulting and pain I can't begin to tell you. But now, we are both on the road to recovery. Be determined, sometimes in the beginning only one person is doing the work, as in my case. Don't give up.
Talk to you soon.