Okay, just a vent. I am so tired of WH and his crap I could puke.

He hasn't seen our kids for 5 weeks and before then it was 7 weeks but he can take and pick up the bipolar ow's daughter from school but yet he says he doesn't have time to come over and see his own kids. What is up with that!!!!

I know he is a wh and this has been going on for 9 months now with no changes from him only more isolation to his family and friends. I know he is an alien but I hurt when my kids hurt.

I want to save my marriage and I do love him and want him to come home but there is no excuse what he is doing. He says he doesn't want a divorce or is it because he can't afford it because he is financially strapped right now.

I hope I can hold on.......

Do they all do this to their kids? Forget they exist?

I am sorry...I am not familiar with your situation...

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He says he doesn't want a divorce
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Well...then...what does he want?

What do you want? Are you in PLAN A? PLAN B? Does he come as he pleases to visit?

I think part of the problem is that you are trying to make 'sense' out of what your WS is doing.....do that only if you got time to waste.....

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I hurt when my kids hurt.
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I know what you mean....

but if I am not mistaken...from your signature...your kids are adults now.... I would suggest you keep your relationship with your kids, in which you have input, separate from the one they have with your WS...and work on making that relationship the best you can...because what an A really means is that kids really only have ONE responsible parent...so they need you more than ever.....

...for sure....your WS is totally damaging his relationship with his children.... unfortunately...it's part of the 'consequences' of HIS actions.... and one day it will come back to 'haunt' HIM....

Lunamare

Thanks for your reply. Yes my kids are adults. My oldest is severely disabled and her dad is her world and right now this is killing her because she doesn't understand.

You asked "what does he want?" He wants to get help, but hasn't done it. He is very depressed. He wants me to give him some time to work things out and I have. No contact at all. I have a plan b letter ready but haven't given it to him since I haven't seen him. He is still living with the ow so not much is changed and he is still sitting on the fence.

He doesn't come and go as he pleases because I put a stop to that. I don't have a revolving door at my house. He is pretty much in the fog still and sitting on the fence. It doesn't bother me that I don't see him because I have peace in my life but what does bother me is that my daughter is suffering. What a dumb a##.