First of all sorry for not posting on my own thread but im one of teh page not found people and can only open a new one.

Things seemed to be going reasonably well between my husband and I. We had contuniued going dancing,had lot sof fun and laughs toegther and generally avoided the subject of his homosexual desires. If you need background on me just do a search on my name.

He had a few online friends which were truly just friends. he had also made some heterosexual friends here which made him happy as it was fulfilling his need for male company. Recently our 17 y o Daughter became pregant and he was really looking forwadr to being a grandfather. it looked like thinsg were going to be fine.

last weekend his friends were to be on vacation in Madrid and he went up to meet them. I knew these to guys were a non promiscuous and exclusive couple so I was happy with that. I have read enough to know that he does need male company.

well he had a great weekend: museums ,meals theatre. i thought it had done him good to be away for a few days and get a break. I asked him if he wanted me to unpack his bag and he said not to bother, that he'd do it.2 days later it was still there so went ahead and unpacked it, only to find condms inside. I was taken back to all the mess that went on before.I was so grateful to have prozac to hold me together.

Calmly i realised that it was time for PlanB. Strange realyl as i have got so used to living in PlanA mode that it is like a way of life. I am content in a mainly giver and little receiver role.

I packed up 3 suitcases of his stuff and dropped it off at his parents at the same time telling them exactly why i was doing it.

Well he was home very quickly. he screamed and shouted and kicked teh back door open.he screamed a lot of terrible abuse at me including , how dare I upset his parents. He pulled up stuff from years before. All is my fault. he will nto admit any wrongdoing and told me that he usd to think it was wrong but now knows its ok and doesnt consider himself married and will do exactly what he likes. he refuses to move out of teh house. he says he will go when he is good and ready.

Since then I have simply continued in PlanA mode but have generally left him to himsefl. Any conversations have simply ended in him pouring his venom on me

My immediate idea was simply to pack everything up and fly to my parents. I know this isnt great for teh kids. they ahve had enough upheaval in the last few years.

Well anyway, next week i had planned a week away. I am going to Madrid for 2 days peace and reflection in the temple of my church. I then fly to England for 5 days with my parents.

In a way this couldnt have come at a better time. I dont want to make a hasty decision and I know that this week away will allow me to really think things over and make an informed decsion.

Right now I am aboput 99% sure that it's time for planB. As he wont leave, it seems that I will have to. I get back on teh 20th and could have everythign packed up ready in 10 days after that.

It such a tough decision though.

The amount of venom my husband holds for me because of my affairs is amazing and he uses this to justify his own affairs and intended affairs (apparently he didnt have sex this weeked...it was a precaution....like thats supposed to make me feel better).

IM posting because I so feel like i need support right now. This board was a lifesaver to me in my darkest days. Plan Aing has given me so much peace and tranquilty in my life. If things do finally fall apart and it comes to divorce, I will have teh peace of mind of knowing that I have done everythign possible.

Id also be grateful for any ideas for teh PlanB letter, given my circumstances.

Many thanks.....heres hoping that I can overcome this page not found problem and post on thsi thread.

love

Debra xx

Debbra-

I have gay friends, and to my knowledge someone doesn't just *turn* gay. He must have been gay all along and been trying to deny it.

I know this does little to make you feel any better. Have you two sought counseling???

I don't know how to advise you on this one, it's more complicated when a wayward spouse is having an affair with someone of the same sex.

I wish you luck though, and you are in my prayers.

God Bless,

-Caren