I have had it. I am sick of my exHusband WS's FOG. I am sick of his rationalizations, I am sick of his excuses, I am sick of being blamed for his choices. I am sick of HIM. I am sick of trying to be and do everything for the kids....and no matter what...I get criticised and blamed for whatever from him. I am sick of him not paying what he owes this family...and then him blaming it on me. I am SICK of dealing with him. I want him out of my life. He has lost his relationship with all 4 of my kids...and I am tired of taking the blame for it. I work full time, I am getting my Master's, I still have the kids in all of their events, I am still there emotionally and when I can financially for my older kids.....and HE continues to blame me for his choices and his decision to leave our family. When does it END???? I am so sick of this. He sent another series of abusive blaming emails...and usually I can shrug them off...but not today... Why can't he accept what he has done and move on. He just needs to help us financially. He can't even do that. I don't care what his explanations are anymore...I realize that he will have to blame me until the end of our lives to prove that there was a reason for his actions. He is one sick individual.......thank God he has moved to Florida.

Sorry for the rant. Just got back from KC for a soccer game...and got hit with these emails....and for whatever reason, my blood pressure went through the roof. I am so sick of this man. Just leave me alone....He should only be dealing with the kids' issues....why is he still attacking me? I hate this!!!!!!!!!!! Pat

I know just how you feel. I started throwing out my WH's letters without reading them. Maybe you can block his email for awhile.

Because it is far easier to blame you than to look inside himself and all that he's done.
He's not emotionally healthy, and he takes that out on you.

Just let it go. I know it's hard, I live with this too.
Just ignore his words. I know they still hurt, but we are the ones who need to let go. Let go of the expectation that he will be the father you want him to be, that he will treat you with respect as the mother of his children, that he will be the man with whom you fell in love.

He won't change. You can only change you and how you feel and deal with him. Vent here, then respond if necessary, and ignore if not. (spoken from much experience)

DITTO - what "newly" posted.

About what he owes, can you have the state deal with it? Child support laws?

Thanks everyone....I am still upset today by those emails. And I still have to figure out a way to pay the kids' tuition that he refuses to pay. It just gets so old. Yeck....

I have blocked him for a while at times when he is in his attack mode. He must be feeling bad because he has been attacking me, my older two girls in college and my younger daughter here at home. He is still making excuses for what he has done...and gets upset when no one believes him...and they have kind of given up on him....his lip service about how much he loves them does not fly with the reality of how he treats them. It is sad. The worse thing is that the more he attacks them....the less they want to have anything to do with him. Sad all around.

I did take him back to court in December. He owed me over $24000. He had not paid one medical bill for four kids in over 5 years. He hadn't paid the tuition he was supposed to have been paying...and he owed me over $14000 in child support alone. He got away with it.....The judge saw a handsome pilot acting so sad and lost without the kids...that he would do anything including joining AA and volunteering to go to counseling "if it would help the kids". The contempt charges were never addressed. The judge had me pay him the $20000 equity I owed him in two more years...and she wiped off the $24000 he owed me...therefore, no contemp charges. He got his child support lowered $516 a month....and now he is spewing out to anyone who will listen that he had done nothing wrong and the "judge agreed with him"....Unbelieveable...but it happened. He was layed off from the airlines again...but got a position teaching aeronautics down in Florida. He is taking private pilots lessons again....amazing that he has no money to support his family...but he can do that. He was supposed to attend an alcohol program and also an anger management program...of which he has done neither. He was also supposed to have taken the lien off of my house...which hasn't been done yet. So...it was an excercise in futility. Now he doesn't even have the delinquent child support hanging over his head....the injustice of this whole mess is beyond belief. My lawyer sent me a letter last week finally with the papers from the December court case. She said I could always take it to an appelate court....but it would be expensive. I am sick of the whole mess. He went into court with absolutely nothing. He hadn't even filled out current interrogatories...just photocopied his old one that he turned in for our divorce. He had no receipts...nothing. My lawyer was incompetent....and she caved. It was pretty sad. We had to have an ad litem lawyer for the second time...and again he did not testify for the kids. The kids were in court willing to testify...they sat there all day...and they were never allowed to speak. Oh well...we are beyond that. He hates it that we are still a close family. He hates it that the kids come home when they can...and they want to be with me. He can't see how his behavior has alienated the kids from him. Until he changes himself...they have withdrawn from him. He is too unpredicatable...and they can't trust him. Sad for my kids...but I think he is finally starting to see the results of his behavior towards his family. I would give anything for my kids to have the type of father I had when growing up...but unfortunately my ex will never be that.

Have to run to bed...but thank you so much for listening to me rant. Doesn't happen as often anymore...but he still knows how to turn the screw and get me spun up. Accusing me of not being responsible and to grow up and "act like a parent". I could have strangled him.